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#9281 - 01/26/05 06:09 AM Re: divorced...finally!
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Well Deb you can hire a paralegal to do allthe paperwork correctly. My divorce could have been expensive with an Attorney so I hired a paralegal and it cost a third about $450.00. She did everything and it was so simple. For address safety you can either use a mail box address one where the address is legal for your drivers license and all legal papers or to safeguard your state safety use a friends address in another state. For instance you need to live in Vegas 6 weeks before you can file for divorce, so come here establish residency, use say my address and go home and in 6 weeks come back and file. Hire a paralegal. I'll let you know when and if you need to be here and when and whalla, divorce done. As far as the kids are concerned, as they grow older his faults will begin to appear to them and they will understand. You have to think of you, of your safety right now. Good luck and know nothing is impossible.

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#9282 - 01/26/05 07:28 AM Re: divorced...finally!
meredithbead Offline
The Divine Ms M

Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
Debi, I don't have much practical knowledge here but I think the other women here have all given you worthy advice. The one thing I do know is that you can change your name at any time for any reason, to any name whatsoever, as long as your purpose is not to defraud or hide from a criminal record.

I wish you the best and am happy you're finally out of that situation.

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#9283 - 01/26/05 09:54 AM Re: divorced...finally!
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Debi,
I understand your concerns about your husband finding you. I wonder if there is a women's shelter nearby that you could use as an official address in order to avoid him knowing your address. Also, I think there might be people there or available through them that would help you file.
Also, I would doubt that your husband would contest the divorce. It is usually very expensive to contest a divorce filed in another state and he would probably not want information to come out about how he abused you and threw you out of your own house. And in a contest, that information would be sure to be exposed.
Perhaps you are not emotionally strong enough to go through all that at this point and maybe now is not the time.
Having been through something similar, I understand that and your need for safety.
My prayers are with you.

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#9284 - 01/27/05 12:01 AM Re: divorced...finally!
Debi Offline
Member

Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 152
Loc: Kansas City Kansas
Ladies , let me first say , thank you for your support and responses , Chatty , as funny as it sounds we were married in vegas , spent 11 yrs there.I would love to go back there and start where i left off as a surveillence agent. Thank you for the offer. I will look into that.

Meredithbead I have looked at changing my name and it will be 398 or so , Names already picked out ,,, "Deluna Johnson," Deluna has a funny story behind it too boot. it means the moon and thats my birth sign ,. When I had the phone turned on in my name here , someone misintrurprited (hope thats right) Debra to be deluna. Dont ask me howthey did it but it suck.

Smilinize. As for contesting the divorce , I dont know , he contested a restraining order and of all things used my writing against me , he went threw my things and found stories where there were male characters and accused me of going to see these other men , when they were merely stories or letters to characters in one of these stoies. He works for a government agency and works very hard to keeping his name clean. He all but sweet talked the police when they showed up at his door and stood watch as I got my things this last time. they told him he should count the stars that I didnt make out a report. And he had no right to throw me out this was my home too. He spouted stuff like my name not being on the lease , and me not getting a key . Its a story literally in itself.

AS for getting a paralegal to help with the divorce paperwork, Thats what I'm going to school to finish. Ladies thank you so much your support means everything to me.

Deb

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#9285 - 01/29/05 01:55 AM Re: divorced...finally!
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Your daughter will come around, eventually. For now, work on legally taking care of yourself. Find a Legal Aid Office in your area. Call the local shelter (call 1-800-799-SAFE for a shelter) and they can give you a lot of helpful information. You also need an atty that understands domestic violence. It's too late but you should have pressed charges because there isn't much proof now. But, you left. You're safe. Go to my site (www.eadv.net) as a lot of the women have been through the same thing and also have worked our lovely system, which is not always fair. Usually works in favor of the man.

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