Are you a worrier?
How do (did) you deal with it, if you are (were)?

I use to be Gimster. I was so bad that if I couldn't find something to worry about, I borrowed trouble from someone else.

Then, I realized how silly it was to worry about things that "might" happen. I started telling myself, "What's the worst thing that could come of this?" When I did, nine times out of ten it wasn't that bad.

I also realized that spending all my time worrying was wasting the time God gave me that could be used LIVING. I believe if a person looks hard enough, they CAN and WILL find something to worry over. Why look? (Not pointing that question at you, just speaking in general terms)

I've found that God always provides and He is always there. That's good enough for me. I'm not saying that I NEVER worry at all, I'm human and old habits die hard. But when the worry tries to invade my mind, I try really hard to go within and understand why I'm concerned by taking an honest look at the situation. Make sense?

It does make sense...
My problem is when a worry comes over me in an instant... like I have an intuitive feeling something is going wrong with one of our children or grandchildren. It's a horrible (and scary) feeling. I use to have thoughts come from nowhere like this about my husband, when he traveled over the road so much. I can pray the feelings down, but the instant they occur is almost unlivable.

Gimster, It's like a sixth sense that women have, I think. Looking back, had any of the intuitive feelings come true?

That happens to me sometimes too Gimster. I just pray and usually its nothing really, just not enough sleep or hormones. I think anxiety pays a visit to everyone once in a while. Its normal. JJ and Chickadee, all great input. I need to be reminded of that very often myself.

i posted about this earlier today....but i was talking about that intuitive feeling when somthings not write and it isen't right. I spent a looooong time trying to work the diffrence out and still manage to mess it up and get them mixed up..
what jj said about going into the worrie and seeing what its about is stuff i have to do as i am as open to fear and worrie about my loved ones as the next person...To give an example the child will have a temp and in the night i want to cheek he ok a hundred times to make sure he ok. So their something to worrie about their but my head trying to turn it into a disaster. I a lot calmer about that and it had a lot to do with my feeling of loving him so much and not feeling deserving of him. Once i clicked into that the fear thing fall mostlie away...

I also hand over to god in faith that he look after things, so then i gotta trust the process....

the whole is it intutive feeling verses a fear feeling from the subconcise a hard one to seperate from within yourself becouse both can feel verie powerfull and scarrie.

I used to worry, too. No more, got no time for worrying about what could go wrong. I assume that things will turn out for the best, focus on the best possible outcome and find ways to make the best come true.

Here are a couple of tricks I have used to change my fears and worries around. Maybe they will work, maybe not.

If you have to worry, grant yourself a set amount of time each day to worry. Perhaps 15 minutes at the end of the day would work. Then, worry away about anything and everything you wanted to worry about all day long. When the time is up, you stop worrying and focus on all the good things that happened that day (think gratitude). In order for this to work, you have to keep track of what you want to worry about during your worry time and refuse to think about it during the day. It helps when you know that you have an official worry time coming up.

Another one is to make a long list of the worst possible outcomes of a situation. Get it out there, think the worst. Then make a list of the best possible outcomes of a situation. Push yourself to really think of all the good that may come from a situation. This may help in refocusing, finding new strategies to work on, and seeing the picture in a positive light.

I used to be a worry wort all the time. Now, I ask myself two questions about something I'm worrying about or upset about: Can I control the situation? Will it matter in 5 or 10 years? Usually the answer to both is 'no' so I usually am able to let it go.

chick, if it's a really bad feeling, I tell people I have the feelings about. Because I do that, I can't say that the events didn't come into fruition because my feeling was simply a feeling or didn't because I warned the other party. Sometimes I just tell others about the feeling I had or have. I give my action of telling others the same amount of credit I give for telling the party connected to my feeling. But, on occasion I have had feelings or thoughts and not shared them, and yes a couple of times something did happen. I made mental notes to tell my husband to watch them especially careful, but failed to. He is use to me telling him to beware "for I had a feeling." Just last month, I had a thought about one of the G/Ks hurting themselves on one of the bikes. The weekend after, one of the boys flipped his 4 wheeler. Coincidence? I couldn't tell you, but it sure was close.

I was excited, Anne, thinking I had that book in my library, but it turned out the title I have is "The Gift of Pain." I will look for that book, tho. It sounds very interesting.

The worries I'm really burdened with are the moments of fear I get upon wakening with a terrible feeling something is going to happen, or already has. Those moments happen all the time. I hope it is just hormones or anxiety, NL. I like trying to reason the feelings away. I pray too... a simple childhood practice of mine of praying a bubble around the person or persons. I sometimes still have a hard time shaking the feeling off, though, and end up warning or telling someone.

celtic, I consider the feelings coming from the subconscious as intuitive feelings. I don't know that I can label these feelings inutitive... they certainly seem clouded with "premonition."

Anno, I can apply those technics to my more frivolous (for lack of better word) worries - like having enough to pay a bill, let's say. Frankly, I don't worry about those types of things like I use too. Do you all find that to be true, as you've aged?

I am going to use the second technic, however, on a particular problem we're having with a fellow land owner in our area. In fact, I stopped before responding to your post to grab a legal pad and get some thoughts down that popped into my head, before I forgot them. It's not really a "worry" matter, but a "rights" issue, which has caused me a lot of irritated moments. Then, once I get as many goods and bads as I can think of, I'll apply techic 1 - dedicate a few minutes a day to figure out what we can do about each if they occur. Along with that, I'll mix in Yonuh's questions: "Can I control the situation? Will it matter in 5 or 10 years?" I'm seriously feeling better about this situation, already, just planning to work it out... lol. I'm an avid list maker, so the technic will work well for me, I think.

I'm kind of feeling dumb. As much as I've read, and as much as I think things through, I've not thought to write out what bad might happen versus what good might come of a situation. ME

But, I don't think the technics will help on the worried feelings my original question was pertainging to. When it comes to one of mine hurting or being hurt, I can hardly control how I'm feeling, much less time-slot my worries. Wouldn't want to write down bad things either, from the fear of them possibly taking place. I know, dumb fear, but it is a fear, nonetheless.

Great topic for women. Don't you think we worry more than men?

I inherited the worry gene from Mom and let it cultivate for years. Then I realized I had a choice. I no longer wanted to carry that gene. This has taken years of work. By the grace of God, I worry less. I've done studies (am doing one now called Living Above Worry and Stress. I've mentioned before that I'm doing a series of studies written by the Women of Faith gals. This was the next one in the series and I figured I still need work in that area, so why not?) What I have come to realize is that this is not the life God wants us to live. He wants us to trust that He knows what's best for us and to embrace that regardless of what it is. Why waste time worrying when He is in control anyway AND He has our very best interest at heart? VERY BEST!

What has worked for me is reading what the Bible has to say about worry. I have used a topical Bible and read all the verses about worry, and I've learned that it's actually a sin, and I still continue to do it anyway, but not as much. Go figure. Anyway, you mention praying it down. I love that choice of words. That's exactly what I do. And if not through prayer, I simply change my thoughts to something far away from the worry and then I take my mind in that direction and it works. I also change the worried thoughts to positive, good thoughts because hey, it's just as likely something good will happen.

I have three kids in college. One is now in the Bahamas on spring break. I could worry myself sick, but I've chosen to turn it into prayer by asking for his health and safety every day. Instead of my worry about him drowning, breaking his neck on the trapeze, geting carried away with the unlimited alcohol, etc., I am picturing having a blast with his friends, reading his book while catching rays, eating good food which he loves, and being the responsible kid he typically is. If something happens, I believe it's God's will and He will give me the strength to manage. All much easier said than done, but also possible. Hope this helps.

Also, worry robs us of our joy that is rightfully ours!

That was wonderfully phrased, Dotsie! I am a worrier too. I am always worried about my husband traveling or my nephews and nieces out with their friends partying, etc. I will try to think more on lines of that thought from now on. Thanks for sharing that!

This is a great topic, and the answers or solutions from all you wise women are excellent. Yonuh I will remember to ask myself will it matter in 5 or 10 years. That's a good one.

Maybe Gimster you have a gift. It's not worry but instead, intuitions.
Dotsie, that is interesting that the Bible considers worry a sin. Do you agree with that?

I worry more than my husband, that's for sure.

My son and granddaughter stayed with us over the weekend. My son, who is 29, went out to meet friends of his. I woke up at 5AM and tiptoed down the hall, and peeked into his room to see if he came back. He wasn't!
This is so sick….I couldn't go back to sleep. All these horrible visions went through my head. Finally I heard a door creak, and my old mother soul was off in slumber land. What the kids do outside of the house doesn't worry me at all…it's when they are here…figure that?

Dotsie, I totally agree. Worry is such a time-waster.
I totally give it up to God and say..You can do it for us, Lord!

Cindy

yea its nice to hand it over and to talk about those worries or bit of weired thinking you do have but would never admit to having...
you do have those types of weired wee thoughts..HL dont you dare say NO now! hehe

So if by chgance theirs no god and i been talking to myself and spilling the beans on my deepest and darkest and sillies of worries it wont matter as it helped in the moment...

One QUESTION to the ladies THAT PRAY...do you do a set prayer for the situasion, ie the our father or whatever, or do you do a free flowing one...one thats more fitting to the situasion...i forgett to aske that so often

Celtic, you are so refreshingly honest. I just love you.

I pray the "Our Father" automatically. And when I talk or need advice...I think of my own father, and ask him what he would do. He's always given me good advice.

yea i never quite know what others mean by it unless their furiouslie fingerring round a roserie lol...

thats lovilie that you think of your own father...he did sound nice, and good that he still lives on in your mind (at the verie lest)to give and help you in the heer and now

By "Our Father," do you mean the Lord's Prayer? Or, is there another prayer script by that name?
I do, on occasion use the Lord's Prayer, but it's usually a preface to a more pointed prayer.
Most of my prayers are fleeting snippets to "bless this", "relieve this", "handle that", "fix something else".

God knows all, sees all, feels all, hears all, is all... so I don't feel the need to get wordy with him. He knows where my heart is and where it needs to be. He knows what needs to be done and how to do it.

I find most of my prayers to simply be, "Lord, wrap your loving arms around so and so. He/she needs you right now."
Other times, it's a simple, "Thank you, Father, for being there and taking care of so and so."

I do know I don't tell him "thank you" enough, but maybe admitting it here will help me remember to do so.

By "Our Father," do you mean the Lord's Prayer?....yes
then we went on to talk of HL chatting to her dad at spacific times...

The heart strangling moments are the bother GIMSTER.i hope this eases for you as "hart strangling" sound painfull and tourmoil....never plesant espicallie in relashion to loved ones..hope you find comphort from this post, you have been saying its lightning your load.

Yes, Gimster...I meant the Lord's Prayer. Geez, it's been a while since I've even said that; "The Lord's Prayer".

Great suggestions all! I worry all the time. I try to keep my mind occupied by reading or other things that require my concentration. Sometimes it works. I even worry in my dreams. I'll try out the resources listed by everyone. Thanks!

gimster, glad I was able to plant a positive seed. I have found that to be true.

Another spin I have put on life is the saying that people use when something bad happens, "WHY ME?"

Well, "WHY NOT YOU," is another way to look at it. Why should anyone get through life without anything bad happening to them? Why do we think we don't deserve something bad? Do we think we are better than the next person.

gimster, I pray like you. I also do prayers I learned in childhood on occasion, and I also dialogue with God the same way I dialogue with friends. Due to the prayer group I've attended for years, I have no problem at all praying out loud like I once did. I think the more we do it, the easier and more connected we become.

Maybe we should start a topic on prayer and what it is to everyone. Hmmm...

Women worrying more than men? Maybe. Somehow some men, who are naturally caring and conscientious individuals, these type of guys do worry but don't verbalize their worry as much as some women would. they just pace about, pretend to do something or calmly, quietly takes control of the situation so he worries less (and probably overworks himself unnecessarily).

prayer route learned or made up sounds like a good topic, i often do wonder how or what others are actulie saying when they pray even if you see them all you see is the physical stance they take not the mental activitie...

good idea...

orchid, I agree. I think some men are worriers but just don't admit it.

Celtic, I odn't have an specific stance though I know some people do. I pray anywhere and in any position. I don't have to be kneeling with hands folded like I was taught in Catholic school many years ago.

D and I were talking about worry and fear lately, and it seems he worries much more than I do. I doubt that he would share this with anyone but me.

R (DH) says he doesn't worry, but I know he does. I can tell when he's in the throws of it by his demeanor.

Worry and fear can cause actual physical problems to erupt. Heart attacks, strokes, ulcers, migraines are just a few of the things brought on by worry and stress. Easier said than done in some cases; but try to relax and not worry about the things you have no control over. Give your life over to God, its amazing how much stress and worry that will eleviate.
I speak to God, pray everywhere. In my car, when crocheting we have some good chats. I don't think there is a special posture when praying. God is everywhere and listens no matter what.

i don't have a spacific stance i pray doing the dishes or feeding the child or when i can.....however if it a big hartfelt one or i am in need/sorrow/pain extreem gratitude...you know those big prayers for yourself or another thats soooo seriouse then i am on my knews or crossed leg infront of a wee statue, it helps me keep my focus and i gess seperrate it in my mind from just the normal types of praying...

i was talking about watching othes paray as part of a group, you dont get to know whats in their heads just by seeing them from the outside. Their stances lets you know their praying but not what going on in their head....well they might be thinking about the dinner as far as i know and just look like their praying lol...

DOTSIE i been waiting for you to post in spiritual section about paraying...lol..