Site Links










Top Posters
Dotsie 23647
chatty lady 20267
jawjaw 12025
jabber 10032
Dianne 6123
Latest Photos
car
Useable gifts!
Winter wonderland/fantasy for real
The Soap lady meets the Senator
baby chicks
Angel
Quilted Christmas Stocking
Latest Quilt
Shelter from the storm
A new life
Who's Online
0 Registered (), 142 Guests and 2 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
3239 Members
63 Forums
16332 Topics
210704 Posts

Max Online: 409 @ 01/17/20 03:33 AM
Topic Options
#11375 - 10/11/02 03:17 AM the sandwich generation
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Anyone else out there feel like they are taking care of their parents, in-laws, and children? I know many friends who spend their days off from work taking their parents to all of their doctor appointments, food shopping, hair-dresser, and every other errand imaginable. While we are not complaining because we love our parents dearly, we are saying to ourselves, "I never thought I'd be spending my days off in quite this manner!"

Top
#11376 - 11/01/02 05:13 AM Re: the sandwich generation
Micki Offline
Member

Registered: 10/30/02
Posts: 144
Loc: Linthicum, MD
I am widowed and orphaned both in the last few years. I still have my father (who is very alive and vibrant at 78), but my mother and hubby both are gone. No matter how old you are, it affects you greatly when a parent dies, and then to lose your husband too is just awful. Anyway, I have become the "mother" to my father, my 90 year old maternal great aunt and 2 maternal great uncles (one 87 and one 93!), and I am newly employed as a CDL bus driver and admin assistant for First Student. My days are long and hard with the job, and then I am at the beck and call of all these elderly people 24/7.

Anyway, nobody ever told us when we were young that life could be this hard. We were blissfully unaware of all the bad things that happened, and lived our lives bathed in the love and attention of our parents and extended family and friends. Remember all the summers at the shore, and the holidays when we all visited with all of the other families just like ours? What happened to those happy times...when our parents were still here and when we weren't afraid to go out at night and walk through the city?

I want those times back. I know I never will get that, but that is my secret desire...to have everyone young and vibrant and for me to be surrounded by those that have gone on before so that I can bask in the glow of that time. In my dreams, I am there, and sometimes I just don't want to ever wake up from them.

Top
#11377 - 11/11/02 07:20 PM Re: the sandwich generation
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Sure sounds like you have quite a few people depending on you for care! However, from reading your other posts, I get the idea that you have your act together in spite of all the care you give. Sometimes giving care keeps me going. We just can't let ourselves burn out on it.

You are so right that no one ever told us that life could be so hard. We were so oblivious when we were kids. There are days when i am grateful that we were "blissfully unaware" of all the bad things that went on. Otherwise I don't think our childhoods would have been the fun-filled, action packed days of endless play and interaction with extended family and friends. Due to the way our parents raised us we weren't bogged down with earthly issues. But... there are the days that I feel like I had no preparation for this and I wonder why my parents didn't fill me in on some of the bad stuff. I remember when my Mom was living and she would tell me these sad stories about people I knew growing up. I would say, "Why didn't you tell us Uncle Tom had cancer?" Mom simply said,"You DIDN'T DO THAT back then". In some ways I can relate to that, because we have intentionally not told our kids some things about our family and friends because we don't think it could benefit them, and we don't want to worry there little minds. Who knows, one day my kids my look me in the eyes and say, "Why didn't you tell me these stories when I was a kid?"

Top
#11378 - 11/11/02 10:03 PM Re: the sandwich generation
Lasikboomer Offline
Member

Registered: 10/30/02
Posts: 15
Loc: Baltimore
Sandwich generation is a great name. I am sandwiched in between my 83 year old mother and my two children ages 8 & 10. My mother is very dependant on me and of course my children are too. Often times I feel overwhelmed. I am lucky to have a very supportive husband but the bulk of the responsibility falls on me. Our parents didn't warn us about how much responsibility we would have. But if they had, it would have taken away from our carefree days of childhood. I'm glad I didn't have a clue about what challenges faced me in adulthood. You live and learn...sometimes the hard way. Our parents didn't have any more knowledge than we did...probably even less. They grew up in the generation where noone talked about things...."what would the neighbors think?" They didn't have support groups or forums and therapy was not the in thing! We are lucky to have so much support available to us. Times are different and in some ways we do have it harder. However, we know we are not alone. Thanks to Dotsie for creating this forum and allowing us to share our thoughts and feelings.

Top
#11379 - 11/23/02 06:39 AM Re: the sandwich generation
Micki Offline
Member

Registered: 10/30/02
Posts: 144
Loc: Linthicum, MD
Well, am up to my eyeballs in paperwork to aid the maternal aunt and uncle "hide" assets for when he has to be in an assisted living situation and I REALLY don't like it! I told my own nieces and nephews that if I ever get to the point that my aunt and uncles are, to just shoot me where I stand!

I am taking them shopping and trying to talk them out of buying even MORE oatmeal, Dinty Moore beef stew, powdered doughnuts, Windex or Liquid Plumber, because when I take them home there are always a ton of them already there. I am trying to get them to do things that they need to do and they are fighting me all the way. They ask for help, and then tell me that they don't want to do whatever it is. I am doing paperwork so the lawyers won't cost so much and trying to get them to spend some money on things that they need or could upgrade to hide their assets, but they are fighting that too.

What a mess!!

Top



NABBW.com | Forum Testimonials | Newsletter Sign Up | View Our Newsletter | Advertise With Us
About the Founder | Media Room | Contact BWS
Resources for Women | Boomer Books | Recent Reads | Boomer Links | Our Voices | Home

Boomer Women Speak
9672 W US Highway 20, Galena, IL 61036 • info@boomerwomenspeak.com • 1-877-BOOMERZ

Boomer Women Speak cannot be held accountable for any personal relationships or meetings face-to-face that develop because of interaction with the forums. In addition, we cannot be held accountable for any information posted in Boomer Women Speak forums.

Boomer Women Speak does not represent or endorse the reliability of any information or offers in connection with advertisements,
articles or other information displayed on our site. Please do your own due diligence when viewing our information.

Privacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer

Copyright 2002-2019 • Boomer Women SpeakBoomerCo Inc. • All rights reserved