Hi Bliss (aka #5).
I'm not sure what you mean by "he's not completely wrong." When you marry someone with kids, you marry the whole family. My beloved husband married me when I had two boys living at home. The younger one stole my husband's 3000 CD collection. My husband never blamed me, never called me ungrateful. He was angry at Jesse, for sure. But he didn't walk away. That was four years ago and he has supported me emotionally, shown up in court for Jesse, and just been there without resentment.

Your soon-to-be ex- has chosen to be "driven nuts" by the situation. It's his choice, not your actions. Care for him, but don't pick up his stuff.

It sounds like your next step is to determine what you need to live on without his support. Perhaps check with a lawyer or mediator regarding a separation agreement. He probably has to support you to some extent and you shouldn't have to put up with his abuse to get money.

Put a plan in place to get to the money you need and take the first step.

In love and support