Dotsie et al,

Here's one more religious thing you might find interesting. I go regularly to a private writing class in an apartment in New York City. There are only four of us, we meet for dinner, and have become friends. One of the members is a priest named Edward Beck who is working on his 3rd book for Doubleday. He's a great writer. His first 2 books are mostly anecdotal, but the one he is working on now is more about teaching religion. I love to read and comment on his work.

Judy

I hope you all weren't offended by that comment. It was just an observation. It might be fun for all of you to discuss who God is and how He plays a role in your lives. Just a thought!

I also noted your mentions of your mothers and how much they pushed you. Do you think our mothers pushed us because so many of them weren't able to realize thier dreams outside of their families? Judy mentioned that she ondered if her mom's illness caused her to retreat, or if she'd felt she'd done her job with her borther and her?

Personally, I know my mom often flet lost in her empty nest. She was a wonderful, brilliant woman who lived her life for her family. I would love to have seen her get a second chance at doing something else.

Carol K,

My corporation DID hit me where it hurt (my family), by eliminating my position while I was out on leave - and vulnerable on two fronts. First, my husband still worked for a different division of the same company, so they knew I wouldn't make trouble and risk their retaliation against him. Second, my son was hospitalized at the time (for a psychotic episode) and on the company insurance plan; having dual insurance saved us a huge amount of money on his very expensive care.

When the depression hit me, they said, "Well, let's dump this one before she costs us any more money," and added my name (obviously as an afterthought; it was typed in at the bottom of a computer printout) to the list of people who were considered no longer necessary. Several others on the list were within a year or two of retirement, and they lost everything. None of them had the money to hire lawyers to sue. (Neither did we.)

I worked in Personnel, so I knew the history of dirty deeds that had come before ... mainly multiple women "laid off" while on maternity or disability leave. I was the one who prepared the data for an EEOC audit to prove that there was not a "glass ceiling" within the corporation, and when I asked my manager why two women's statistics were to be omitted from the report, was told, "because I said so." (By the way, the EEOC was NOT interested in hearing from me after I was let go, and my complaints to other government agencies fell on deaf ears.)

I had been warned that Personnel was a dirty business, but never believed it until that year.

Dotsie

No offense taken about the question of God and religion. Many of the ninewomen have strong religious beliefs and we did spend quite a bit of time talking about how religion had shaped our lives when we talked about our early years. Somehow none of those discussions made our book. Our chapters were quite short so this is understandable.

We also spent a lot of time talking about our mothers.Since there are nine of us -- we had nine very different experiences. I know my Mom was very smart and always wanted to go to college. But she grew up in the depression and her family was poor and she married a military man and led a traditional life. She was happy with her life as a stay at home Mom (a housewife back then), but she encouraged me to go to college so that I could have choices in my life and she was very proud of me. I was the first child to graduate college on both sides of my family.

Like many of my generation, I wanted a life and a career and didn't want to be dependent on a man.

Since my mother died in my twenties, she wasn't able to see how her influence shaped my life, but my father, who was a very conventional man, was very proud of me as I got older, even though when I was younger he disapproved of me.

Kathy

Late Bloomer

I was not a victim of corporate targeting but saw it happen more and more. It saddened me and made me eventually leave. I do believe there is an ethics crisis in American business.

But I checked out your website and it seems to me that you have found a wonderful creative place- with your poems and books. I assume that finding this place in your heart is a good thing for you?

I think you are very brave.

Kathy

Late Bloomer

I got very angry at your former company by just reading about what happened. I'm constantly amazed by how fragil the concepts of "what's right" and "fairness" are. Guess that shows how naive I am.

I went to your web site as well. I'm going to order "Intervals of Light" from Amazon. My computer is frail, and I'm not sure it could handle down loading.

My undergrad degree is in Electrical Engineering, and even though I had to take 144 credits to graduate, only nine of them were in anything other than math, science or engineering. Therefore, I'm not sure I'll be able to appreciate all aspects of your poetry, but I'll try.

Is your hsband still working for that same company? My situation was no where near as unfair as yours, yet it still took me years to get over it. I'm still searching around for my passion. Although, I am taking care of my nine month old grandson, so there not much energy left for anything else now.

Congratulations to you. You've found a way to move on to something you love. And it looks like you are good at it.

Carol K.

Dotsie et al,

We talked a lot about our mothers and some of the stories we told are in our book. I would never have made it to college w/o my mother's continual push. She wasn't a home-maker - as she put it, her jello always sat down, but our house was reasonably clean. My mom spent her time teaching my brother and I the names of all the Presidents (1st, middle, and last), history (especially anything about Lincoln), the states and their capitols, poetry that she loved (especially Carl Sandburg's) and words (both my brother & I scored very high on that part of the SATs. She was a wonderful woman and I was so sad that she died early and my girls didn't really get to know her.

Judy

Hi, I just thought I'd say hello! I've never really worked in the corporate world, just temp jobs when I was in college. I'd work one week and have enough money to pay my bills for the month. Then I'd quit. I'd get another temp job when I ran out of money!

I don't think I have the temperament for that kind of job long-term. I've always been independent. I have to be very structured for my business to succeed, but I don't take well to structure applied from outside. Also, if something was unfair, I'd be the first to say so, even if it meant getting fired.

I work at what I love, even though it's financially not very much. Sometimes I think it might've been nice to have a job with regular hours and a paycheck, but I don't regret my decision.

Basically, I'm a one-woman business.

Meredithbead,

You are already doing what you love -- at least it sounds that way. I don't want to give the impression I was truly unhappy in my 1st career -- far from it, it was exciting. I learned how to work within a large organization. But the day came when I realized it was all too hectic and my health was suffering from it. And since I'd started work so early, I was able to opt out.
I think it is wonderful that you've found something creative to do.

Judy

Meredithbead

My friend and I went to the BeadFest in Philadelphia last month-- so many beads so little time.

One of the "hobbies" I am exploring after retiring is jewelry making. It is fun and I love making pretty things to wear. This is one of the freedoms I prize in being retired- having the time to try new things.

I went to your web site- your jewelry is beautiful. I love swarorski (sp) beads. Once visited their factory in Europe.

Kathy