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#74367 - 02/02/06 02:15 AM Re: Because I Remember Terror 'Father' I Remember You, Sue Silverman
Sue William Silverman Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 71
Loc: Michigan
Hi, Lynn, well, it wasn't that I actually went from piano and ballet into writing. To be honest, I wasn't a particularly good ballerina or pianist! So those creative outlets, over time, kind of drifted away. Now, no, I don't wait for inspiration to strike! Every morning (when I'm not traveling) I get up and write, first thing, before the "world" intrudes too much. And, whether I'm feeling that sense of urgency toward any given piece of work or not, I make myself sit there until I have to do something else, basically. (Well, okay, I eat and stuff.) But, as with all writers, some days seem more productive than others. Even when I end up staring at a blank computer screen...or when I'm writing really boring sentences, I still sit there. And I figure "work" is being done even if it doesn't look like it. I figure the subconscious is still figuring stuff out, and maybe the right words will be there tomorrow! I always hope! Sue

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#74368 - 02/02/06 02:16 AM Re: Because I Remember Terror 'Father' I Remember You, Sue Silverman
Sadie Offline
Member

Registered: 10/08/04
Posts: 1274
Loc: MD
Welcome Sue,
I am working on a book of my own about my life with and elderly mother and some greedy relatives . I have read Lynnie's book and and love her writing style . Lynnie has changed my life about a lot life my outlook in life .

Iwas watching a show on TV the other night about two women who have founded what they call "Child Help" this is for abused childen . These two women have a place in Calif and other places around the county for abused children go where they can be safe from the abuser . Have you heard of this organization ? I have checked out there web site.

I can't wait to take a writing class one day soon. I was wondering about memories also are we in for questions about the truth to our stories of what has happen in our lives or we have to show proof like court documents .
I studied ballet , but not the piano . Nice to have another dance here .

Just some thoughts on this !

[ February 01, 2006, 06:17 PM: Message edited by: Renee ]

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#74369 - 02/02/06 04:03 AM Re: Because I Remember Terror 'Father' I Remember You, Sue Silverman
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
I am SO glad you are finally here! I've read both of your books and you are such a wonderful writer.

I continue to buy copies of "Father" and find someone who I feel needs them so give them away. I believe you might owe me part of your royalties!

After Love Sick came out, I wondered what your husband's response was, if you care to comment.

Thank you for giving of yourself and your life to help others.

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#74370 - 02/02/06 04:28 AM Re: Because I Remember Terror 'Father' I Remember You, Sue Silverman
Sue William Silverman Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 71
Loc: Michigan
HI, Renee, how good to hear from you, and to learn that you are working on a book! The topic, about taking care of your mother as well as the greedy relatives, sounds like a story that will interest many people! And good luck with the writing class. I, too, studied writing, and it helped me a great deal, mainly in terms of learning the craft! But I can't imagine those of us who write memoirs needing "factual data" like a court document! Not to worry: after all, while of course a memoir is based on factual material ("this really happened to me"), it isn't as if we walked around with video cameras when we were kids! You know, all I can write is my memory of events, how things seemed to me. For example, if my sister wrote a memoir of our time as children, she'd have very different memories than mine. In other words, a memoir isn't the same as a biography or even an autobiography. Yes, I have heard of the Child Help organization. They are helping so many children. It's an amazing group. Thanks for posting! Sue

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#74371 - 02/02/06 04:35 AM Re: Because I Remember Terror 'Father' I Remember You, Sue Silverman
Sue William Silverman Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 71
Loc: Michigan
Dear Dianne, thank you for such an enthusiastic welcome! And thank you, so VERY much, for your enthusiastic support of my books as well. Wow, this really means a great deal to me. You're right: I probably DO owe you some of my royalty money!

Actually, at the time I even began to write "Love Sick," my husband and I were divorced. Having said this, though, he was still very angry. He didn't like how I portrayed him, for one thing...though I think I was rather generous! I mean, I tried to protect his privacy as much as possible...and not reveal TOO much about him, but of course he's part of my story. So, in that way, I obviously had to include him. Anyway, he's over the anger now and we're (more or less) friends. Thank you, again, for your very generous support of me and my work. This truly means a great deal to me. Sue

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#74372 - 02/02/06 04:46 AM Re: Because I Remember Terror 'Father' I Remember You, Sue Silverman
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Welcome from the heart Sue...I think the world will see and know that James Frey was a mere flash in the pan and not a credible example of true abuse....My question to you is was your father and/or mother still living when you published your initial book? Did your mother know ahead of time about the abuse? If so what was their response? If not alive then is that the reason you were able to share your story? So glad to have a chance to speak to you.

[ February 01, 2006, 08:47 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

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#74373 - 02/02/06 05:09 AM Re: Because I Remember Terror 'Father' I Remember You, Sue Silverman
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Renee, thanks for what you said about my book! A comment like yours makes me glad that I wrote it. Sue, I'm still curious about your discipline with writing. When you write daily, how long to give yourself? Stephen King says he writes 8 hours a day every day except on Christmas and his birthday. However, I bet he does not have to do the laundry. My time is wasted by 1) housework 2) television. How do you get around the time wasters? Sue, I did not think you were too revealing about your ex in Lovesick. I mean, even if I wanted to, I would not be able to describe him or find him. But I suppose your mutual friends knew of whom you wrote. Protecting privacy to avoid liable suits is an issue with memoirs, isn't it? Thanks always, Lynn

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#74374 - 02/02/06 06:38 AM Re: Because I Remember Terror 'Father' I Remember You, Sue Silverman
Sadie Offline
Member

Registered: 10/08/04
Posts: 1274
Loc: MD
Sue,
Lynnie has told me so much about you . I want to purchase your book and hope that I can find it in the Barnes and Noble or Borders book stores.

Well, with all this TV coverage on Oprah about Freys' book Million Little Pieces and so of his story was not true , I began to wonder if all I did write a true story and changed the names in my book that I would have trouble selling .
because people would question if this was fact or ficton .

So, I would consider this book I am working on a Memoir . This is good to know and thank you for you help.

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#74375 - 02/02/06 08:52 AM Re: Because I Remember Terror 'Father' I Remember You, Sue Silverman
Sue William Silverman Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 71
Loc: Michigan
Hi, Chatty Lady, yes, I agree with you that this Frey issue/controversy is a flash in the pan. Mainly, the media loves a scandal. But as soon as they finish with one scandal, it's on to another! This will all blow over.

I began to write my first memoir two weeks after my parents died! (They died within 6 days of each other.) Actually, my therapist (who knew I was writing fiction at the time) suggested I write the memoir. Is this why I had the courage to write it, because my parents were dead? In many ways, yes, in that I was only "new" to therapy and didn't have a strong sense of myself back then. At the time they died, in other words, I was still rather lost, emotionally. In any event, I do feel sure that my mother knew about the abuse while it was going on. She "chose" not to stop it. Even though she, too, was scared of my father, still, of course, she should have protected me. Sue

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#74376 - 02/02/06 09:08 AM Re: Because I Remember Terror 'Father' I Remember You, Sue Silverman
Sue William Silverman Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 71
Loc: Michigan
Hi, Lynnie, Well, if you saw my house, you would know I don't waste time cleaning it! It is in a constant state of disarray! So I figure that not cleaning my house gives me quite a few extra hours to write! Ironically, before I got published, I had more time to write, and probably wrote about 6 hours a day, especially on the days I wasn't teaching. Now, though, I honestly don't have a set number of hours. When I'm not reading my students' work and it's a really quiet day (not too often), I'll write about 5 hours a day. But some days, when I have a lot of student work, I might only write an hour. Mainly, though, I write first thing in the morning. But, as I say, I don't write at all when I'm traveling.

I'm glad you don't think I revealed my ex-husband too much in Love Sick! Nevertheless, yes, one does want to be aware of the possibility of a lawsuit, though I don't think that happens too often. A lawsuit would more likely be over invasion of privacy than libel. And, to be honest, my goal in memoir isn't to invade someone's privacy, anyway. I actually WANT to protect the privacy of others. My sense is that, in creative nonfiction, the book or essay is about me...yes, my reaction to other people, too, of course. But that's just it: it's more my reaction to others...as opposed to actually writing about someone else in any real depth. Is this clear? Let me know if not! Thanks. Sue

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