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#97129 - 12/07/06 02:37 PM Re: Now THAT'S an Excuse! [Re: jawjaw]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
Great question JJ.

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#97130 - 12/08/06 03:18 AM Re: Now THAT'S an Excuse! [Re: Edelweiss]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Wonder where Ms Jane is..........wuhoooo....Janeeeeee

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#97131 - 12/08/06 12:46 PM Re: Now THAT'S an Excuse! [Re: jawjaw]
Jane_Carroll Offline
member

Registered: 07/06/06
Posts: 1521
Loc: Alabama
See Jane, see Jane shop, see Jane walking screaming baby while Mommy tries on clothes, see Jane pull out her hair (Jane's, not baby's), see Jane shop, see Jane drop...

So that was my day yesterday. I started on the post last night and daughter needed the computer and Jane was too pooped to come back to it. I remember when it was the other way around!

Great question JJ...how do Bertha and I deal with negativity? First of all, Bertha has dealt with that pesky, negative inner critic in the form of Rita in the first book and continues to in the second one...Rita doesn't come out in the journal.

I find that my own negativity is harder to deal with than someone else who is negative...she follows me everywhere I go! So like the old ring-around-the-collar commercials...Bertha tried everything from telling her off to considering shooting her...but in the end figures out that she just won't listen to her...

That's the whole thing. You can't push the voice out of your head...you have to replace it with a nicer one...when that voice says, "That will never work!" I come back with, "But wouldn't it be nice if it did?" or something like that. I find humor and kindness and just being aware of those voices helps a tremendous amount.

I know that didn't exactly answer your question but it was the first thing that came to my mind. Now for those negative people that we come in contact with. Bertha has a shape sorter theory about people (you know the baby toy). Anyway it goes something like this...we all have all the different shapes (vibrations, moods, etc.) and we all have all the slots to put the shapes in. When I come to you with my star shape and you are in a bad mood and only have your square slot available...we don't connect very well.

If we want to connect I can either get in a bad mood with you and become a square...or you can get in a better mood and become a star...

What usually happens is number 1, I get in a bad mood and become a square or number 3, we just keep bouncing off of each other trying to get the star into the square slot...getting more and more frustrated...

Number 2, you changing to a star, usually doesn't work because that's too many mood jumps all at one time for you to make. (You can slide down the moods in a hurry...but it's harder to climb back up that quickly.)

So to make a long story longer...what we do is to try to keep our star out by reading good books, thinking good thoughts, and being around other star personalities...that makes it easier to not to try to change the squares so much. When we do come in contact with a square...we try to leave them alone or maybe just being around us will help them become a triangle, who knows?

And when all else fails...we put on our running shoes and run the other direction when we see them coming!
_________________________
Jane Carroll

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#97132 - 12/08/06 04:30 PM Re: Now THAT'S an Excuse! [Re: Jane_Carroll]
Casey Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 789
Loc: Aptos, California
Jane, I love your sense of humor and it is sorely needed this morning! I'm into digging the muck (negativity) out of it's deepest recesses. It's been there so long that it's a really tough dig. So I'm a square this morning. Thanks for rounding off the edges!
Casey
_________________________
Casey Dawes
Wise Woman Shining
Supporting women business owners to step into their power as business leaders.

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#97133 - 12/08/06 05:14 PM Re: Now THAT'S an Excuse! [Re: Casey]
Vicki M. Taylor Offline
Member

Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 2196
Loc: Tampa, FL
Jane, great analogy. I love the star shape vs. the square shape. Where did you get all this great insight? Is it experience? Background? fairies?
_________________________
Vicki
"What you believe yourself to be, you are."
Claude M. Bristol
Your Writing Coach
Writing Coach Blog


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#97134 - 12/08/06 05:20 PM Re: Now THAT'S an Excuse! [Re: Vicki M. Taylor]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
I taught her everything she knows....what?

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#97135 - 12/08/06 08:33 PM Re: Now THAT'S an Excuse! [Re: jawjaw]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Jane, love the shape sorter story. It's a great thing to remember when we encounter difficult people. So much of all the optimistic, upbeat, discipleship attitude stems from practice. We need to surround ourselves with positive people, good experiences, uplifting books, music, etc. The more we do this, the easier it is to recognize the squares and try to convert them.

Sometimes, when I see a miserable looking person, I try to get them to smile. I recall one cashier at the grocery store who couldn't crack a smile. As I walked away, I lifted her in prayer because I had no idea what she may have been going through.

What is your favorite speaking topic?
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#97136 - 12/08/06 09:13 PM Re: Now THAT'S an Excuse!
Jane_Carroll Offline
member

Registered: 07/06/06
Posts: 1521
Loc: Alabama
Casey,

Good for you shoveling out all that muck...that just gave me an image of Bertha in lime green jodphers and high-heeled riding boots, mucking out the stalls...making room for a pony...see, you made me smile, too.

Vicki,

I think I've read almost every personal growth book around (not really...they're popping up everywhere!) Somehow Bertha twists it all up and comes up with these goofy analogies. This is one that I have wanted to create a talk on and haven't done it yet...I did buy the shape shorter to use as an AV when the time comes...so in answer to your question...all of the above...I am a nurse and have taught Psych nursing and trained as a life coach and I've had a lot of experiences...not as many as da Queen...and Bertha is close to a fairy!

JJ,

What?????????

Dotsie,

I believe that holding an image of someone the way you know they would want to be (happy)and holding them in prayer is the very best thing you can do for them. When we focus on their bad mood we only amplfy it. And when we expect them to act that way...they usually don't disappoint us either!

I love to talk on any topic that helps women see that they can make a difference in their lives by making a difference in their thoughts and beliefs. I like to help them look at what can be instead of what is...one of my favorite titles is "Take Time to Smell the Roses...Or At Least Get Your Nose Out of the Manure!" The talk has many variations on the same principle. I really do want to develop the shape sorter one...I think it could be fun for a company and team building, etc.
_________________________
Jane Carroll

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#97137 - 12/08/06 11:21 PM Re: Jane Carroll [Re: Jane_Carroll]
bamgibbs Offline
Member

Registered: 06/06/06
Posts: 322
Loc: Durham, NC
Congratulations!


Peace & Blessings,
Beverly Mahone
Author, Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age
http://www.talk2bev.com

ā€œIā€™m not a writer because I wrote a book. I wrote a book because I was inspired by God.ā€

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#97138 - 12/08/06 11:35 PM Re: Jane Carroll [Re: bamgibbs]
Jane_Carroll Offline
member

Registered: 07/06/06
Posts: 1521
Loc: Alabama
Thanks Beverly!
_________________________
Jane Carroll

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