seeking help

Hi there everyone. I havea serious question. I claim to be separated which I am. I have been for 4 yrs. I was thrown out the day before thanksgiving. The decision that lead up to being thrown out was spontanious to a degree but may have been coming on and unconsiously been triggered before that faithful night. Now I need help.

Let me give you all a brief background. I lived with an abusive man, although he was a good dad,I was not a good mom. He was mentally and emotionally abusive since about the third year of our marriage yet I stayed thinking I needed him and "I could change things" Now 4 years later and several states away , I am finally ready to break the marital connections and get my freedom and name back. But being in Kansas and he in Colorado I havent been able to get any help.

I hope I am not opening myself up too much, I have kept this too myself for a very long time because I was afraid to be judged harshly. But I am (I think) strong enough to seek help and a divorce freeing myself from night mares and dreams of a failed marriage. My children were never in danger, if that makes since

If you can help please let me know.

Thanks , Debi

Debi,
Why were you being thrown out ? Why was your ex not being thrown out ? Have you seen a lawyer and are you safe now and your children. ? Are you children with you. ? There are places you can go and your children . Please fill us in on this .

I am safe and living with friends. He, the ex doesnt know where I am and I would like to keep it that way. The kids chose not to go with me, and refused to speak with me when i called. I was thrown out because I told him I cheated on him, which was false. But I knew if something was not done I would never leave,if that makes sense? I would stay in the marriage and be unhappy being dormate and not happy. Truely only going threw the motions.
I havent found an attorney yet. I have not found any I could affaord , the legal Aide attornies wont do anything because there are teen kids involved and the legal Aide folks there wont do anything because I dont live there.
I have been in shelters and knock on wood I wont be back in one. I was grateful to go into one when I needed one. But now that I am safe there is a bed for someone who needs it now the way I did then.

Debi

AS for why wasnt he thrown out He works for the gov and talked the cops ut of not filing a report because all I wanted to do was just to get my stuff and leave.

Deb