Well, I can make a guess here. First of all, losing 20 pounds is a significant achievement! At your height, 146 pounds ought to be almost perfect. Why has that weight been a failure to you?

Second, and most important, you are focusing way, way too much on dieting and losing weight instead of learning to eat well and exercise regularly. Diets never work except as a temporary fix. Learning to eat well and exercise regularly are permanent.

Throw away the stupid scale. Frankly, no one cares what you actually weigh. How do you feel? What are you eating? What kinds of exercise do you do regularly? How do your clothes fit? Are you busy?

If you have, as a goal, the idea that you will become a size 2 you won't get there without starving yourself. That will make dieting look like a pleasure. I know someone who has done this: devoted her live to eating as little as possible. Oh, she's very thin, but she doesn't look healthy -- and she isn't healthy -- and she's pretty boring.

Make treating yourself well a positive experience and the rest will follow. And good luck.