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#182546 - 05/19/09 01:43 PM
Re: What an ordeal
[Re: Edelweiss3]
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Member
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
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Yes, same here, Mom does not know if she's hungry or hot. Her long term memory is gone too. She says she is sad all the time. And she says she's ready to go... Today the author of "Eat This, Not That" claimed that there are studies that coffee may slow the onset of dementia and Alzheimer's. I am mad about those so-called studies and claims. It's glib, it's flip, it's wrong, and surely someone who says those claims does not have a person with Alzheimer's dementia around.
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#182603 - 05/20/09 12:32 PM
Re: What an ordeal
[Re: chatty lady]
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Member
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
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chatty, i'm so glad for your sister that she had you to take care of her! We should all be so lucky to have TLC while experiencing terminal illness and/or dementia.
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#182640 - 05/20/09 08:21 PM
Re: What an ordeal
[Re: Princess Lenora]
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Member
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
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I can't and won't take care of my step-father. When he and I were alone in the kitchen, he said aloud, "Who will take care of me when I'm old?" and I could not did not say a word. Wouldn't it be an instinctual reaction to say to your step-f of 50 years, "Oh, don't worry dad, I'll take care of you." He's already 76. I gave him all that I had in my lifetime, and I am just getting myself back. Got nothing left for him. I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way about a parent, or parental figure?
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#182649 - 05/20/09 11:34 PM
Re: What an ordeal
[Re: Princess Lenora]
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Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
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You underwent alot when you were younger, Lynn..with various family members. No one is asking you to be a saint.
I find it remarkable of your reconciliation with your brother.
My partner really didn't feel much super grief for death of his stepfather whom he felt didn't treat his mother well...especially during drunken times. His mother was a lovely person but didn't stand up to her own husband.
He died over 10 years ago.
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#182702 - 05/21/09 03:12 PM
Re: What an ordeal
[Re: orchid]
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Member
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
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Yes, Orchid, it is remarkable in terms of my brother and I. A reconnection is rare indeed. I'll probably feel like your partner when my step-f dies, not much grief. I've already grieved the loss of my mother. You know, with Alzheimer's, people have to grieve the loss of the person with the Alzheimer's long before the body has died. Thanks for the feedback.
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#188345 - 08/15/09 05:16 PM
Re: What an ordeal
[Re: Princess Lenora]
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Member
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
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Hello BWS friends, well, it's time for hospice. My mother's condition(s) are progressed enough that the social workers and DRs say, that's all we can do, it's time to make her comfortable. No more tests, because there's no more treatments. Ugh. We don't like medical tests, but when DRs say there is no point in an MRI, or a CT scan, or another evaluation, wow, that's a scary situation. So I'll be working with my step-father to arrange for the hospice for Mom. I'm all for hospice but of course sad for the need. Thanks to the internet, I can do a lot of the homework on line. So, if you don't see me for a while, this is why. I'm sorry I can't keep up with some of the lives I was following, like Danita and Poppy, and ALL of you, but I will be back ASAP. Love and Light, Lynn
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#188348 - 08/15/09 05:28 PM
Re: What an ordeal
[Re: Princess Lenora]
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Founder
Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
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Lynn, I remember the day the hospice nurse came to the house and Mom decided it was time to say "no" to more medical treatment. It hit all of us hard because that's when we realized the end was near. Please know that it's a mixed blessing because you now have her end time to affirm her life and help her prepare to leave all her loved ones. There are reasons for all these stages even though they seem brutal at times. I'm sure you'll do what's best. Remember to take time for yourself. Great book: Final Gifts. I highly recommend it. http://www.amazon.com/Final-Gifts-Unders...1666&sr=8-1
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#188362 - 08/15/09 10:09 PM
Re: What an ordeal
[Re: Princess Lenora]
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Registered: 08/06/09
Posts: 42
Loc: North of Dallas, TX
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I can't and won't take care of my step-father. When he and I were alone in the kitchen, he said aloud, "Who will take care of me when I'm old?" and I could not did not say a word. Wouldn't it be an instinctual reaction to say to your step-f of 50 years, "Oh, don't worry dad, I'll take care of you." He's already 76. I gave him all that I had in my lifetime, and I am just getting myself back. Got nothing left for him. I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way about a parent, or parental figure? My step-mom will be taken care of by her boys (my step-brothers). I did my time taking care of my mother. My step-mom and her oldest son (50ish) took care of my dad the last few months of his life. I just can not see taking care of another parent. The time I took care of my mom was far too stressful.
_________________________
Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the bullshit, take chances, & never have regrets, because at one point, everything you did was exactly what you wanted.
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