Anyone still up?

I'm reading this 1am Cali time. Are you still up?

DK, I know a couple situations where people are living with spouses who either have or are abusing illegal drugs.

Trust me, you are not alone.

I'm sorry but I don't think any of them would be intersted in chatting about it. They are not where you are yet. Still in the protective stage. I say whatever works for you and your family.

As jawjaw mentioned, I think prayer is a great place to unload. God hears and loves you and wants to do whatever He can for you to make you whole and healthy with Him.

Meridith -At 4 a.m. I was finally sleeping. I'm at work by 7 a.m. so the latest I usually stay up is 1.

Dotsie - I think that everyone finds their own rhythm in dealing with things. If you saw us, our family, on most days, you'd never know that there was anything wrong. And typically, most days, nothing is wrong. We go to church, we have friends, I have wonderful friends and if my husband is available we do things together, if he's not, I still go out and do things, go to the movies, go to galleries, bookstores, to dinner out, to the movies.. whatever. That would not be how I thought it was going to be but as much as possible, I do not let his actions dictate my day. Thank god for working at a newspaper, you really can't get too consumed by anything else but the deadlines at hand. And I don't let my emotions get all drama stricken either. It's not that it's easy, it's just that, if I do, I'll get sick of myself and won't be able to be in the same room with me. And I think I've taught my children the same thing...you know... life goes on and you can either lay down and sob and say "woe is me" or you think "okay... what can I do?" ... for me - when I felt like my day/life/minute was out of control, I went and washed dishes. I'm all for dish-therapy. It's mindless but you can do a good job; nobody wants to bug you for fear that they might be enlisted; and you have a sense of accomplishment when you've completed your task. It sound silly but that's how I've made it through some stressful times. And I know it's sounds horribly simplistic, but accomplishment is a really big esteem boost, even if it seems very small. "Despise not small beginnings." Fold towel, do dishes, scoop poop even....I just don't think I do anything beneficial if I were to go out drinking or go on strike or even scream, shout and have a tantrum. And if I do any of those things... what message do I send my children?

DK -

I have to admire "where you are" at this point in your life -- maybe you don't even realize how "together" you really are

You obviously have lived/living with some hard things to deal with -- but if you've taught your children that the choice is their's -- in fact -- that they even HAVE a choice -- either roll with the punches and be stronger for it or be a "woe-is-me" says a great deal for your inner strength and character !! And the fact that your children still love their father says more about you than my words can express at the moment -- and you have my respect.

I've dealt with a few "adversities" in my life and turned 50 this year myself so I can relate to your "dishwashing therapy" -- sometimes it's best to step out and nurture a "calm place" inside -- and gather the strength to deal with the situation in a "rational" manner.

I think sometimes we think that only someone going through the EXACT situation as we are can relate to our situation -- but the emotions that surface with any stressfull situation -- be it drugs, mental illness, marriage and/or family -- anything that effects your soul -- can be related to by many women in this forum, and where - true -some people aren't where you are yet -- your sharing helps them find something inside to relate to and helps them start to move forward -- What might be a casual thought to one person may be an epiphany to someone else

so welcome -- and know that you're not alone anymore

sigh...that's my Lionspaw...does this girl have the gift of clarity or what? She is such a healer of souls and I for one am sooo proud she is a member of our "family." Thanks Ms. Paws...you do a heart good when you post. As do the rest of the herd...or should I say " Heards " because we all are hearing each other and in doing so, we are healing in the process.

GROUP HUG!

and i would give up all my "clarity" for your wonderful sense of humor and gift to be able to laugh at life like you do "gaeorgaia" (sorry - forgive my floridian accent )

by the way -- your kind words couldn't have come at a better time -- THANKS

I second that amen Dotsie. And I also second the declaration of us all meeting some day. Is that going to be fun or what? Every one of us talking at once, laughing together, hugs around the rooms, and of course, ME holding court...eheheh...what? what?

Did you think I would get through a whole paragraph without reminding everyone who was Queen?

Fat chance...

Many thanks to you LP for the nice things you said. Just call us Ms. Clarity and Ms. Clarabell (the clown)

Hugs and blessings to ya...

Girls ~ it's so good to find a place to share.
It's amazing to be encouraged. I have felt strongly about telling 'my story' for a long time but I have to admit I feel a bit silly.
Why?
I don't know.
Probably because for years I've tried to keep the focus off of my life. I didn't want anyone peering into it too much - and yet, I'm very open. I'll share honestly, openly and willingly.
If there is someone else out there whose head is spinning and screaming on the inside "what am I going to do, WHAT AM I GOING TO DOOOOOOOO?" and if I can help in any way make them feel like a valuable person, make them understand that they have something to offer the world, then terrific! Then it's worth it.

K