I know this is going to be the most facetious answer you've heard as of yet, but it sounds to me like you really need to involve yourself into something you love. I coach those looking for their soul mates and the first thing I tell them is to love themselves first. Get involved in something that is going to take so much time, you won't have time to think of anything else. Once that happens, a mini-miracle happens. You become a person someone would want to love.

What is happening at the present is whether you realize it or not, your unhappiness is preventing your soul mates from entering your life. Yes, you read that right, soul mateS. You have had many come into your life at this point and you still have many, many more to go. However, you are putting up a block. You can be as cheerful as you want on the outside, but people are intuitive. They know something is wrong. There is a girl I know who every single time I see her, she's always telling me about this guy who beats her up all the time. At first, I was sympathetic...I was sort of in a relationship like that at one time so I could relate. However, every single time I would see this woman, and I mean weeks, months, years later, it was the same old sad story. What happened was, I put up this "image" of the girl and as I had heard her story countless times, it didn't matter what she said, I always had this mental picture of someone who didn't love herself enough to get out of the relationship. Boy, I've gone on so, but this is what I do..counsel women and men who are looking for their soul mate.

Anyway, my advice to you is, get INVOLVED. I know you don't believe this now, but you'll remember this when that soul mate of yours pops into your life.

You gotta put yourselves in the man's position. He wants someone who can ADD to his life, not SUBTRACT from it and if you enter the relationship with all this baggage, it's going to be another Saturday night alone because he's going to go to someone who provides him with positivity. Does this make sense?

Not only have I been doing this for years, but I was in the same boat ten years ago. Marriage fell apart, countless no good boyfriends, until I landed in a women's shelter. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. I got my act together, worked harder to make more money, found a house that I could afford and didn't search for that soul mate that would make my life complete. I concentrated on what made me happy and productive and at the time I didn't have a computer so it was a matter of working all the time.

Remember in "Sleepless in Seattle" when Tom Hank's wife dies and he said something to the effect of "Work is the only thing that keeps him going"...eek...that wasn't it or something like that anyway, well, I know it was just a movie, but let's suppose it was real life. He didn't search for a soul mate. He worked. He worked his ass off. And his soul mate found him.

Bottom line, do something for yourself to make you happy.

Oh, forgot. After I had moved into this house, which I'm still in after all these years, my soul mate entered my life. A little secret, actually two soul mates. Story is on my website and that's what started Romancing the Soul.

Sorry to be so windy!

Dorothy