In a related thought to the issue of marrying and remarrying......

To many people, this Letterman scandal is no big deal, because "after all, he and Regina were not married at the time."

That got me thinking about the marriage and remarriage issue. I understand David Letterman and his Regina of TWENTY-THREE YEARS PARTNERSHIP, had a child about 5 years ago and then married about ONE year ago. Thus, Dave seems to be getting a "hail mary pass" on what he did to Regina. (Dave admits she was devastated to learn of his double life)

Yet because of that lack of formal commitment (wedding ceremony, symbolic ring, etc), some in our culture read certain relationship issues differently than when we were growing up.

I wonder if its mostly more men than women who would rather skip the formal commitment of a marriage or remarriage. Especially now that we live in an age where there is a casual relationship sexual thing called "friends with benefits."

A long time ago our family lost mom after she and my dad had been married for 30+ years. I was SHOCKED when he and Miss Ruthie, a lovely widow, moved in together about a month after mom's funeral. Turns out they both felt the need to be part of a couple, but they both wanted to retain their senior SocSec benefits. They both had nice pensions and she had a lovely home. They were together for 7 years until SHE passed away. Then Dad had one of my siblings move in and he never sought female companionship again.

I was as shocked when my own son lived with his girlfriend for 2 years before they got married. (She let him know after a while she was not going to live together as a permanent state of affairs) He was raised with good moral values, which in my background did not include "playing house."

Yet nowadays people of all ages seem to be doing it. So maybe marriage/remarriage is not valued as it once was?

And to include myself in this pondering......A few months before my now-husband and I got married, we both were on strict budgets and each paying a hefty rent/mortgage in different parts of the state. So after much deliberation, and an engagement ring, he moved in with me as we planned our upcoming nuptials. I still feel guilty about it, but we figured it was a practical solution for 2 middle-aged people with tight budgets at the time. (My sweetie asked my son for my hand in marriage, which was a lovely gesture, and yet I still felt my conscience tugging at me for breaking my once-absolute moral code weeks before the wedding.)

In the post-era of "Carrie Bradshaw" of "Sex and the City" and the latest 40-something comedy "Cougartown" in full swing, maybe the more modern question should be:

Would you, boomer people, ever "be with" another man (whatever "be with" means to you) if your current one died or left you?