Dotsie, I was going to say what Meredith just said: you never lose God. Even in the cacaphony of life (phones, buzzers, bells, and whistles) I envision you in peace. You have the kind of peace people yearn for: young adults living their lives and pursuing their dreams, a household free of drugs, alcohol, and poverty, the normalcy of a maturing body, wrapped up in service to women, and God, the energy of a healthy human Being, and I can't see that you "lose it totally" because you have mental health, psychological balance, and constant strong loving support. I hope I don't sound like I am lecturing or that I am discounting what you are saying. I am just seeing that even when you feel like you are losing it, you do have peace, Although your world is all a twitter with sounds that drown the birds, they are just different sounds of lives being lived. And for that, what is there to forgive? Have you not chosen a household, husband, and children over the convent? L, PL xxoo P.S. PMS or peri menopause can aggravate the sound of annoying sounds. P.S. I came back to add that I admire you so very much Dotsie. You ooze vitality with just a hint of vulnerability. I can't even say all the ways I admire you. Peace, sister.