I've been thinking about this. I think that before hubby came along, I was incapable of being in a relationship, because of so many insecurity/trust issues. I told him right at the beginning that I would be impossible to live with. He knew all about my dysthemia (chronic depression) and struggles with trust, but he stayed. He has been the solid love I've been able to lean against while working through all of this stuff that I could never have worked through without love in my life. It's been a long, hard road to get to the point where I trust more than I mistrust. But his love has been faithful and true all the way through. It's possible that no matter what choice I made in life, I would not have functioned well, until I made that journey through all this crap. I did, I made it through (because of the presence of love in my life), and am so much stronger and better for having dealt with it all. I think it might have been easier to not be in a relationship, but it was much healthier for me to commit to this particular person and then make this journey WITH him rather than alone.

I think that I'm still incapable of finding the "more" that I think is out there...I'm thinking that maybe I need to be happy with all that I've got first, before there's any hope of being happy with anything else.