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#74129 - 11/02/05 07:19 PM Re: Beyond the Corner Office
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Welcome to BCO! I know we all look forward to hearing your answers. Coming from a corporate world of 25+ years, and in the role of a professional, I can safely say the company where I worked made great strides in equalization up to a point. That's where the "good old boys" network was took over and when I left the company this year, (or they left me, downsizing) it was still alive and well. Sad. But true. And this is an interntional, very large coporation.


#74130 - 11/02/05 07:20 PM Re: Beyond the Corner Office
Judy Offline

Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 44
Loc: Summit, NJ

I'm going to collect some ideas about rules from the other women, or get some of them to get back to you. We all had different experiences.

#74131 - 11/03/05 05:09 AM Re: Beyond the Corner Office
Lynn Offline

Registered: 06/26/03
Posts: 621
Loc: pennsylvania

I just chenged jobs maybe even careers or better yet, I transitioned into another job.
I had worked in the corporate world, only woman on the managment team etc. for 20 years and spent about 7-9 before that "getting there".

Boy the stories I could tell!!! I have been at my new employer for 8 working days so I have alot to learn but also a lot to share and teach. That is the good part.

I am very interested in hearing everything. I would like to do the exercises and hear more about women transitioning in their professional lives. Mine was because of family and so tired of the male dominance I was getting sick-literally.

I am on the edge of my seat.


#74132 - 11/03/05 07:25 PM Re: Beyond the Corner Office
DanaBD Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1
Loc: New York State
Lynn et al,

I am at Dana's. Just got her registered. So I can answer easier when I get back home. But we are setting up ways for you and a group you are part of to hold one of our seminars. Where are you in Pennsylvania?


#74133 - 11/03/05 10:42 PM Re: Beyond the Corner Office
Judy Offline

Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 44
Loc: Summit, NJ
Hi all,

#74134 - 11/03/05 10:49 PM Re: Beyond the Corner Office
Judy Offline

Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 44
Loc: Summit, NJ
Judy, trying again.

The 9Women discussed unwritten rules for women at work today. We think one of them is "don't cry." Sometimes it is very hard when someone makes you really angry, but it is better to hold it in, think the problem through, and come back later when you are in better shape to resolve the issue. It was interesting that when we discussed the issue, some of us had problems with it.

Im going to find a list I've used in several talks I've given. It's not exactly a list of unwritten rules, but is my advice based on 32 years at AT&T and Lucent, ending up working for Pat Russo (now Lucent's CEO) as the Chief Information Officer of her business unit.


#74135 - 11/04/05 01:21 AM Re: Beyond the Corner Office
Judy Offline

Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 44
Loc: Summit, NJ
Judy, getting back to Evie


I wanted to get back to the question about unwritten rules that still exist at work today. A few of the NineWomen discussed this topic. We came up with one rule that should be mentioned. “DON’T CRY.” Sometimes when you are very angry about something a peer or boss has said, the tears want to well up inside you. It is much better to hold them in and get out of there. Walking out, even angrily, is better than crying. After you have calmed down, think about a logical approach to the problem and get back to the person who hurt you in a way that he/she knows where you stand and has an even better view of you than before.
Judy from 9W

#74136 - 11/04/05 01:21 AM Re: Beyond the Corner Office
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Thanks Judy. I'll be very interested to read them. I wonder if men are ever tempted to cry at work?

#74137 - 11/04/05 02:33 AM Re: Beyond the Corner Office
Evie Offline

Registered: 08/27/03
Posts: 791
Loc: Nipigon, Ontario Canada
while I've never actually cried in front of someone during a confrontation act work, I have had to fight really hard to keep the tears back and try not to appear like I'm about to cry - which is difficult when your eyes are welling up. Then I've run and hid in the bathroom until I could calm down [Smile]

I dislike that my natural reaction to a confrontation is to cry - but I am a sensitive person and I don't know how or if I want to change my nature/make up - instead I think its better to develop good coping skills, like the technique you mentioned above - hold it in and get away for awhile.

#74138 - 11/04/05 03:15 AM Re: Beyond the Corner Office
chatty lady Offline

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
In the newspaper world (The Washington Times)when I lived and worked in Washington, DC I was the only female head of a department in the entire organization and much younger than most of the men. I came in to a very hostile group. I found out that when a women cries (never me) she is thought of as a "sob sister." But when you stand up for yourself and never show emotion you are considered a "bitch." Me, I'm just me and showed the old goats how the job was done and my staff of 14 were the top money producers from the first month and stayed in that position and they were so impressed I was then considered "one of the boys." Its all in how you allow yourself to be treated and thought of. I would rather be the bitch if need be, not the sob sister because no one in business respects that in anyone, anywhere at anytime.

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