DK -

I have to admire "where you are" at this point in your life -- maybe you don't even realize how "together" you really are

You obviously have lived/living with some hard things to deal with -- but if you've taught your children that the choice is their's -- in fact -- that they even HAVE a choice -- either roll with the punches and be stronger for it or be a "woe-is-me" says a great deal for your inner strength and character !! And the fact that your children still love their father says more about you than my words can express at the moment -- and you have my respect.

I've dealt with a few "adversities" in my life and turned 50 this year myself so I can relate to your "dishwashing therapy" -- sometimes it's best to step out and nurture a "calm place" inside -- and gather the strength to deal with the situation in a "rational" manner.

I think sometimes we think that only someone going through the EXACT situation as we are can relate to our situation -- but the emotions that surface with any stressfull situation -- be it drugs, mental illness, marriage and/or family -- anything that effects your soul -- can be related to by many women in this forum, and where - true -some people aren't where you are yet -- your sharing helps them find something inside to relate to and helps them start to move forward -- What might be a casual thought to one person may be an epiphany to someone else

so welcome -- and know that you're not alone anymore