EH, first of all, I am sorry for the memory loss you are experiencing. I bet it is quite frustrating. Second of all, I reiterate what you say about publishing. I had the attention of a traditional publisher. She said she'd pitch the story to the committee, if I would make the end the beginning and the beginning the end. "Start with who you are now, and then go back to the suicide attempt." I tried and I tried, yet I could not do as she said. The book begins with the end of my life, and ends with the new beginning. That was my voice, that is what happened, and I stuck to my decision. I also had the attention of another publisher who wanted a first run of 5,000 copies. Something did not sit right. Where was my audience for those copies? Another example of trusting my instincts. He was a snot to deal with. I don't regret those decisions, but then again, I don't care about my rank on Amazon, I only care about the readers who email me with their voice, finally spoken. Sometimes we have to know that the rewards are not the growth of a bank account, but personal growth, yours as well as others. Meredith has a list of resources on her poetry site. I'm sure others here do too.