It all worked out as if it were destined. We were getting close to retirement - and did not plan to stay in the south anyway. Our family and kids are here. We hadn't planned on coming back quite as soon - but, it all worked out for the best.

MIL will be needing more attention (she's 81 and getting along independently for now, but getting Very forgetful.) So, we're here for her, too.

I hope to have a plan in place for my care when the time comes - I don't want to burden my kids. No one likes to think about these things until we're in trouble and need help.

Thanks for the input everyone. I just returned from a long day - driving 150 miles, driving to the doctor, and back 150 miles. It was worth the effort.

My mom and dad were happy I came. I gave them lots of information - some of which you gave me here - and I was able to catch up on where both of my parents were medically.

The doctor was nice, but a little off-put by my presence until my dad finally told him that I had a heart attack last year and was concerned more than ever about health and health care. I was proud of my mom - she was honest with the doctor about her memory issues and her passing out at the theater. I am not sure that she would have done this if I had not pushed the issue by going with her to the doctor.

My dad was happy to have someone there to push the doctor a bit - I could be pushy so he did not have to be, since it is his doctor, too.

She has a referral to a nuerologist and will be taking a memory test run by the university. She will cut back on meds until she has had blood tests for b12, iron and niacin.

I am so glad that I went today, and thank you all for the support and help.
Ann

I didn't want to cover up a post, but also wanted to give everyone an update.

My mom went to the nuerologist and got her report back on Friday. The doctors and social workers spent over 2 hours with both of my parents. Seems she does have significant memory loss - she is labeling it Alzhimers but dad said the doctor gave it some other name, an alphabet soup name. Anyway, it is not going to get better, only worse.

Good news is, my parents are both going to get more help, join support groups and just knowing what they are up against is helping their emotional states. Mom also started taking an anti-depressant (much to her general practioners chagrin) and it seems to be helping her anxiety.

My mom and dad had a long, long tough time taking care of both of their mothers through lots of health issues, and I know her biggest worry is that she will be a burden to dad. Her neighbor had alzhiemers and she saw first hand how difficult it was on the husband. Any advice on how to help her get past this step will be greatly appreciated.

I will be seeing both of them and the rest of my family on Thursday at my house for a turkey feast. I think it is time for me to give them both extra love, while she is still the woman I want to remember.

Ann

Bless your heart Anno...You still have time to accomplish that too and thats a plus.

Thanks, Chatty and Anne. It is easy to give them that extra love, too - they are both such kind and giving people.

Thanks, Anne. I will also pass this on to my dad.

Anno, why not write them a letter of affirmation for all they've done for you through the years?

I did this years ago for Mom and Dad. I found a pretty Thanksgiving border and wrote them a love letter, basically. Anyway, when Mom died and we were going through her belongings, it was right on top in her drawer of trinkets and letters she couldn't part with. I read it and was so grateful she had read those words and knew the deep love and appreciation I held in my heart for her and Dad. I did it for her, and I felt blessed in the end. I highly recommend it.

Oh, and I forgot, I just read The 36 Hour Day. Someone close to us is suffering from the early stages of demetia and I found this book to be most helpful. Here's the link:

http://amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/002-566...the+36+hour+day

One of the authors is a neighbor. He works at Hopkins and is a leading expert on Alzheimers.

Thank you Dotsie. I will write that letter this weekend. I just got the same book recomendation from my coach, today. Kismit - two people telling me about the same book on the same day. I will be purchasing it today.

Anno,
You can go to the link for Alz assocation it is www.alz.org
they have a toll free number you can talk to 24 hours a day to care providers and get help . Please give them a call .

Renee