i know the catholic brainwashing all too well. what i tried to do is take what i loved of the tradition . . . the gothic churches, latin mass (yes, i am that old), the incense, midnight mass on christmas eve, high masses, the choir, etc.

no doubt i have remnants that are not so positive (probably chiefly the guilt).

my mom doesn't get it. she sees me as a slave. she has entitlement issues. i am sure i hang in there out of duty only. and i do believe in karma so i try to treat her as i would like to be treated (and i do fail miserably sometimes because she can be so toxic and i relatiate with my words once in awhile . . .but i have never said what i really think because it would crush her and i do not wish to add to anyone's pain.