Meridith -At 4 a.m. I was finally sleeping. I'm at work by 7 a.m. so the latest I usually stay up is 1.

Dotsie - I think that everyone finds their own rhythm in dealing with things. If you saw us, our family, on most days, you'd never know that there was anything wrong. And typically, most days, nothing is wrong. We go to church, we have friends, I have wonderful friends and if my husband is available we do things together, if he's not, I still go out and do things, go to the movies, go to galleries, bookstores, to dinner out, to the movies.. whatever. That would not be how I thought it was going to be but as much as possible, I do not let his actions dictate my day. Thank god for working at a newspaper, you really can't get too consumed by anything else but the deadlines at hand. And I don't let my emotions get all drama stricken either. It's not that it's easy, it's just that, if I do, I'll get sick of myself and won't be able to be in the same room with me. And I think I've taught my children the same thing...you know... life goes on and you can either lay down and sob and say "woe is me" or you think "okay... what can I do?" ... for me - when I felt like my day/life/minute was out of control, I went and washed dishes. I'm all for dish-therapy. It's mindless but you can do a good job; nobody wants to bug you for fear that they might be enlisted; and you have a sense of accomplishment when you've completed your task. It sound silly but that's how I've made it through some stressful times. And I know it's sounds horribly simplistic, but accomplishment is a really big esteem boost, even if it seems very small. "Despise not small beginnings." Fold towel, do dishes, scoop poop even....I just don't think I do anything beneficial if I were to go out drinking or go on strike or even scream, shout and have a tantrum. And if I do any of those things... what message do I send my children?