This post has returned and I can add this Dancer.
My Great grandmother was the local "wise woman" she saw to birth...and to death prior to health care in UK.Terefor my own Granmother had a matter of fact approach.Yes she grieved when people died but she LIVED.she was fun.she went on swings with me even down a slide once in her sixties.
She told me old people "know" when death is near.She tried to prepare me..telling me how it was natural to go to the grave.She would hurry her housework get her children ready and go each day...she saw the cemetary from her window..her friends would ask where she was and be told.."she is there beside the two graves.Her Mother and her baby."I am named for this baby.
She said thing "pass but detail must be given to the dear ones" I grew up hearing this and I believe her.
When she died I had a 5 and 2 year old...I was traumatised and was on auto pilot.I kept the last magazine she gave me for 25 years..holding it in private and used her mirror for years.
Yes she was right (for me) to prepare me.she knew me well.
So Dancer for her it was truth that she knew...

Then my own life opened up wider and I felt joy at being her Grandaughter..but as I write this I am deeply sad.
Mountain ash