"But if anyone has caused grief....you ought rather forgive and comfort, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow. Therefore I urge you to reafirm your love to him...Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive."

Forgiveness is often difficult....but truly a liberating, loving gesture. Forgiveness must be genuine, sincere, heartfelt. We often pay lip service to forgiveness....saying that we forgive but do we ever really forget? God has forgiven me 100 times 100 for a myriad of wrongs....should I not then practice that same forgiveness. If our goal is to inhale the character of God and exhale His love and generosity, shouldn't we practice forgiveness as he does? While it is hard to forgive some of the wrongs that those we love commit, it is neccessary if we are to grow as God's women. Forgiveness heals the forgiver as much as the forgiven.

Kathryn, amen to all of that. Beautifully written.

Forgiving is one thing and forgetting is another. Sometimes I think we need to remember some of the hurts so we can tip-toe tenderly around some of our past wounds. I still believe that even though we remember, it doesn't mean that we haven't forgiven. Make sense?

Another thing I have found to be true with forgiveness is that we can decide in our minds to forgive, but it may still take time for the old loving, caring, giving, emotions to surface towards the person who has hurt us.

Prayer is key. We can do all things through Christ who strengthen us!

Any thoughts on at what point do you need to forget? My husband and his brother grew up with an alcoholic, abusive father. My brother-in-law said to me this summer that he could forgive his father, but never forget what he did to them. My answer to that was at some point though, he'll have to put it behind him and carry on with the process of healing. But maybe I'm wrong???? My husband is still dealing with the forgiveness issue ......Different story - my dad and his only full brother just reunited this past summer after not having seen each other for over 33 years - a lot of family issues/dynamics kept them from having much of a relationship - and yet, they managed to put that behind them, greet each other joyfully, reminisce, and just spend time together without blaming anyone. It's a moving experience when you can see forgiveness work its healing.

Evie,
To me, learning to forgive and forget is just that. A learning. In my opinion, when you focus on helping others, you cannot help but be filled with pure joy and love which is what it's all about.

You feel their pain, and realize that you can be instrumental in helping to ease that pain. By taking the emphasis and focus off of yourself, and by giving and serving others, you LEARN to forgive and forget because your heart is too full with love to feel the past and it's negative influence. At least, this has been my experience. I hope this helps in some way.

well put and I agree - it is a learning, a life long process.........and I think its important that we keep working on it - through helping others, through prayer, through trying..... thanks!

There is a great old saying that goes something like, "To forget history's lesson is to repeat them". So forgetting a problem, history, pain, whatever, is not really possible and probably not too wise. In dealing with our childhoods, our marriages, our relationships, to forget is to repeat. To remember, but with love and forgiveness, opens the door to the possibility of positive change and repair. In trying to rebuild my life after the past year of pain, I am determined to remember all that led up to the crisis, to evaluate with honesty and candor, the strengths and weaknesses of my family, and to resolve to work toward correcting the problems and building something better. But to pretend that one can ever forget some of the pains of the past is naive. It takes more work to forgive and to move on than to stay angry...often that is why people stay angry.