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#72063 - 12/06/04 04:16 PM Re: Daphne Stevens, Ph.D. soulful midlife
Evie Offline

Registered: 08/27/03
Posts: 791
Loc: Nipigon, Ontario Canada
Originally posted by jawjaw:

Thanks for being here and just fyi...I'm from Alabama, my real name is Georgia and I think people just get that confused. No prob....Southern is Southern, am I right?

BAHAHAHA!!! mid-life women get confused???? say it ain't so [Razz] [Razz]

On a more serious note, I so needed to read these posts today after going to bed feeling sorry for myself last night because I was the only one still up watching the end of "Christmas Vacation", I still don't have the Christmas cards or newsletter done, I only got two parcels ready to send and have to get out another one and I'm REALLY TIRED and don't feel like it!!!!!!!

There, glad I got that whine off my chest [Smile] You know I managed to get presents bought and wrapped very early this year, so I thought I was ahead of the game until last night...

Just reading everyone's thoughts is helping me to feel better [Smile]

OK just read the above sentence and need to clarify - "just reading what everyone has posted..." - I can't really read your thoughts...... [Razz]

#72064 - 12/06/04 05:47 PM Re: Daphne Stevens, Ph.D. soulful midlife
Daphne Offline

Registered: 07/30/04
Posts: 40
Loc: Macon, GA
Oh, JJ--I just had to go out and look at my license plate. . I thought for a minute I had been in a different state all my life--or maybe I had taken a wrong turn on the way home from work and ended up in Alabama or something.

Sounds great to plan toward a holiday vacation next year, especially if you're a single-income household. Some times I survive hard weeks just thinking ahead to the luxuriously leisure days of a vacation ahead.

Christmas cards? Newsletter? What are they? In recent years, I've done well to keep a supply of Christmas cards on hand so that I can dash off a note to the sweet people who continue to keep me on their card list. I can usually set aside an hour or so on Sunday afternoons to read through their notes and write something in response.

I send birthday cards through the year instead of worrying about Christmas cards too much. It feels more personal than doing a whole batch of cards in December, and I think people appreciate being remembered. I have a birthday in January--usually very bleak weather, even here in Jaw-Jaw. It's always a lift to get mail besides Christmas bills. .

#72065 - 12/06/04 06:36 PM Re: Daphne Stevens, Ph.D. soulful midlife
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Do you think we could have been separated at birth? My b/day is in Jan as well.


#72066 - 12/06/04 09:39 PM Re: Daphne Stevens, Ph.D. soulful midlife
Daphne Offline

Registered: 07/30/04
Posts: 40
Loc: Macon, GA
Oh, I'm sure we're sisters--we're both so wise and witty. . .Do you come from a family reminiscent of Flannery O'Conner characters, too?

#72067 - 12/07/04 10:28 AM Re: Daphne Stevens, Ph.D. soulful midlife
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Without giving away the entire chapters on this, could you tell us more about creating a vision for the rest of your life? I simply can't wait to get my hands on the book itself...but in the meantime, can you wet our appetites?


#72068 - 12/07/04 11:21 AM Re: Daphne Stevens, Ph.D. soulful midlife
TVC15 Offline

Registered: 09/03/04
Posts: 2538
Loc: North Carolina
I thought I was the only one feeling like this! It's good to know that there are others out there with my same attitude! And a book too! We had 2 really bad christmas's in a row and I think I am trying to overcompensate this year to make it a good one but I am totally exhausted and losing steam as I go along. (Partly age, partly getting over some flu bug) Thank you for being here Daphne, I need all the help I can get!

#72069 - 12/07/04 12:57 PM Re: Daphne Stevens, Ph.D. soulful midlife
Daphne Offline

Registered: 07/30/04
Posts: 40
Loc: Macon, GA
Yes! On creating a vision:

Carl Jung said that people are not very interesting until they reach the second half of life. (I'm freely paraphrasing Jung, but that's the essence of it). In life's second half, we begin to turn away from our preoccupation with the outer world. We begin to turn inward toward exploring our true self and what lies beyond.

For some people this means winding down--slowing into semi-retirement, turning from intense physical activity toward more meditative pursuits. It means becoming aware of physical changes--the growing infirmity of our bodies, the illness and death of our parents, etc.

For other people, this means having time to take on physical challenges. In my chapter on Creating a Vision, I describe my friend Heather, who built her own house after a traumatic divorce--a new house, created just for herself.

Midlife is like that. We "build a new house." I describe it as a "watercolor bedroom," a place of retreat and solace and exploration. Heather literally created a new place to live. But any way that we do it, a "new house," in dream language, means a new manifestation of the Self--of ourselves, in the ultimate sense of who we are.

Creating a vision can mean a lot of things. But it means getting energized about who we are and what we want and how we envision living, now that we're not preoccupied with having children and writing resumes and building nests to accommodate spouses.

I'm curious about what kinds of visions some of you have. What would you like to experience in the next 10--or 20--or 30 years?

#72070 - 12/07/04 02:53 PM Re: Daphne Stevens, Ph.D. soulful midlife
chickadee Offline

Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 3910
Loc: Alabama
Hi Daphne,

I am happy to see you here. Enjoyed visiting your site. I will be reading your book as it is at the top of my kind of read list. Thank you for making that possible.
I am taking this opportunity to reply to your vision question and *** Note to self*** bookmark and check back here periodically.

Keep my Faith – Become a better person
Keep my Health – eat right, exercise and think positive
Continue to Volunteer - make good changes in someone's life
Settle in Tennessee and have Permanent Roots - In Oklahoma now
Have MOH retire early – so we can enjoy each other more
Daughters and son within walking distance – all in Canada now
Watch grandchildren grow and graduate – (maybe live long enough to see their offspring)
Publish a book – The one I'm working on right now
Have a Llama, an Emu, and a peacock – just fer lookin at ( kitties and puppies too)
Have a well visited interesting website – The one I'm working on right now
Plan my “permanent roots” garden – I have planted everywhere through out the years
Open a “My Grand-Baby” store – so I can converse with grannies and babies every day
Open a “Permanent Roots” nursery – I love gardening
Have a vegetable garden – enough for the winter and to give to others
Have a Best friend to tell it all to – and be hers vice-versa
Learn to play the fiddle and the banjo – then teach it to my grandkids

All Do-able

Time frame: Today – ( leave blank )

I am anxious to read others.

#72071 - 12/08/04 03:01 AM Re: Daphne Stevens, Ph.D. soulful midlife
chickadee Offline

Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 3910
Loc: Alabama
Oh yeah!
I'm at a pack a day: mad: [Mad] [Mad]

#72072 - 12/08/04 03:24 AM Re: Daphne Stevens, Ph.D. soulful midlife
Dotsie Offline

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Daphne, it's so good to have you here. You are so wise and welcoming.

Ladies, you can get her book at

I have lots to post because I've already read the book, plus I want to add my two cents to all that has already been posted.

I'm a firm believer in creating a soulful midlife. We are older and wiser, better in touch with who we are, and hopefully... finished with the "shoulds" in life.

For years I've attended prayer groups, retreats, Women of Faith Conferences and the like. By the grace of God I left one retreat with a golden nugget, to commit to reading the Bible and journaling every day. I get in about 5 days a week. This habit has help chang my life. [Wink]

I've considered myself a faithful person since we recommitted our lives to Christ about 20 years ago, but it wasn't until the golden nugget, that I make revelations about myself daily. Some hurt, some heal, and many transcend!

I was grateful to read Daphne's book and discover how she and other women are choosing to create soulful lives.

Ladies, get the book. You'll relate to her stories. You'll also enjoy answering her questions for reflection at the end of each little chapter. It's the kind of book you can pick up and read anytime. Lots of little bits of wisdom tucked away for women at midlife!

Also, I'm excited for next month when Prill Boyle will be in here. She's the author of Defying Gravity: A Celebration of Late-Blooming Women. Her book shares the stories of 10 (I think it's 10) women who made huge changes in their lives at midlife. It's so inspirational.

Remember, the bigger the dream, the bigger the dream come true!

[ December 07, 2004, 01:17 PM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]

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