Got the call today. The senior home finally has a vacant room.
Thank God for my two sons and my Hubby to help move everything. I got to sort out mom's clothes from a 12 door closet to a two door one. OMG...that is the most stressfull part. And from now on, mom won't be driving anymore. What a relief. I just hope and pray she will meet some nice people at the home, who are at her level, and not in progressive demented stages. That is my biggest worry.

My heart goes out to you, Edelweiss. Please keep in mind all this day that this is day ONE. Adjustment will take time on your Mom's part and most definitely on yours. She is safe now. That is the most important thing. I'll be interested in hearing a report of sorts as the first days go by. Is she a social person by nature?

Thanks Ladyjane.

Honestly, I'm sitting here right now hating myself, because I got so impatient and angry at my mom today. I once mentioned that she has an addiction to junk mail. It is completely out of control. Her entire apartment is filled from top to bottom with boxes of mail, covered with her own comments. She promised me when she moves, that she will stop. Instead she has written these scam criminals and has given them her new address !!

I’m sure this is a sign of dementia. It's just that she is so normal with every other daily things. It's so hard to understand. She insists on continuing with this stuff.

Hubby says, - just let her do what she wants to do. I suppose he's right. It's just that her new room is small...just room for a bed and a couple of furniture pieces. Yes, Jane, my mom is social, but withdraws more and more because she needs the time to work on her mail. She attacks this stuff, as if her life depended on it. It is burdensome, but she can’t stop. And when I tell her to just simply stop, she hyperventilates and acts like she's about to get a heart attack.

Oh gosh...I just had to vent. Thanks for listening to this boring story.:(

Edelweiss,
It sounds like your Mom has a case of OCD with her mail.
It has been shown that the eldery react well to antidepressents. Has she ever tried one? If she tried an SSRI, it might cause her thinking to be more "sane," and she may see things a bit clearer.
I heard of this study at the hospital and ran it by my closest friend, a doctor of note. He said that many people should consider and antidepressent for thier parents when they are at this eldery stage where thier minds are going just a bit. It also can keep them calmer and help them think.

Just a thought.

This sounds very hard for you and I went through it very young when losing my mother. I remember the guilt, fear and all the feelings of hopelessness.

Please continue to post as you undertake this hard, hard situation.

She IS safe now, this is true. That is the most important thing. Now it's about making her as comfortable as possible.

Good luck and many of us are there for you.

Dancer

EW, would it help deal with the hoarding if you mentioned to your Mom that the home has rules about storage i.e. precautions because of fire hazards?

Oh my Gosh, Dancer, I read your post, and thought, why haven’t I thought of this myself?! Of course, it makes sense. Maybe my mother isn’t losing it; maybe she is suffering under OCD.
Tomorrow morning I will try to get a doctor’s appointment, and ask him to prescribe anti depressants. I hope you’re theory is right, because then she can be possibly helped. Thank you so much for this informative thought.

Lola,…my mother would got to the top authority at the senior home, and ask him if that was really a rule. She is still too clever, for me to be sneaky.

I feel so much better now. I think Dancer is onto something.

Edelweiss, one thing you can do is change your mothers adress to a P.O Box, if you don't want your own address involced, and you pick up her mail giving her only the items she needs, NOT wants...That will end your hording and possible dangerous situation from identity thieves... Also don't tell her the less she knows about it the better, and it is for her own good.

sounds like great advice, chatty.

Chatty, if I could; I would do that, but inorder to be allowed to do that, I have to get my Mom officially claimed as mentally unstable. That she isn't,...she just has this junk mail problem.
I have an apointment at the doctor tomorrow morning. Hopefully he can help her.

Edelweiss does your postal service scrutanize who is changing an address and why? Just get a change of address card and DO IT! You aren't committing a crime and she is your mother whom you care for. After all she is moving to a care facilitry is she not?
Maybe I am not understanding this situation completely.

I am glad that you found an opening, Edelweiss. I, too, hope that she will meet others who are able to think and talk and fun to be around, for her.

By the way, I am also glad that you intend to get your mom some medicine to deal with the obsessive parts of her personality. I have a touch of it myself, and would wish for a gentle approach to my mental health.

The doctor gave me the anti depressants for Mom today. Boy hope this works. If she starts to throw out the mail herself, then I will fall on my knees and thank the medical industry.

Anno, have you tried any kind of medication to help you?

Anne, you are most likely right about my Mom being mentally unstable. I think I try to see the half full glass than the half empty…

Chatty, I will have a talk at the senior facility about my mother’s mail. Maybe they are willing to arrange some mail detour.

I hope things go well with your mother and heartily agree with the suggestion to intercept your mother's junk mail if need be. For one thing, it's a serious fire hazard and likely won't be tolerated. For another, there's no need to add to your mother's stress if she truly can't manage the paper. Don't feel guilty: whatever you do to keep your mother safe is a good thing. My own MIL is mentally ill; we had a terrible time getting guardianship over her and getting her settled into a home, but in the long run it was worth it. Her money is protected and she is safe.

Edelweiss,
I'm glad you got the ADs. Yes, AD's can alter OCD behavior with regards to ANY OCD action. It also has been shown to help dementia a bit as well.
Once she is on the AD, after about two weeks, she will communicate better and can be talked to about her hoarding and other OCD behaviors.
OCD is a SYMPTOM of a myraid of other illnesses of the mind. Usually it is depression or trauma. The symptom of OCD can be controlled, also, with an anti psychotic. I've seen it control OCD with very, very low doses of anti psychotics. I think you are on the right path with the med's, Edelweiss!
Also: Keep in mind that medications can be switched until she has the right one. If this one does not control some of her urges, just tell the doctor and he can try another. Again, at times it is an anti psychotic that controls this symptom.
OCD is a symptom as are other coping stratagies the mind has to block out the real illness. Is she likely depressed?
If she is healthy bodily, she needs to be looked into as far as psyche meds to level her thinking and help her to be happy. Remember, Edelweiss, she cannot help her OCD or depression, etc, it is a disease and there is medication for it. It's not uncommon and I run into a LOT of patients of her age on psyche meds.
There is a back lash about taking psyche meds that some people have, they think that means people are "crazy," or "out of control," but indeed, they are just sick and the SSRI AD's provide for more clear thinking.
Other coping skills besides OCD are all the "phobia's," and panic attacks, etc... Now panic is an illness unto itself though, called GAD, (Generalized Anxiety Disorder.)
Watch to see if she tries to replace her behavior after about two or three weeks and if so, to what. I suspect that if the dose is high enough and the AD is the right one, it will change her for the better straight off.
What AD did the doctor give you? Remember that she must take the med every day to have the effect that you and she need. Sometimes the elderly have issues with such medication.
There is a problem if your mother REFUSES medication, and many, such as myself, have mothers that do just that.
You say her mind is sound and that is great, she just needs a bit of stirring up in the serotonin way and she may be just fine.
Please keep me informed, there are other things to try before you try control.

Best to you, Edelweiss,

Dancer

Thanks Ellmann. That statement about not feeling guilty, made me feel better. I have caught myself getting impatient with her. I hate that, because I love her dearly. Patience is truly a virtue, and I have to learn to count to ten more often before I respond to her irrational ways.

And it’s true, Dancer. I have to see my mother’s behaviour as a sickness. That helps me deal with it. I don’t know what the medication is called. I can check it out tomorrow if you are interested. She has to take it a week, and then the doctor will decide if she should change it.
I can’t thank you enough for your valuable information. Hopefully this will make a big wonderful turn in our lives, and if not; at least we tried.

Hugs to all my friends!!!!!!

Edelweiss, you are a wonderful person and I'm happy I could help in any way. You are doing something and more than many children do for their parents. I admire your devotion. Make sure you do things for yourself as well when caring for a parent! It's too easy to forget our own needs when it comes to a sick parent. I've seen it in the hospital when people come in with their parents to the E.R.. They are tired and emotional and have been care-taking so long it's the only thing they think about.

It's important to think of you, the next generation, you are very, very important too!

Dancer

We had our three year old granddaughter with us for four days. Tomorrow she goes back to her parents.

We also partially moved my mother to the senior home this weekend, while sweet “A” entertained the whole residential wing. She rolled her little red ball along the wide halls, smiled at each and every resident that crossed her way, and got the whole staff pampering and playing with her.

The weekend was full of contrasts; observing the joy of living diminishing in my mother’s eyes, and literally feeling the exuberance and fascination of life through my grandchild’s eyes.

The process of living; - the way it enters and leaves makes so much sense. That last stage, where we become weary, apathetically waiting for death to happen, comes on silently padded feet. It’s all a game, and we are the figures on life’s board.

Every day where we are healthy and still feel the excitement of life’s challenges is a gift. I’ve never been quite so aware of that as in the past weekend. I felt like a spectator between two stages.

Sorry, I just feel a bit melancholy. Thank you for your kind words Dancer. And you are right,..I would love to just get away for a while and tank up.

I can only imagine how bitter and sweet the last few days have been for you.

I continue to hold you very close in my heart, Edelweiss. You are a gem of the rarest and shine bright.

My prayers are with you and your mother too. I can't even imagine being taken from my home and put somewhere else. But as you said, it is life, we will all probably have to come to grips with it one day. Ours isn't the generation that keeps the old ones at home with the family as they once did. I fully expect to be in a home of some sort myself because my children aren't of a mind to keep me around when unable to care for myself. I don't blame them and understsnd fully. Plus things have a way of working out, hopefully your mom will find friends there she will be able to relate to and enjoy the friendship of. You are all in my prayers.

It's probably a great idea whenever A visits you Edelweiss, to drop by to see her Great-Oma. I'm sure the residents would welcome her face again.

I know when my partner's brother brought along their 3-yr. old daughter along, it was a delight for the grandmother at nursing home.

EW, how is your mother transitioning? Will the new home have activities to mentally stimulate the residents? Praying she finds a companion to hang out with.

EW, I've been reading but haven't responded because I don't know where to start.

Please feel good about moving your mom to this facility. It's what's best for her at this stage, and it's better for her to go and make friends while she's still with it.

As far as her belongings are concerned, take only what she needs, and then give yourself time to go through everything in her home. Pace yourself. It all doesn't have to be done yesterday.

As far as being honest with elderly loved ones goes, we've been told about "therapeutic lying" by an eldercare specialist. That's when it's really in the best interest of the elderly to bend the truth a bit for their sake.

A perfect example is breaking tough news to them and telling them it's doctors orders. Or saying that the place they're staying in is taken care of by insurance even if it isn't because if they knew what they were paying, they'd worry more about how long they'll live and if they'll outlive their money, etc. The lying is to protect them from fretting.

Children are great visitors for these places. Take A whenever you can and she'll brighten up everyone's lives. Also, take dogs. The residents love seeing them. Do you play a musical instrument? That's another thing they love, listening to and singing the old songs.

How's Mom adjusting?

Be prepared for her to be a bit worse when she enters because she's giving up her freedom by being there. She'll eventually settle into thier routines, meet new friends and then realize how much richer her life is due to the relationships she's making. Everyone is pretty much in the same boat so they have a lot to connect about.

I look forward to hearing how she's doing. Also wondering ig the AD is working.

My FIL went on an AD (he has Alzheimer's) and it made him so much worse so don't expect miracles. I know it works beautifully in some, but it definitely landed him in the hospital. Look for behavior changes and hopefully they will be for the best and not the worst. Don't mean to be doom and gloom about the AD. Just wanted you to know that it didn't work for him.

Dotsie thank you for your long post.

Today was THE day. My mother’s first night in the senior home.

I thought several times about what you wrote, Dotsie on “therapeutic lying.” And used it at a record breaking rate this morning,…especially when I told my Mom we will load all the cartons of mail and bring them to her this week. (cringe)…good thing her short term memory isn’t what it used to be.

She took the AD only one day, and claims she got diaharea from it. I haven’t had a chance to read the side effects. I also plan to visit her doctor and see if he can make me custodian for her mail. I appreciate you letting me know the medication doesn’t always work. I’m afraid my mother is taking a rapid down spin. I am SO happy she’s in the senior home now.

The staff is just wonderful. I felt like hugging all of them. For me it’s like an extended family helping out as well as they can.

MustangGal, they offer a variety of extra activities; about 4 every day,…from newspaper reading and discussions to gymnastics, singing, and bus excursions. It is so nice there, that I told my sons, when my time comes that’s where I would want to be.

How is my mother trasitioning? She is glad that her life will be easier,..but she doesn’t like me very much right now. I have been strict about her mail. I’m afraid she is looking at me as if I were her enemy. I suppose demence has begun. But my relief to know that she is safe is bigger than anything.

Thank you everyone for asking, your prayers, 'chatty, and just caring.

My very best to you, Edelweiss. I know that this past year has been up and down and down and up. And yet you stay upbeat and you are here for everyone else. Bless you, my friend, you are a great example of love.

How is your mom doing now Edelweiss? Any changes in the mail situation?

Wondering the same.

We visit my FIL several times a week. It's become a big part of our lives. One of the beauties is getting to know all the other residents, and the employees.

EW, are you getting to know the others? Is Mom assimilating?

Dotsie and Chatty, thanks for asking.

We are still in the last throws of moving. This morning I emptied another clothes closet.

My first impressions are heart breaking. I think 99% of the residents suffer under some kind of dementia. At the introduction meeting, the authorities told me about 30% are at my mother’s level. It’s just not true.

That is the toughest revelation, and is literally gnawing away at my conscience. Did I move my Mom too soon? Will she be even lonelier than before?

I now feel like I need to visit her more than before. She is actually being a great trooper about this, and realizes I am worried sick about it. She's been comforting me. Ha! Isn't That the joke of the year?

I will be checking the senior clubs in the city, and hope they can offer some activities for my mother. They do have lots of activities at the home she’s in…but everybody around her falls asleep with open mouths. Oh dear God.

Edelweiss, hope you help your mom find some regular activities that pique her interest. And hopefully she will be buddies with at least 1 resident there who is still alert.

My partner's mom did have 2 friends who befriended her. The friends had minor dementia. His mom's dementia did progress but it helps alot to have a friend to pass the time well. Her bed was adjacent to another resident who herself immigrated to Canada from the Netherlands just after the war. Which was a perfect fit given similar time that his mom immigrated to Canada. So enough for the women to share with one another. The friend also had a son who faithfully visited his mother just like my partner faithfully visited his mom.

The good thing about the facility where she was before she died last year, was that if a resident didn't feel like sleeping for awhile at night, they were allowed to hang out near the nursing station in the wheelchair.

My partner tried to visit his mother at least 3-4 times per wk.

Where waiting to have a "room at the inn" was the norm, would it have helped under any and all circumstances to have made the decision much later, EW?

That someone would be around for your Mom 24/7 is a thought you must try to find comfort for your peace of mind, my friend. I understand fully well how it must be troubling to see other residents in the home who are much more feeble than your Mom. But try to look at it from a different angle. Are they cared for well? If they are, then your Mom would already be in good stead for whatever the future holds for her. Another way to treat your Mom's circumstances now would also be to think that she just moved to smaller accommodations. Much in the same way that one downsized.

Lola, I am sending you a BIG hug. You said just the right things. I knew them, but needed to ' hear' them. Now, like Orchid suggested, I just have to make sure Mom finds a social life outside of those walls. She has a single room, so at least she can withdraw to 'normality' there.
Don't know why I feel so weepy. Your posts got under my skin. It's also a double burden that I can't talk to my husband about my feelings. He's not interested and gets even impatient with me.
I'm so thankfull I have you gals as friends.
love and hugs
Edelweiss

It's natural to feel weepy, EW. She's your Mom. Allow yourself a good cry if it helps. Surrogate sisters. That's what we all are to you and one of us will always be around to bounce off emotions and together with everything else that comes with it. So...chin up, pull those shoulders back and smile. All will be well.

I took some pictures of my mother in her new senior home today. I made a little video to send to my brother. Here is a copy, if anyone is interested. The home, only 2 years old, is in a beautiful location, nestled between a lovely town, Landsberg, and a wide crystal river.
Still, - if I could, I would have preferred having my mother live with me; - but I suppose, and I say this with a heavy heart, in the long run, it is best this way.
Mom in her new home

EW I really enjoyed your video of Mom. She looks really happy. You are a beautiful daughter.

Edelweiss, it looks like a very nice place. Hoiw did you manage to get a video with no one else around? Looks like she's all alone there. I love the terrace overlooking the water, very peaceful. How are things with you and hubby since mother is not under foot anymore?

Thanks Chick. It isn’t hard being a good daughter to my mother.

You’re right Chatty, the place looks pretty empty, but there aren’t any vacancies. I guess most of the residents stay in their rooms. I don’t know.

Funny you should ask how things are with hubby. I wish I could say better. But it isn’t the case. He was an incredible help what the moving goes,…but moral support is negative. We just got in each others hair yesterday because I went to visit my mother instead of golfing with him. Golfing in March? It’s freezing here! He never asks how my mother is doing or cares. He just plain and simply doesn’t like her in our lives. But I plod on alone, and won’t allow him to influence me.

EW, your mom is such a striking woman. I see where you get your beautiful smile. This new home looks very nice, so clean, and I can tell you from my own experience with "home," be happy, hon. If mom can meet some of the other residents and strike up a friendship, kinship, or the such, she will be happy there, I'm betting.

Looking at her sweet face, I cannot imagine anyone not wanting to know her better, not wanting to care about her. Mind if I kick hubby in the butt? Whatttt? Did I just say that out loud? Whoops.

Edelweiss,
Your mom looks like she can be happy there. It is clean and open and I think it's a fine place you chose. You are such a good daughter so don't worry about what you are doing, you are doing the very best you can for your mom.

I've seen so many children of the elderly just abandon them, what you are doing is beautiful and everyone can learn from you.

I hope she has calmed and settled down and I hope her mail habit is a bit under control.

I'm sorry if her mind is slipping a bit, I know that must be very, very hard for you but again, you are being such a wonderful daughter that one could ask for nothing more.

Your husband I don't understand. Why sort of selfishness is he sporting on this subject??

And yes, golfing in March is a bit, well, thick.

Warmest, warmest regards,
Dancer

Thank you soooooooooooo much for sharing a video of your Mom in her new home, EW. I won't have to worry about her as much now. Yep, one does get concerned, even from London. She looks so fine and I am glad it's a facility with a Chapel. The home is huge. How many residents do they have there? Is the food to your Mom's liking?

EW, the place looks lovely. And when I first saw your mom, I could see that you resemble her. Your facial features from a distance are exactly the same. She looks very peaceful and beautiful.

I'm sure that in time she will make friends with other residents. Does she eat meals with others? That's how my FIL has gotten to know other residents. Do they have daily activities? That's another way we've gotten him to interact.

In a few short months, it has become his home, where he is now comfortable with his surroundings. We are certain of this because we've taken him out to dinner or lunch, and during the meal he's gotten anxious about getting back, wanting to know who's going to take him and how he's going to get in because he doesn't have a key. Remember, he has Alzheimer's so is often fairly with it and at other times is very confused. We realized he's accepted it as his home when we took him out and he wanted to go there instead of his house. Still heartbreaking because we'd love him to have been able to stay in his home forever.

Does your mom keep her door open when she's home? We've noticed that when my FIL does so, people are in and out of his room all the time. It's like a college dorm. But the ones who keep their doors closed have no visitors.

You mention visiting her more now. We do the same. We'd visit him once a week before. Now we see him about four or five times a week. Not sure how long we can keep this up because I also help with my dad (taking him dinner tonight). I always remember peple saying that when you were finished with the bulk of your children's care, you moved on to taking care of your parents. Boy has that been true in our case.

I'm pryaing your husband's heart will soften towards your mother's care.

JJ, your post made me laugh out loud, your humour is a balsam for the soul.

Dancer, the nurses are wonderful. We found a great solution with her mail. They are holding back all packages, and little by little are filtering the mail out for me. This is a perfect way out, and especially because I can avoid a nasty court order.

My husband? I don’t understand him either. He is such a devoted father and grandfather. It doesn’t make sense that he is literally down right malicious what my mother is concerned. I can only explain it as sick jealousy. My mother has never done him wrong; just the contrary. We are planning to go on a vacation together this summer, ( just the two of us). He doesn’t know it, but this vacation for me, is a deciding factor as to how our future will be.

Anne327, Alzheimer caretakers are angels in my eyes. I often think of you when visiting my Mom, and seeing the residents there. You might be right about my husband’s reaction; fear of old age. But frankly, I don’t care what his reason is; this is about standing by me too.

Lola, you are so welcome. Gosh, have I told you ladies I love you, lately? They have 200 residents there. And yes, my mother really likes the food; twice a week they even serve beer with their meals. She loves that.

Dotsie how far away is your FIL? 4-5 times / week. Wow. I can’t even manage that. I try at least 3 times /week. Lately we are invited to different birthday parties every weekend, and I’m so happy that many invite Mom too. You are doing double time with your dad and FIL? I hope you can go on those short vacations more often, because, dear Dotsie, you must need and deserve them! Thank you my friend for your prayers. If they do manage to soften my husband’s heart, I would be the happiest lady in Germany.

EW, one of the beauties of my FIL's residence is that it's only maybe five minutes from our home. We are so grateful for that. And we beleive it's THE best place for him. They only have 60 residents, but it's an Alzheimer's residence only. SInce FIL is in the hospital this week, we actually have talked about missing some of the other residents because we've gotten to know them so well. We even have nicknames for some of them. They're so rpedictable. Well maybe not. They seem to always be doing the same tihng when we go. THere ar e a ew that stroll the halls, soem who always sit in the main rec room, others who are alwasy in their rooms with the doors shut, and one funny guy whose jeans and bare feet are the only thing we see of him as we walk by his room. He's always in bed watching TV. Anyway, he's Mr. Feet. I may run by there tonight to see how they are and tell them how my FIL's doing. I also have an aunt there who has moved in since my FIL. The funny thing is that she is on his same hall and is one of the four people he dines with at every meal. How wild is that? It's my deceased god-father's wife, Mom's SIL. My uncle is deceased and she has dementia so I get to see her whenever I visit my FIL. Wild, huh?

EW, the parties are outside of the home, right? Does she like getting out? One of the things they do where my FIL lives is have birthday parties for the residents; another way for them to gather.

Thinking of you as I trek back and forth knowing you're doing the same.

Having your FIL just 5 minutes away, is an ideal situation, Dotsie.. There is a senior home closer to us…but yuck….no way. I have to drive about 20 minutes. It’s not that bad.

The birthday parties are all within our family. February and March are the birthday months. All grandchildren, children, uncles, aunts and parents celebrate their B- days during this time. And each time they invite my mother too!

Yes, Dotsie, it is comforting to know we are living similar lives right now. I had to smile at your imagery; “Mr. Feet”,…but that is fairly harmless. We have a Miss Lama’…She opens her sweater and spits into it. … I can’t really laugh about that. It’s all terribly sad.

I pray every day that they find a cure for Alzheimer. In my book, it is the most terrifying illness there is.

EW, love Miss Lama's name. So you're naming the residents too?

Have you read the book The 36 Hour Day? If not - Google it. It's a wonderful book about the disease. Let me know what you think. I highlighted half the book when I read it. Also, The Everything Alzheimer's Book is another good one.

Would agree Edelweiss that time with your mother becomes more precious.

I'm not sure about your hubby, if he's the sort of person who just likes to have his loved one around him often to make him happy. Or maybe it's been a recent development for him in past few years.

Thanks for the book suggestions, Dotsie. I wil check them out.

Mom is terribly depressed, I guess thats 'normal' too. I am a bit ticked off at the doctor. I spoke to her about my mother's depressions and some other problems (2 weeks ago), and she still hasn't come around to see her. I will give the doctor a call tomorrow. This is not starting off good.

Orchid, yes, Hubby wants me by his side to make him happy. He is always welcome to accompany me when I do little trips with my mother or visit...but he refuses to. So, it's not my problem; - it's his.

IS this the new doctor at her home? If so, they aren't making a good first impression.

Depression is such a tricky thing to medicate in the elderly. Is the doctor treating her an eldercare doctor because I've heard that certain anti-depressants aren't good for the elderly. Now if I couls only remember which ones. If you wnat me to find out, I will. I have a friend who has an eldercare business and she could tell me. She lives this stuff day in and day out, and has also lived it as a caregiver.

EW, if you have any specific questions, let me know. I'll call her.

Thank you so much for your offer, Dotsie. I really appreciate it. Since my mother takes quite abit of other medication, I think it is best if the doctor here decides what is compatible.

I'll take a couple of deep breaths and call the lady tomorrow.

Edelweiss, I am so sorry that I have not responded to this. I am, however, happy that you have so much support here, as always.

Who knows what goes through the minds of men. They compartmentalize so much better than women do. Maybe that is all that his actions are about - concentrating on only one thing at a time.

I hate watching someone suffer from depression, especially when that person already is suffering from another disease. With the drugs that are available these days, your mom should not have to be depressed.

Stay strong, my friend. And take good care of yourself. I know, easier said than done, but please be sure and be kind to yourself.

Oh EW...depression in the elderly is so common, and also ones with AZ. Please do talk with the doc as there is no excuse to let her suffer. However, I will echo what Dotsie said in that dementia patients cannot be given just any old depression drug...it can have an adverse affect on them. Just FYI...

Anno, sweety, don’t you ever apologize for not responding. I know many posts get read, and many just don’t have the time or words to reply. And you, my friend have enough on your hands.

Maybe you are right, to a certain extent, that it is a male thing. Most visitors at the senior home seem to be women. But when I think how my father cared for his mother; well, there are exceptions.

Friday I am taking my mother to the doctor’s office and will speak to her myself. If she still doesn’t give my mother anything for the depressions then maybe it is because of what JJ and Dotsie have said. We’ll see.

If she does not give your mother anything for her depression, ask why. Ask her what the alternatives for depression are for your mom. My mother has alz, too, and she is taking a med that is working quite nicely for her. She, however, takes few other drugs at this time.

My dad was always good to his mother too, but not so much his MIL. He was never, ever cruel or neglectful, but just not as loving and caring as he was for his own mother. It seems to me that as a woman, we are more likely to love equally - blood or not.

EW, regarding your mother's depression. Consider what she's been through lately and try to put yourself in her shoes. I'm sure you have, but thought I'd mention a few things.

First, she had to get rid of most of her stuff, downsize, leave her lovely home, neighborhood, familiar surroundings, comfort zone, INDEPENDENCE, plus so much more. Then she has to adjust to all that is new. Throughout this, I'm sure she knows this is a final step of sorts. Wow, they can be pretty depressing.

I'm praying she becomes better adjusted and comfy in her new surroundings, makes new friends, befriends the people who work there, and feels her spirits lift a bit.

Anxious to hear about the doctor visit.

Medicine can make or break an elderly person. My loved one is currently in the hospital after acting out at the Alzheimer's residence. They stripped him of his meds, except for the Alzheimer medicine, and began re-introducing medications again. His mood seemed to level out and we were hopeful he'd get back to his residence soon. Then yesterday, they were trying, without success, to draw blood. Apparently it was a scene of frustration on everyone's part and he ended up kicking the phlebotamist. Kicking? He's never kicked a soul in his life. Well that's not true. He kicked Ross when he was in the hospital the last time for medicine evaluation. They'd introduced an anti-depressant and it totally freaked him out. He was hallucinating. Poor thing. But other than when medicated, he's never kicked a soul. He isn't a violent man, never was. I'm telling you, medication in the elderly is tricky. So we're back to the drawing board, beginning again with other medication, once this medication is out of his system.

Isn't this sad? Most of the time, he's confused already. It's like you never know who you're going to see when you visit each time. It's heartbreaking.

EW, just keep this in mind when Mom changes or adds medication. That's why I share.

Once a general MD gave dad (who had dementia) the wrong meds which CLEARLY said on his chart, DO NOT GIVE...anyway, daddy laid on his back and rode an imaginary bicycle for two days straight. I kid you not. I was worn out watching him. He would wear out, take a fifteen minute nap, then up came the legs and she would begin traveling once again. There is no telling how many miles he made in that two day period.

Meds CAN affect the elderly and especially when they have dementia of any kind.

Thanks for sharing. I'm glad someone understands the behavioral changes meds can have in the elderly.

JJ, and there was no telling him any differently, was there?

Honestly, they are totally out of their minds at times.

If my mother should do something like your Dad did, I'll ask if I can take the same meds.

Anne, I think of you being alone with these patients who are heavily medicated. Please be smart. I wouldn't want soemone to hurt you.

EW, your comment had me laughing.

Don't you all just hate to think of this happening to us as we age? It boggles the mind how fragile we can actually become both physically and mentally for no reason whatsoever.

Don't you think, Chatty, that this is what scares us the most? Seeing ourselves like this?

We are getting older. We all will die. And for most of us, that fate is simply unacceptable. Or at the very least, not for many, many years to come.

Anne, and I imagine she will continue to get worse. How sad is that?

chatty, absolutely. I can't even imagine having my car keys taken away, and that doesn't have a whole lot to do with health. Heaven help us.

Nobody gets out alive.

Ann, you have to be a psychiatrist to figure all of this out. No more questions. Just prayers.

Went to court today with my mom. After an hour and a half they appointed me as the official State care taker for her. OMG, that was all ready clear after the first 3 minutes…but they seem to need to fill their time.

My mother was sweet, admiring the judge’s tie,…and I could bring across the urgency of getting the official certificate. Now I’m able to cancel all the zillions of orders my mother has made around the world. Next step is to the bank, and letting them know that all future transactions go only through me.

Whew.. I feel like breaking out the champagne.

The authorities were more then careful not to overstep their rights and take too much control. My mother had three different psychiatrists and a caretaker represent her side of the story. Although it was more than obvious she needs help and a guiding hand, it was comforting to know that such cases are treated thoroughly and with great respect for the person in question.

There is a lesson in here somewhere; and that is be prepared for your old age as well as you can. If my mother didn’t have me, she would have ended up as a messy, half buried in her scam mail, without a penny to her name. It’s so important to prepare and get information on how to seek help, especially if you have no family member there for you.

A respectful process, that is a testament to your country.

So will you act upon the lesson learned?

Anno, although, I have two sons, I will prepare for my old age as if I didn't have anyone. The key is money, I know. But if you don't have enough to go to a decent senior home, then as long as you are of sound mind and body, you should inquire what to do in such a situation; - even if it means moving to a part of your country, where your dollar can go alot further.

I know easier said than done...and who wants to think of that anyway. It's just that the last few months have been all encompassing what my mother is concerned. It's alot of running around, and inquiring about what benefits you can get. You have been doing alot of that for Dennis, so I'm sure you know what I mean.

Absolutely agree with all this, EW.
I'm so glad that you are able to help your mother from being ripped off by becoming her power of attorney. My partner managed his mother's financial affairs directly until her death...not that she had much in last few years. There were some strange scam phone calls that came through that indicated the callers were targetting this dementia woman.

As for taking away your keys, meaning car keys....folks it's not so bad if you start reducing your driving and rethink about transportation options/combining trips. And I say this, to women who no longer have the daily demands of young children/babies. One simply has to plan properly in the future to choose to live in a home near services...better to change lifestyle now..slowly..and at your lifestyel pacing, not when drastic measures are forced upon you when you are truly weak.

EW and orchid, all good points, and ones I've been thinking about lately due to FIL and own dad.

Dad and I were talking about a distant relative moving into a retirement home. They need close to 200,000. to move in, then there's a month fee. The fees are about 2 grand a month. Now this is a generation whose home mortgages were probably less than a thousand dollars. Don't you think they must all be shaking in their shoes? It's too expensive to grow old, at least in the states.

EW, I got a kick out of your mom commenting on the tie. What a hoot. I hope you can get all of her finances figured out. It's not an easy task. Ross has had to do it for his dad in recent years. It's a big responsibility, but I'm sure you're totally capable.

I hope she doesn't resent you for this. We have found that having regular financial statements to share with the loved ones is beneficial becasue they want to know their financial state of affairs, and I don't blame them.

In the Alzheimer's home, one of the hardest things for the men and women to give up are their wallets and purses. They just can't understand that they are no longer needed. It's very sad. Does your mom carry a purse around her community?

Taking away the wallet, I never thought of that Dotsie. My partner just told me now, that he "compromised" by simply having only $20.00 in her wallet by her bed.

You know, it would really bother me if someone took away my wallet. But I suppose at least I am comforted that I could assign with choice from several family members, to handle financial matters.

Dotsie, mom is fine with the decision. She recognizes the fact that she has lost control and needs help. She also stated to the doctor loud and clear that she trusts her daughter fully.

But then, today she called me almost panicky. I should come right over and write out a check so she can enter a lotto contest. I simply told her I‘ll do that tomorrow.
I have stopped trying to talk her out of it. It’s no use. At least she can’t write out any more checks herself, thank the judiciary system for that.

I opened an account at the senior home for my mother. She gets a monthly pocket money,
which she probably withdraws and sends the cash to scam artists. There is no way I can control that, but it is a sum she can afford to lose. And yes, my Mom is the little old lady with her pocketbook glued under her arm.

Your story about the sweet cuddly old lady warmed my heart. I think the sense of touch is as important as ever in old age. She recognized you as you are, Dotsie; a caring person.

Orchid, It’s good that you have thought about how to handle things in old age. You are so very fortunate to have sisters you can trust.

I just read this thread through, and welled up a bit. Really, this is like logging, and it truly helps to work things out.

Tomorrow I will tell my mother that she will get no more mail. I tried cancelling the spam jerks...but that was a joke. They probably never even read my mail or cared to see the copy of my care giver licence. Anyhow,...mom continues to correspond with them and send cash orders.

I have no idea how to break this news to her. She will be devastated. The mail will be sent to me, I can filter it out and bring her her private mail…so it’s not like she won’t get any. But you have to picture this;

…My mother waiting every morning for the mail to come. She collects her 30 – 40 letters daily, dumps them on her table, files them with the present date, and opens one after the other filling our orders, crying with delight at the promised winnings, and stuffing her drawers, her bookshelves and cabinets with the mail she files away.

Cutting down the mail didn’t work. She found the piles, the nurses had put away…( yes, she saw them in their stationary office), and made a huge ugly scene. Their reaction was telling me to deal with it. It’s not their job to keep my mother’s mail back. Her mail issue is almost a daily issue at the senior home. She has become unpopular among the nurses. She is bitter, mistrusting, and plain old bitchy. This is not good. And it’s only detrimental for her in the long run if the staff can’t stand her. So I see no other choice than cutting off her mail…cold turkey…so to speak.

How in dickens will I break this news to her, without her falling into a deep end? By the way, the psychiatrists all said my mother doesn’t have Alzheimer’s. She has the normal demence for people her age,…but what she has is a mail addiction problem, which is as bad as an alcoholic or drug problem. She will get withdrawal systems. Isn’t this crazy?

Can anyone give me advice how to break this news to her? I really don’t know how to go about it. I would really appreciate any tips or advice.

Edelweiss, this is so sad, but I can totally relate. We've gotten some eldercare counseling and here's what I recommend.

There's something called therapeutic lying. Sounds pathetic, but it's been a bit helpful in certain areas. Basically what you do (because she does have some dementia) is make up a teeny lie about the mail. Can you tell her that the doctor said she can no longer receive it because it's not in her best interest to become involved with all this mail at her age? Or the nursing home no longer allows mail delivery to the place, that it must come to your home first, then maybe give her a few pieces a week that could come to your home? Something along those lines? We've been told to blame certain situations on the doctor, even if it isn't exactly true, or the staff at the care facility. Do you think that would work?

We had to get the mail sent to our home, which was very sad because getting the paper and mail were daily highlights.

You are so right about wanting the staff to like her. I hope you can turn this around for her.

Watching the elderly age is pitiful. We were visiting my loved one last night. As I've shared, we've made some friends with the residents. I've taken a liking to one woman in particular who lives in the unit next to my FIL. She reminds me of Mom in a way because she was a stay at home mom and raised four kids (Mom raised five). Her husband worked with my dad ages ago which is coincidental.

Anyway, when I went in last night, she began telling me off. She was asking me why I treat her the way I do; roughing her up, pushing her around, talking to her in such a mean voice, etc. She was angry and getting loud. I'd never seen her that way. Ross and I were trying to calm her down, telling her I hadn't even been there, we didn't know what she was talking about, etc. It was awful. I felt attacked even though I know she couldn't help herself.

One of the staff came over and redirected her to her room. She went to her room momentarily, then came back out, sorta recognized me, then began telling me how the staff has been beating her up, smacking her, and pushing her in her room. I know that none of this is true. They may get short with the residents every now and then, but they are never forceful in any way.

These poor elderly people have lost their minds, literally.

Next, a lady whom we often joke around with, walked by us stone-faced, didn't even acknowledge us, went to the door and tried to get out, setting off the alarm.

After we left our loved one, we went out on the parking lot and were talking with my brother-in-law when the nurse came out to get us because our loved one dropped to the floor and they wanted our help. Honestly, we were a wreck when we left there last night. He was absolutely fine. He does this thing where he sorta slowly and gently slithers downt to the floor, never hurting himself, but then won't get up. God only knows what's going through his mind.

I'll be thinking of you delivering this news to your mom. But I recommend taking the blame off yourself. We've been told it's absolutely okay to do this. Please let me know how it goes.

Dotsie thank you so much for giving me your excellent advice. I have taken it to heart, and will tell my mother, that the court ordered psychiatrist suggested that I take over her mail.

I also hope to distract her immediately by planning a trip with her for an overnight at a lovely lake. I already asked Hubby if he would like to come along. Hahaha…oh well, at least I asked. I was also thinking of giving the nurses a huge box of chocolates. My brother suggested a pack of chewing gum…heee heee…(that’s typical my brother).

Oh dear, I can imagine how shocking that must have been to be told off from a lady; - not knowing why, and who even reminds you of your mother. I’m sure that can get under the skin, and that, - despite all the logical thinking in the world. That’s what all this comes down too. Nothing is logical in these people’s minds. I know you have such a good giving heart, Dotsie,…but preserve your strength just for your loved one. You see what comes out of your kindness with people who have the ‘missing porcelain syndrome’? They just don’t have all their ‘cups in their cabinet’.

Someone who does not want to get up off the floor seems like he’s cemented to it. I experienced that once when my mother had a mild stroke. It was as if she weighed a ton. I’m surprised the nurses asked for your help. What if you weren’t there?

Your support has lifted me. Thank you again, my friend.

Mom took the news better than I thought. Probably because she has terrible athritis pain today, and couldn't care less about anything else.
I told her when she's up to it, we will go on a trip together. That seemed to comfort her, and will give her a reason to study magazines for ideas on what and where we can go.
I'm so glad this is behind me. And I am so glad I am cutting off her mail now and forever. Whew.

Glad for you that you deal in peace, with mail scamsters on behalf for your mother.

Which area do you want to take her on a trip?

Just a thought Edelweiss.
imagine if someone cut you off from internet..removed the place that even bws fills.That indeed is what the mail will represent for you Mother.
Staff often have limited training..those at the top do..often in business and money making.
Replacing the area that the mail meant means being creative...postcards...sent from wherever you or your brother are..something tangible that she can hold...pen friends...even one who dialogues about whatever interests your Mother from her past...
fan clubs...writing to the newspapers.magazine subscriptions..talking books
having a student take notes for a memoir...she needs a reason..a reason that was tapped into by the mailshots..
I'd send a card from here regularly .
Staff are fickle...whatever you see at first often is uncovered just like any group..but there is life after...lets just find what it is for your Mother.

MA, I quote:
That is exactly the reason why it has taken so long for me to do this to my mother. I feel horrible about it, but sorry to say had no choice. Her arms are covered with a horrible rash, which comes from some cheap skin scream that she ordered from China. She can’t stop ordering stuff, and has been sending cash to these scam artists. If I hadn’t put a stop to this, her rent money would be depleted.

Last night I gave her a call, and she sounded so happy. For the first time, she left her room in the evening and joined some other residents on the balcony. A grandson was visiting one of the ladies, and entertained the group with jokes and stories. She laughed and mingled…instead of crept behind her mountains of mail.

I’m so glad I did this.

I don’t think you can compare my visiting BWS with my mother’s mail scam addiction.

So sweet of you to offer to send my mother a card. Thank you MA. But since the mail is now redirected to me, I don’t think that is necessary. She also gets plenty of private mail, since she has many friends in Germany and the US.

There are so many activities offered in the home…and now she finally has the time to participate.

Orchid, I was thinking along the lilnes of taking a trip on a passenger ship on the Donau. We'll see what she comes up with.

My apologies if I said something out of turn... no harm was intended.

I know you didn't mean any harm, Mountain Ash. It's okay.

Edelweiss, great idea, yes, the court ordered psychiatrist would be a good answer. Have you broken the news to her yet?

When we aren't there, they manage. Several of them had to drag him to his room before because he wouldn't get up. It's so pathetic.

Oh, just read that you've told her. What a weight off your shoulders. I'm so glad that's behind you.

Mountain, I'd also send her a card. What a sweet idea. Very thoughtful.

I'm tickled to hear she's mingling. That's the best thye can do. I hope she begins to join in all the activities. I think it boosts their spirits when they are active and communicating with others.

Seven months! My mother has been living in the senior home all ready seven months!

How is your FIL doing, Dotsie?

During the seven months, my mother has been in the hospital 4 times. This last visit was because she got blood poisoning from an untreated corn on her foot. Can you believe it?
But now she is fine, and will be home tomorrow. Also her shingles are almost healed. The most drastic change is her increasing dementia. But I have finally come to terms with that.

The bitterness and sorrow, I’ve been feeling, as I watch my mother lose her independence and identity, has been replaced by acceptance. I need that to live my own life, sensing the loss, but at the same time realizing this is all a part of living. I have finally learned to care and love, while remaining independent.

EW, thanks for the update on your mom. I didn't realize she'd been to the hospital that many times since living there.

I could write a book on eldercare. Just got back from doctor visit with dad. It's all a matter of keeping medicines in balance at this stage of the game. I wonder if all this medicine is worth it...

Stay tuned to this forum for an update on my FIL.

Also, I'm going to post about this too, but I just read the book Still Alice within 24 hours. You must read it. It's about a woman who gets early onset Alzheimers. I have a feeling you'd love the read.

I too could write a book on eldercare. EW, I believe that we reach the acceptance phase once we move past the fear and emotions that helped us to block the reality of the situation.

Dare I say that emotional relief comes with it? Carrying around the burden of "what if" is so draining on our minds and hearts. Once we realize that it isn't important how, or even when, only then can we can fully move past that burden and know that it's only important we enjoy each moment with them, regardless.

It is the step we all have to take. It allows us to continue giving the best care possible, within our own limitations, to our loved one. Once you accept that "it is what it is," the care itself becomes more "normal" if that's a good description of it? You have accepted the disease, now whatever you can do, you do so without even thinking twice about the outcome.

I've said it before and I'll repeat myself...giving daddy and mother care was the greatest of honors! The greatest! Mom is still alive, thank you Lord, but daddy isn't. Still, I look back and think on it all. What a joy! If I had lived on in the daily fear of him dying, I would have missed an incredible journey.

I know I would be honored to care for my mom if need be. I have in the past but even though she is 89 she has more stamina than me and runs rings around us all. I have begged her literally on my kinees to come live here with me, she would be spoiled rotten but she won't leave her home of 89 years for anything. I can understand that and have to live with it as do my sisters who have also begged her to come to Colorado where they both live...

My mother is lying in bed with 104 fever. I was there yesterday afternoon, and gave the nurses my piece of mind. They had lined up about 5 different glasses for my mother to drink. She is so weak; she can’t even lift a finger. I asked the nurse if she thinks the liquid will enter my mother’s body through her pores! She then ran off and got a drinking cup for my mother, and held it to her lips. I took over, and my mother drank about three glasses at once. She was totally dehydrated. This should NOT happen! I’m going over today to have a talk with the head of the home. Also the window was wide open, it was freezing in the room, and her feet were icicles, despite her fever. I took off and bought my mother an electric blanket for her feet. I’m sure they would never refill her warm water bottles. I can’t believe this. And this place is so fancy…but what good does that do if they are so totally negligent! Last night one of the nurses called to report to me my mother’s temperature. With an uppity tone, she added, I have no need to worry they are taking care of my mother. Yeah, right…maybe now…because they know I will control!

There is an exhaustion in caring for a person in any care facility..hospital or elder care .It runs parrarel with the feelings of love and care.
We remember all the person did for us and become vigilant.There is no "taking for granted" the everyday we used to share.
Its tiring being on our toes watching to see if there care is good..
We can be lulled into the good days..acceptance..then another issue comes up and back into action.

When you say Dotsie that you could write a book that is how I feel also. I see many others starting out in their own journey to that stage of life...some get sad..some get angry.
I have come to believe that we gain from being the caregiver by doing all we can keeping in focus the whole person..the man/woman our loved one was and still is .
Living in the moment.doing all the small things..

Mountain Ash, you have an incredible talent of putting into words how one feels. Reading them, and knowing you understand is more comforting then you could ever know. I came home after spending 6 hours with my mother, and my husband didn’t even ask me how she is. So it was especially comforting for me to read your words.

I gave her liquids every ten minutes. I also sponge bathed her, changed her sweaty nightgown, threw on fresh sheets, without the hot filling. Every 10 minutes I laid a cool facecloth on her brow.

I held vigil, as I watched her breath. Many times I thought it was her last breath. But lo and behold, her fever broke. Her hands are so thin so very frail. I inherited her hands, and know that someday mine will look just the same.

Yes, her fever broke.

And now all I can do is pray, just pray that she is at peace, and even if it means the good Lord will take her.

Anne, I put a scare in those caretakers. The head nurse, who is the only official nurse, had the bitchiest attitude and a huge chip on her shoulder this morning. I couldn't believe it. Well, it takes quite a bit for me to really get furious, and this was such a case. I threatened to sue her and the whole home, if I ever should see the slightest case of negligence again. She tried to butt in, but I didn’t give her a breathing chance.

Then I asked a caretaker, who I’ve hired to visit my mom occasionally, to stop be sporadically to just see if my mother is getting the fluids, and is kept warm. Viola. Each time she went, there was a caretaker giving her a drink. Then when I arrived in the afternoon, there were two nurses with her. One was giving her a back rub, while the other one was cleaning off the bed table.

I was planning to camp out in her room if I hadn’t seen the staff do a round about change. Well, they were all overly polite to me, and couldn’t do enough. Actually I really should be consequential and sue, just for the sake for the other residents,…but frankly, I’m so drained. If I had support from siblings or my husband, then yes. But right now, I prefer spending my time with my mother, in maybe her last days, instead of sitting around in an attorney’s office. I wish you were here Anne.

In this case as the saying goes: The sqeakest wheel gets the grease. It's just a shame you have to resort to threats for these people to do their jobs the right way. You go girl, keep sqeaken...

I agree with Anne that you should keep notes, EW. Even if serves no legal purpose now, the fact that you keep a record of your Mom's care, and making it known that you are doing so, might just keep the staff and the home on their toes. Hope your Mom is better today.

EW, I can hear your exhaustion in your post. I know it's rough on us, but can you imagine being the elderly; your mother, my FIL? I can't. That's what is so upsetting. Due to your rant, your mother will now get the care everyone should be receiving all along. It's pitiful for the ones who don't have advocates like you. Bless your pissed off heart. They'll be bending over backwards to care for your mom now. Don't let up.

My FIL is also in an expensive care facility and the care is often questionable. Most of the time it's good, but there are exceptions. I was there Wednesday and thought his eyes looked red and gooey. Sure enough, Ross diagnosed him with conjunctivitis in both eyes and ordered drops four times a day. Why didn't they see that?

When we were there last night, Ross checked to see the medicine log book and sure enough, they hadn't given him his last dose. The gal said she wasn't use to giving him eye drops so she forgot. That's unacceptable in my opinion.

There he lays with a scar from the last fall which took place about six weeks ago, and a tremendous stiched forehead from a fall last week when he had to get 20 stitches, now with conjuctivitis...and we just got a notice that the raised the fee $330.00 a month. Can you imagine? And we're stuck. A move would be horrendous for him. He doesn't even like to leave this place because he's become so attached to it. When he leaves, he gets anxious about getting back because he doesn't have a key or know how to enter the building. So sad.

What is eldercare going to be like when we're in need?

Thinking of and praying for you and your mom.

Perhaps we should ALL get together and write a book!

I cannot respond with more at the moment - I feel a long overdue cry coming upon me.

Dotsie, I feel like we are soul sisters, going through this together.

Anno, I hope my posts didn’t make you cry. I have to tell you, things are better! Chatty is so right with that saying The sqeakiest wheel gets the grease.

The doctor came and dignosed Mom with an urinary tract infection. That can cause confusion and even demence if it gets into the blood stream. The antibiotics are helping. I met a very sweet caretaker yesterday, who confirmed that there are bitxxes in the home,…but there are those who truly care, and she’s one of them. I hugged her and left the senior home with a relieved feeling. She was so sweet.

Anne, the system here is like in the US,… only one head nurse, and the rest of the ladies are caretakers. Yes, Lola, I’m logging. And I am just confirming here, if you do have problems and are not satisfied with the care, then squeak squeak squeak.

So glad that you are paddling for your mom..and getting some improved care that she needs a great deal.

Dotsie, that is awful about the eye condition that your hubby was able to diagnose and provide a relatively easy solution that the nursing home should have treated immediately. I'm sorry now to hear about the increased costs re nursing home.

EW, urinary tract infections can do crazy things to the elderly. Glad they figured out what it was.

Many of the caretakers are very sweet, but sometimes we hear them being a bit short with the residents. They talk to them like they're in their right minds, but they aren't.

We're there a lot, and drop in at odd times. We keep them on their toes.

I know this has been here a long time. I hope Mom is doing well in the new place and that life is returning to normal for you. I'm glad you have a support system.

Lynn
www.writeradvice.com
Author of You Want Me to Do WHAT? Journaling for Caregivers

Less and less young women opt to become nurses and more and more men who can't become or afford to become doctors are studying nursing. Strange!