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#209223 - 11/29/10 01:49 AM Everything
Rose Offline

Registered: 09/05/05
Posts: 71
Loc: Georgia
Everyone seems so cheerful! I have been away from you for a long time and am coming back. I am Rose and I was a regular. My subject tonight is not uplifting.
I am having a hard time dealing with life right now. I am 59 years old and I'm tired and I have health problems. I am retired and stay at home...and love it after working all my life. Soooo, where's the problem? I don't know. I can't think of a reason for me to be so down, so low. I am a counselor and have helped many people find their ways but now I can't help myself. I can't sleep. I am on an antidepressant to no avail. Somebody talk to me. I feel so isolated.
Keep The Faith

#209225 - 11/29/10 02:32 AM Re: Everything [Re: Rose]
Eagle Heart Offline

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Rose, I so understand!! I've been through so many years of feeling down, for no apparent a matter of fact, my life was everything I could ever have asked it to be, and yet I was unable to find any joy anywhere. Everything was a challenge, the fatigue was debilitating, and life was a terrible chore. I don't know you, or your history, so it's really hard to begin to speculate on what's at the root of your malaise. I remember dealing with so many negative things, like a profound sense of futility, hopelessness (things will never get better), the list goes on, and something tells me you probably know everything on the list.

It's a long and lonely trek. I was helped by the women here, but I could only manage to work my way through very small chunks of time at a time...some days it would be such a challenge just getting out of bed, so I would have to focus on accomplishing that. I kept stickies of affirmations on my mirrors, I kept filling my mind with positive thoughts and gratitude (it was NOT easy at first, but I kept at it, moment by became my job - and it ultimately eventually worked).

I'm really tired right this moment, so am having trouble articulating well what I might otherwise be able say better. I just want you to know that you're NOT alone.

Rose, are you a spiritual person? Prayer was my lifeline, even though at times I had to rage at God because of all the pain and losses I was suffering. I talk to God CONSTANTLY! Whenever I feel fear, I tell Him I'm afraid. I try to imagine what I would say to someone I loved with every fiber of my being, and then imagine God saying those things - and better - to me. Nothing negative, nothing destructive...everytime I heard a destructive negative entering my mind, I actively replaced it with something positive, like being thankful for a blessing, and there are lots of them. Start small. Like having running water, or electricity.

ANother thing that helped me, honestly, was to pray for others. It helped me to keep my mind focused off of my own agony, and helped me to feel like I was contributing to the good of someone else.

I had to put together a whole repertoire of tools and coping mechanisms to help me through to the other side of this lowness. Medications, therapy, gratitude, prayer, positive affirmations to replace the negatives, being here helped tremendously, even playing silly games on the computer (they helped to keep my brain active).

I have to stop now, but I will carry you in prayer throughout the night and hope that you can feel presence and caring vibes winging their way to your side. Be compassionate with yourself. Something inside of you is itching to change/grow/evolve and this is part of the "leaving behind in order to move forward".
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

#209227 - 11/29/10 03:18 AM Re: Everything [Re: Eagle Heart]
Anne Holmes Administrator Offline
Boomer in Chief

Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3212
Loc: Illinois
Welcome back, Rose. I'm the new "Boomer in Chief" at NABBW and NABBW, so consider this an "offical" welcome.

We're glad you thought to come to us with your challenges.

Eagle Heart, that was a wonderful and thorough answer to Rose, and I thank you for sharing what worked for you.

I agree that having a whole array of coping mechanisms is most helpful. And I find one of the things that works the best is one that you mentioned early on - getting involved in helping others who are also experiencing challenges. I just watched a great movie on the Hallmark Channel this weekend that dealt with that. It was called "The Christmas Choir," and based on the message at the end of the movie I am pretty sure it is a true story.

Here's a press release I just found confirming that it is true: Hallmark's "The Christmas Choir"

And here's a link to the Hallmark site, so you can find out more and check on when it will air: "Air times for Hallmark "Christmas Choir"

Hope that helps a little bit!

Boomer in Chief of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.

#209250 - 11/29/10 04:29 PM Re: Everything [Re: Anne Holmes]
Eagle Heart Offline

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Thank you Anne!

Rose, another thought rolling around in my head is the whole aspect of SAD - Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder. Many of us are affected by the changes brought on by winter, especially the ever-shortening of daylight. The lack of sunlight can affect our moods and make us lethargic and depressed. I've had SAD for as long as I can remember, though undiagnosed until my mid-20's. Now I know to compensate for it, by taking walks during the sunniest time of the day, by taking Vitamin D (that helps me a lot, I combine it with omega 3 and the combinations has effectively replaced my anti-depressant!). Sometimes even just knowing what is triggering our moods and lowness can help ease the heaviness of it all.

How are you doing today?
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

#209251 - 11/29/10 05:53 PM Re: Everything [Re: Eagle Heart]
Mountain Ash Offline

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3027
If most of the interests you hold dear take place in summer then winter can be a bleak time.So for me I do craft work in winter..and read more.
I also have a flip over muti photo frame of favourite places we visit.I buy postcard and trim them to fit my flip frame.In the knowledge that when the weather warms up these haunts will be revisited.
If work provided stimulas in friendships that too can be a loss.
but where there is a space it can be filled if we look out for other ventures

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