Hi Deborah

In my experience, and in my coaching practice, I look for the underlying belief systems around specific "stories" or scripts or circumstances. The reason I say it is harder for me to do in writing is because I listen for the energetic of the words when someone talks to me. So, I'll do my best to describe with an example, hoping that is OK and might provide a bit of insight for you.

During the last few years, I've had many say to me that I'm a "healer"...I couldn't fathom why I got terribly sick to my stomach when that was said and why I tended to run the other way from anyone saying any such thing. As time as gone on, I've realized that one of the Belief Systems (BS)I have is that those that put themselves out there to be a healer get killed or tortured or some such thing and I didn't want to do that (again, in my belief system).

Another one I've had is that friends are a "weight" on my shoulders because most of my friends in my early years were leaning on my strength and constantly draining my energy away. I didn't understand it, felt it happening and felt I HAD to do it that way. Friends, the way I had my story, were to be taken care of, lifted up, carried and then put down. As soon as I needed something they ran away because they were no longer "receiving". So, in my script, friends became something that were a drain on me and not to be trusted. However, it wasn't them, it was me and what I was attracting because of my underlying BS.

I also believed I HAD to be the one doing the carrying and shouldering of burdens because it was the only way I had known. And even when I started finding friends who were giving and caring and would help me when needed, I didn't know how to receive...I equated that with weakness. So those friends kept "running away" because they got tired of trying to help and me not letting them.

The more I look at what my underlying BS, the more I learn about what I wasn't aware of before!

I hope this example helps a little bit. If not, let me know and I'll try again! I have made no attempt to say what your beliefs might be...just that I know there is something. Whether it has been your time to cocoon and regroup a bit and now you're ready or it is something else.