As I ponder what to do about the future for me and the kids, one topic of worry is the house.
Can I keep the house so as not to further unsettle the kids, can I afford to live there and make pmts when my spouse has lost his mind and will probably live in denial forever? And then I think about the possibility of working out an arrangement, or buying something where my mom could come to live with the kids and me when she's ready. I really don't want her to move to an assisted living place or a retirement community. I know she thinks that she doesn't want to burden her kids, but I don't think it would be a burden. Sure it might be difficult if she were to become very ill or disabled, but I think I would rather know that she was loved and cared for by my brothers, kids and me than in a place where she had to rely on strangers. Anyone faced this situation?

Kathryn, haven't faced it yet but it is one I think about since my dad is a widower and my husband's parents both live alone.

I have a cousin who is doing this and she has a separate section of the house which is nice because they come and go through different doors, have their own kitchens, etc. Everyone seems to be happy because they are there for one another as needed, but not on top of each other. She is on top of her parents health issues and truly looks out for them. They help her with her son too so it is a nice set-up.

I think the best way to go about it is to be extremely open and honest with your mom (and her with you) so you know each other's expectations, needs, desires, etc.

It's nice that your mom doesn't want to be a burden to her kids!

[ July 11, 2003, 10:41 AM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]