Today I went splashing in the pool so blue,
you could feel the cool water all over you.

I felt like a mermaid floating on the ripples,
then a cool breeze blew and hardened my nipples.

Don't mean to sound naughty, not even a little,
fell off my raft, surfaced my mouth full of spittal.

I nearly drowned because I can't swim a lick,
if I fall in the water I sink like a brick.

I do so love the water especially the ocean,
when I first saw it's splendor I said, "Oh my, land a'gocian."

If I were to die which wouldn't be to my liking,
I would hope at least I would have the funeral of a Viking!