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#72816 - 04/01/05 10:23 PM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
I am working on a memoir about my cancer experience. I must confess that I am afraid that I may not produce material that is as well-written. I’ve read on the forums that a couple of you had success with your first books, but are stuck on the second. I wonder if the fear of being able to produce as well once again is a component of the writer’s block. I’ve heard actors say they thought they might be unable to generate from the well of creativity for a subsequent project. Even Bob Dylan said that he could not reproduce the genius lyrics and music of his youth. I wonder if the other writers/artists here plunge right into a second/third project, or linger in the fear that you might not be able to do it again?

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#72817 - 04/02/05 11:45 PM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
TVC15 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/03/04
Posts: 2538
Loc: North Carolina
Welcome Lynn
I like the idea of seeing my goals!

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#72818 - 04/03/05 12:34 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Dannye Offline
Member

Registered: 01/26/05
Posts: 124
Loc: Prophetstown, IL
Lynn,

Another name used for your style of visualization is "treasure-mapping". Sometimes, people will get a blank photo album and fill it with pictures of what they desire. They will even replace the heads of people in the pictures with their own when that person's appearance or activity matches their desire.

It is a very effective technique because it creates a mental equivalent, which is eventually what will manifest in the physical.

Congratulations on being so consistent in using such a technique to create your desires!

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#72819 - 04/03/05 12:37 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Hi TV. My book opens with a suicide attempt, an obvious manifestation of depression. I recall when my goal was getting out of bed! In order to battle depression and low self-esteem, I would not have goals par se, but would instead have an "achievement list" at the end of the day. I would acknowledge not what I did NOT do on my to-do list, but what I DID do. 1) got out of bed 2) took a shower 3) brushed my teeth 4) got dressed 5) fixed my hair 6) took my meds 7) ate other than sugar. This may sound silly, but anyone who has ever suffered from depression will recognize that getting out of bed can seem like an enormous task. Fortunately, the above mentioned tasks are routine, and no longer something I have to think about. Now, my goals are loftier. Do you want to share what some of your goals are and/or what image would depict them?

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#72820 - 04/03/05 01:26 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
unique Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 483
Loc: North Carolina
Lynn, I'm going to try your Treasure Map technique. Does faith figure into it at all? Do you have to Believe that it will work, or will just seeing it every day help it to happen?

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#72821 - 04/03/05 01:34 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Lynn, it surprises me that some of your family members haven't read your book. Do you know why? Has it ever been a topic of discussion?

I can relate to writing taking off in different directions. I began this project in 2002. It looks like the book I set out to write will be different than the one that gets published. I had an idea and it snowballed. I am rewriting another proposal as we speak. It's been a n amazing journey.

You mention meeting people who have read your book and feeling awkward about what they know about you. I can relate. Out of the blue, people will tell me they've been in my forums(this happens at PTA meetings, church functions, neighborhood meetings, etc) and I stand there feeling naked. My face turns read and I wonder what posts they read. But I'm sure you feel the same way I do. It's all true, it's me, take it, or leave it.

The dialogue with your counselor is priceless. There is so much wisdom in her words. How did you go about writing that?

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#72822 - 04/03/05 01:39 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Lynn,
Could I ever relate to those depression-battling goals. I had to do the same thing. After several weeks of not even being able to get out of bed, (and that failure just made it worse and harder to get out of bed the next day), I finally decided to move ONE LITTLE STEP, one achievement at a time. 1) Roll out of bed (forget the shower today); 2) Make it down the stairs; 3) sit in the chair and ponder breakfast; 4) go back to bed. 5) Thank God for a husband who made sure I didn't starve to deth. That was the first few days. But it was better than not getting up at all. Like you, I stopped concentrating all of the stuff I was not doing and started focusing and applauding the few little things I was doing.

And it evolved from there. The morning I was actually able to make (and eat) my own breakfast was a huge milestone, and probably marked the turning point for me. It was a very long arduous uphill climb, but now, even though retired, I'm up early every morning, take a shower most mornings and never skip breakfast, and rarely have enough hours in the day to fit everything in.

I love your goal-manifest post. But I also like the way you remember that some people can barely manage to roll out of bed. We can only begin where we are, and if that's in bed, then that's where we start, with rolling out of bed. And then do what little we can, when we can, and be proud of ourselves for even that little morsel of accomplishment.

I REALLY like the one about being a guest on Oprah...have no idea why or what I'd say, but it definitely rings a chime somewhere deep inside of me.

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#72823 - 04/03/05 06:11 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Unique, I can honestly say that when I first read of this technique (in Creative Visualization) I was skeptical. At that time, I had little faith in God and/or myself. There are books about intention being an important component to manifestation, (such as “The Sky’s The Limit” by Wayne Dyer) but I did not put much emotional effort into my maps. If it worked, it worked. If not, then oh well. I don’t recall using images to depict the spirit in my first one, but in subsequent maps I realized how important spiritual growth is to me.

I was drinking too much wine at the end of the work day when I made my first map. I clipped a bottle of wine, pasted it onto the map, then put a big red X over the wine. I have not had a drink of wine since December 4, 1994. Not that wine is bad! I was just using too much of it to escape from high stress and low pay. So, that’s one way of imaging habits you want to break, by using a big red (or black) X.

I didn’t dare to dream at first. To give you an example of how limited my goals were, the first map I did had a tiny picture of a microwave on it. That’s all I could think of: a microwave.

I hid my first treasure maps from my husband (then boyfriend) because I was self-conscious and I thought he’d be skeptical. Since then, we’ve seen so many manifestations of our desires that he clips pictures, and says, “Put this on the map!”

Hmmm…. I still have a crush on Paul McCartney. Maybe I should put a picture of him on my map!

This technique is amazing. And, if something is not meant to be, you’re still covered by saying, “This, or something better…”

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#72824 - 04/03/05 06:53 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
The dialogue with your counselor is priceless. There is so much wisdom in her words. How did you go about writing that?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Dotsie, thanks for noticing the dialogue. In my first draft, I had no dialogue at all. I had no idea as to how to write dialogue. The draft read as a life-less news account, not a story about a life! Boring. The first draft also had 167,000 words. I hired an editor who suggested dialogue. (I paid him $1,000; his editing was priceless!) Gosh, I was scared; dialogue was stretching me as a writer. I also had to constantly reference editing manuals to see where the commas are placed, when to use colons, when to let a part of a conversation stand alone as one sentence. Some of the conversations are word-for-word based on memory. I’d ask myself, “What did Karen say? What did I say?” The wisdom comes from the composite character of Karen. She is more than one counselor combined. Some of the wisdom was actually my own insights, but to keep continuity of the dialogue, I attributed the knowledge to Karen, as if she were imparting it to me. ALL of the wisdom was new to me!

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#72825 - 04/03/05 07:02 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Hello Eagle, Perhaps the notion resonates with you because you too will be on Oprah in and of yourself. I have no doubt that we boomer women will be on Oprah, with Dotsie in the hot seat. We are a phenomenon! I am glad to hear you made your way through depression. How did you know to mark your accomplishments? You know, I think that our spirits desire healing and wholeness, and we can be driven by instinct and intuition to health. I like your phrase: we can only begin where we are. Thank goodness you had someone to care for you and about you. I still take the anti-depressant Celexa

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