What an interesting topic to come across here! This is the very thing I talked to my hubby about when our first grand was born last Feb.

I found a little corner of real sadness in my heart just because I know that a girl who has any kind of decent relationship with her mother will always gravitate there, not to the MIL. I am perhaps a little extra sensitive to this because our only daughter died at age 13, leaving us with 2 beautiful sons. When you lose a child, you also lose her future including the family she may have had.

I could immediately see the difference in the way my DIL brought her child to her mom and my son brought her to me. It is not a fault within anyone, it is simply the way we are made and the way a good mother/daughter relationship works. I am very close to both of my sons but it will never be the same as it would have been with Missi or it is with DIL and her mom.

My DIL and I have a wonderful relationship and she is very conscious of the fact that I miss my own daughter. She really does go out of her way to include me in things. At the same time, she is very close to her own mom and they spend a lot of time together.

I am soooooo VERY blessed to be my granddaughter's main daycare provider. I have nothing to complain about but in my heart, I will never be my grown daughter's mother and that is where my sorrow will forever exist in the background of my life.