Dee, I'm guessing you're there in the middle of the lovely family right now. How did it go. Did anyone grow up at all since you last saw them?

Dancer,
Thanks...I got through it (see below) and did have some good laughs because of the babies. They kept my mind off things and my husband was right there by my side...he's my rock.

Dianne, being myself means I tried to forgive people and move on...but, it's not happening with these folks. I've tried and they do not recipricate, so I'm beating my head against the wall. It hurts knowing Larry and I were the ones wrong and we've received no apology from the kids and the parents are mad at me because I stood up to their kids (not kids...they're so-called adults with parents who still treat them like kids and in turn the kids act like kids...you know what I'm saying?). So, this year I said screw it...I'm not going to try anymore...and I was right...things haven't changed. The good thing is the ex wasn't there and that was a huge relief.

Hey Dotsie,
At the time you wrote this we were on our way to my step-DIL's house. Thank goodness the ex wasn't there. Larry was more relaxed because of it and I think everyone in general liked that, too. Sad to say but that woman rubs a lot of people the wrong way.
My step-DIL's mother was there and she ignored me as usual. Larry saw it finally and said it was rediculous. She sat down by Larry with their grandson and completely ignored me and she offered my MIL cake but bypassed me (I was sitting by my MIL). She's been so rude but it explains why I had to set her daughter straight in how she talked to me over two years ago. I tried last year to be polite and civil but I guess Michelle's mom enjoys acting superior and rude...I guess it makes her feel good. It explains a lot about her daughter's behavior and why she thinks it's okay to treat people badly.

And here's something that I was totally surprised that they did and something I would never do. They bought little Anna who is only 2 a motorized John Deere Tractor. She actually sits on it and pushes a pedel and it drives...She was slamming into the fence and into her jungle gym and almost ran over my MIL who is 74 and me and other folks. There's no way I would put my child of two years of age in charge of a vehicle like that. Even the 4 year old (Anna's friend) was not doing the best. At one point Anna was holding on to the back and pushing it (so she thought...it was being drive by her 4 year old friend). Anna slipped and didn't let go and was being dragged behind it by the 4 year old...everyone was laughing and saying how cute...I thought it was irresponsible and dangerous. Who buys a motorized vehicle for a 2 year old? or am I behind the times?

just one more example showing just how IDIOT these people are. They are really not worth your time Dee, except they're now endangering a child.

Hi Everybody, Thank you all for such wonderful support. You are truly an amazing group of women and such a blessing to me..as well as to each other. I saw my therapist friend and dumped the whole garbage bag of emotions in his lap. His response: PTSD. I believed that only applied to severe trauma ie veterans, victims of crime etc. He told me trauma is trauma and the brain basically shuts down. We talked through every moment of the trip and why my inside was screaming and crying, while my outside displayed calm, cool, collected and dignified which resulted in a meltdown. Perfectly understandable given the circumstances. When I left, I felt a huge weight had been lifted. I went back to my scrubby little house and began painting-not the house, a canvas. I also called my older son and shared some feelings I hadn't expressed to him before. My sons both need to understand I HAVE moved on and my life no longer intersects with their father. The memories I had good and bad will never be physically revisited again. I also got up the courage to say (in the profound words of Dr. Phil), "What the hell were you thinking?" Although I'm still in my pajamas, starting work again tomorrow will force me out of the house--my safe place. It should be interesting to see if I can get through the day without an anxiety attack. Blessings to all of you.

Glad you survived! One of the kids is getting married soon so I'll get to endure the family gathering again. It honestly doesn't bother me anymore but there are things I'd rather do instead...like go to the dentist!

Give your husband a big hug for me for supporting you.

Dee, I'm glad you got through it yesterday. Those times or, at best, UNcomfortable, but not the kids fault. SOOOO glad the ex wasn't there...that was an improvement at least. Yes, you're right to say screw it and carry on. We're in the very process of doing that with my two stepdaughters...terrible for their Dad but he's getting through it one day at a time. People change when they want to but not on our time frame. Have a great Sunday!

artlady! I was posting the same time as you....I'm happy for you that things seem to be moving forward. It sounds like you've done the things to keep it so. One day at a time. Going out of our little safety zone (home) can be very challenging at times like these but really the most healthy. I know that work became my sanity saver many times over. Keep going....and come back often to visit us!

Diane...thanks, I will and good luck with the upcoming extended family...I'll keep you in my prayers. Now where's that dentist!!

Ladyjane...you're sweet and I love your comments as well...when I'm troubled or just need support, seeing all of your responses is like a dose of sunshine for me. Shine on shine on!!!

I so agree with you Dee! Lady Jane lights up a page when she posts!
dancer

Artlady,
I have PTSD. That you have found that you do is half the battle! Will you have treatment for it? I hope so, it helps so much!
It makes sense. You certainly have been through something bigger than you and terrible. If something over powers us and hurts us it is surely to cause PTSD. Yours is no less than a person who was in a war or someone like myself who is a murder witness!
One of the most important things about PTSD is to be good to yourself and to try not to "re-traumatize" yourself. Every time you see or hear of your EX, it traumatizes you again! You do need the respect of children and friends so they will not bring him up around you because he has hurt you very deeply so no good can come of them telling you what is happening in his life! It will help you move along if you are not constantly reminded of him by others! They must understand that your pain must be respected and cared for as much as if you were in a care accident! Yes, it can hurt that bad!
I have had a lot of treatment for PTSD so if I can be of any help, please PM me and let me know. I hope you do have some therapy for it and are feeling better soon. Please keep us updated?
dancer9