Thank you all for your encouragement. For some reason I'm not sure why this week has been a very tearful and depressing time. Its like all the hurt and unhappiness I have ever felt has all come knocking on my memory. I know I need a closer relationship with God. I think Eagle Heart in a PM said it best about the age thing. I have always felt that I had so much time to do everything and use to say "hey, I'll get to that eventually." Well since June and turning 65 my eventually is NOW! I don't feel or look my age (thank you God) but I am 65 and on the downside of life's mountain and I think I am just feeling afraid. Fear can be a terrible thing. I never thought about dying and breezed right threw Menopause with not so much as a hit flash, yet I now worry about what old age will bring. Oh well, don't mind me...I am wallowing in the thing I detest most, self pity. I will get over this when I get mad enough at myself. I have learned a great deal from PM's and ohers concerns. Thanks for all the wonderful advice, I do pay attention....