Jawjaw,

First, I likeed your joke.

One of us was forced out, and that is what her chapter in the book is about. But Carol doesn't get on the internet these days much because she is taking care of her new grandson when her daughter goes to work. In the book Carol tells the story about how the group made her understand that the event occurred as part of a much bigger picture, it wasn't her fault, and it was time to move forward.

Hi jawjaw,

I loved your joke.

One of the chapters in our book is about a woman who was forced out of the corporation. In a wonderful way she tells the story about how she felt about the event and how the group helped her to understand that she was just caught up in a much larger event – something that can happen to all of us. She also tells about how great it was to learn that other members of the group felt like “outsiders” in the workplace and mentions that we should have formed our group before we stopped working.

Carol may not be able to get on the forum because she is very busy taking care of her new grandson these days.

Judy

Tears threaten both sides of the glass ceiling.

After working in a male dominated corporate world for a few years I founded my own company which grew to a multi-million dollar corporation.

I never cried in front of either a boss or those working for me. And I certainly never cried in front of a client. I either joked my way around the tears or else used them as fuel for the competition.

Tears are a constant threat to those in charge. They are a luxury that a boss cannot afford. Even the threat of tears can be a reason women encounter the glass ceiling. I have fired men from jobs paying hundreds of thousands of dollars and they never shed a tear. I have fired women from jobs paying tens of thousands and they cried, even begged, never realizing that their constant crying and claiming victimhood was the reason they were being fired in the first place.

This may sound harsh, but the workplace is not a psychiatrist's couch. As an owner, you have so much responsibility and the stress of it puts tears constantly in your heart. You have so many families relying on you to keep the business afloat and you can't possibly jeopardize the income of the entire workforce to accomodate the problems of one individual. You have the responsibility for hundreds of people on your mind constantly. You have to do what is best for the company or else you injure so many people.

Just another look at crying in the workplace.
smile

Smilinize,

I know how it feels to worry about being too tough. I once received my yearly report, and my boss had written, "She's a tough cookie." I walked around for days wondering if I should be happy about that. But I knew it was meant as a compliment.

Judy

By the way, Smilinize, what does your multi-million dollar corporation do?

Judy

My business was a military contracting firm. I provided specialty medical services to military bases. I did a little more than ten million per year for several years (not that big among military contracting firms many of which, like Haliburton, do billions). Most of the time I only had around 100 employees, but each had families then there were suppliers and sub contractors.

Owning a business is a huge and often misunderstood responsibility. Employees are guaranteed at least a minimum wage for their work, but there is certainly no minimum profit. You put your life and heart into a business and it can all be lost in a heartbeat by incompetent employees.

I retired myself in my early forties. Sometimes I miss the power, but not the responsibility.

smile

JawJaw

I did chose to leave my corporate job and retire, but I will admit that the environment was very hostile and made me want to leave.

I also believed that with all of the acquisitions and continuous management changes, it was probably a matter of time before it was my turn. So I chose the time to leave.


For many of the other ninewomen, some chose to leave because of "special financial deals" and some because it was just time.
Kathy

Hi Smilize and Judy too From Kathy

I believe that the reason that there are private stalls in bathrooms is so there is some place to go where people can't see you cry.

I too have been called a "tough cookie", sometimes the b-word, but never a cry-baby.

It is nice not to have to worry about keeping up that tough image. I am nurturing my softer side

Kathy

OOPS!

Meant to say "Hi Smilinize"

Kathy

OOPS!

Meant to say "Hi Smilinize"

Kathy