Our situation is different -- but the emotions you're experiencing are very familiar.

I wasn't expecting to have to start all over at my age. Every morning I wake up and for the first few moments I have to remind myself that I don't have to go check on my son. I find myself adding items to my grocery cart that I don't need to buy anymore. I pass a store with a "sale" on Marlboro cigs and I start to turn in -- and then I remember that he's not here to smoke them anymore.

Keeping busy is all you CAN do -- time passes more quickly that way -- but sometimes -- like this afternoon -- while sitting at a traffic light -- it hits me -- and I get angry that I HAVE to keep so busy -- because he's not here anymore -- and the emptiness sweeps through me with a ghostly chill. But, when the traffic light changes -- you have to move on -- so that's what I do.

Maybe you SHOULD write a book about your experiences. It's great therapy -- and you will, most likely, help someone else get through a similar situation by reading your thoughts.

Life sure can throw you some wicked curves can't it