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#71557 - 02/03/05 09:44 PM Re: Self-Doubt/Self Marketing
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Sug, have you read Prill Boyle's book yet? She's our featured author for a few more days. I recommend reading it NOW. The stories will encourage you and that's what you need. Your fear will be replaced with courage, strength, and faith in YOU! You will see what women did at midlife to change their future courses in life and how they are soaring to new heights that nestle with their passion.

I'm a firm believer in surrounding yourself with encouraging and loving people, activities, studies, forums [Wink] , whatever it takes to lift you up and make you aware of the gifts the good Lord has given you. Focus on that, pray for guidance, and I promise you you'll get answers. Be still and listen. Take the time to go inward and you'll be amazed by the messages of love the Lord is giving you.

I know it's hard. I was there three years ago while trudging through the aftermath of Mom's death and facing a soon-to-be empty nest. I'm praying for ya girlfriend.

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#71558 - 02/03/05 10:52 PM Re: Self-Doubt/Self Marketing
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
You know something Ladies, you're right again! Dotsie, I didn't know that Prill's book covered such intricate ideals. I shall give it a try.

I guess yesterday when I posted the self-doubt/marketing my confidence in me was pretty low because I had compared myself to the folk at that function. I know. Shame on me!

This morning I awakened with a better attitude and started contacting some of those contacts vs. feeling inadequate against them. Then I contacted SCORE for even more brainstorming options for self-starters.

Unique, you're right. I've had my passion snuffed out maybe one too many times and need the oxygen that rekindles that flame. Hunger/HS Senior fees/paycheck-2-paycheck should have been enough, right? Nah, sometimes we get too comfy in our reclusiveness and settle for mediocricy when our minds aren't functioning right. Guess that's yet another tenacle of depression or something??? However, I'm excited today and filled with that passion to go and get it, JJ!

Now, I'll have to make up my mind on which to do and stick to it. Having a little experience in many areas kinda makes me feel like I have some type of ADD or something cause it's so hard to make up my mind and STICK TO IT.

Well, that's where the Lord steps in and guides me. I have not asked Him cause it just feels like I'm whining when I look at other folk's real problems; Tsunami victims, Third World hunger issues...etc. I think I'll move along to the Faith Forum for a bit of restoration in faith before I take yet another step.

JJ sure has a way of adding that confidence: "TONS OF TALENT" for example. SMILE!

Thanks Ladies!

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#71559 - 02/04/05 01:09 AM Re: Self-Doubt/Self Marketing
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Oh Dotsie, you are right. Prill's book sounds wonderful and like a must read. Somehow or another, I kept skipping over that particular topic because I thought the title, 'Defying Gravity,' pertained to our 'female body parts defying gravity (LOL). Not that I don't have those issues, Hehehe, but that just seemed like a subject I didn't want to discuss. Boy of boy was I wrong!

I went to her site and sure enough, there are several women featured with my same issues that have success stories etched in them. Great! I'd love my story posted like that one day, soon too.

Good stuff there, Prill! Congrats 2 you!

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#71560 - 02/04/05 03:16 AM Re: Self-Doubt/Self Marketing
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Sugar...Do you get the NAWW newsletter? If not, let me know because it has some things in there you should read as well. I think they may help. I'll be glad to forward my copy to you if you want to read it.

JJ

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#71561 - 02/04/05 05:31 AM Re: Self-Doubt/Self Marketing
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
yes, i get that JJ. I will look at it a bit harder. Thanks!

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#71562 - 02/04/05 06:00 AM Re: Self-Doubt/Self Marketing
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Oh cool then. Check out what Kelly James-Enger
writes about...I think you might find some of it useful.

Hugs, JJ

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#71563 - 02/04/05 06:43 AM Re: Self-Doubt/Self Marketing
Happy Birthday Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Hi, What is NAWW? I wonder how I would explain myself if I went to get a job-job. After all, I haven't "worked" in ten years. I left property management 10 years ago, and I left the stress. I had to "make nice" with people who were screaming in my face about rent increases, etc. Anyway, when I quit, when I could let down my guard, repressed memories surfaced so that finally I could begin a healing journey from my past. There was no way I could deal with the issues of abuse during therapy AND have a job. I was grateful that I had that time to heal. Then I had the opportunity to go back to school. I wanted a degree in psychology, sociology, or social work, and social work was available. I walked into a scholorship and sold a car to afford the education. While there I had some administrative jobs, but no big deal. It was all I could do to stick with it and finish. Just as I was about to finish, with only the internship to complete, I was diagnosed with cancer. I asked if I could wait 6 months for surgery, and the doctor said I would be waiting to die because it was a fast growing cancer. So I stopped the education to deal with cancer for 2 years. I blamed myself, and told myself, see, Lynn, you found a way not to finish something! (When I started back to college my mother even said, "Is this yet another thing you are going to start and not finish.") It took everything to finish. And I forced myself to finish my book. My point, Sugar, is not in judgment but in understanding. I had a plastic surgeon who know me well, and when I was released, I said, jokingly, "It's so hard for me to focus. I wonder if I am a candidate for the adult ADD drug." And she said, "You think??" as in, "well, duh I knew that about you all along." I compared myself to her, 8 years younger than I and a plastic surgeon, poet, artist. So, I have a similar question: how do I explain myself when I get a job? I tried to get a job at B&N over Christmas, and a manager said, "But you are an author" and although I tried to push him by saying I like books & people, he was, like, go home and write a book lady. So, another point is that I often look for things to distract me from my God given work, which is posted in my signature. Still, how do I explain myself? Men do not have the same absences from career that women do because they are not usually the caretakers of the children or in our cases, the parents. Love and Light, Lynn

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#71564 - 02/04/05 06:46 AM Re: Self-Doubt/Self Marketing
Happy Birthday Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Oh, I wasn't trying to make this thread about me. My questions are rhetorical. I was just sharing my experience to support Sug. Healing is the most important thing in life and the hardest work one will ever do. Love and Light, Lynn

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#71565 - 02/04/05 08:50 AM Re: Self-Doubt/Self Marketing
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Lynn,
Yours is the type of encouragement people need. Not judgemental, and not falsely reassuring, or sweetly pitying, but living breathing proof that obstacles can be overcome.
I am very impressed with your accomplishments especially in the face of all you had to endure. A person whose value is in education is never too old or too poor to acquire a degree or diploma or certificate. A person who finds value elsewhere is never too old or too poor to go for that either. The point is, if you truly want something, you can be paralyzed by the past or you can forward toward what you want even if it is only one inch a day.
smile

[ February 04, 2005, 01:51 AM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

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#71566 - 02/04/05 10:16 AM Re: Self-Doubt/Self Marketing
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
JJ, that article was right on target! I sure had opened this week's newsletter and skipped right over it. Kelley has some great points. I wonder what more she has to say in her book re: specializing.

Lynn, National Association of Women Writers (NAWW) is a great org with tons of resources, especially if you don't overlook them as I did this one JJ mentioned on Kelley James-Enger. The site: http://www.naww.org/

Thanks again, Lynn for sharing that encouraging story and I'm happy that you won the battle of cancer and are here with us to post a happy ending-new beginning to such a long life journey. !!Whew, long sentence alert! I understood the rhetoric in the comments.

You know something, Smile? That may be my issue right there in a nutshell. I want immediate gratification since I believe the healing process is in check. I think I'm moving too slow or let my experience at that event make me feel 'slow' or some other negative term 'low-esteemed' folk label themselves with. One inch a day is better than none at all, huh? Yeah.

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