I'm Back!!! and boy did I learn a lot!

Well, for any of you who remember my last post, so-so lonely??? It's me again. I cannot believe just how hard this divorce stuff is! I have had a hard time getting myself out of bed to function (which is why I haven't checked in for awhile!) But....I have learned a lot...And I am back, a little stronger I think! Still a long ways to go though....

The biggest thing that I have learned is that I am not at fault...

I also in an indirect way got my husband to admit to having many, many, many affairs over 25 years! He had so many that I can't believe he had time to work and keep a career.

If ever there was a truer statement it would be "love is blind".....I just closed my selective eyes to it all...I look back over the years and all the signs were there, I just chose not to pay attention! He had everyone fooled. His reputation is one of such morality. Friends would say, " you are so lucky to have such an honest and moral husband" WOW!!!!

To tell you just how screwed up he is, I discovered through investigation that he is and was having an affair with this one person that I suspected. She has since started the process of divorcing her husband apparently to be with mine but mine apparently doesn't like the commitment side and is now having another affair with someone he just met (a lawyer). And had a one night stand with someone else (who started this whole thing because I found a note from her in my husband's briefcase), yet still is seeing the first one (confused??? how do you think I feel?). I am so glad to be rid of the whole situation. It is amazing but with all these woman, he chose not to touch me for 12 years! I guess he couldn't deal with the close intimacy side of a relationship. I thought all along he had a physical problem!!!!(and I suffered the agony of that everyday of my life but stayed)

I am on to bigger and better things after 25 years of neglect, betrayal and humiliation! I am reading a good book about healing from adandonment!

The ONLY thing that is making me just a tad bit nervous is the money stuff!!! I just want to make sure I am OK with that...

Thanks to you all!!! You don't know how that helped me at the beginning...To have strength from others even if I didn't personally know any of you!

I still cry and can't wait until that is over. I am tired of crying...I think this story will amaze anyone as the above is only the tip of the iceberg , maybe I can write a book someday!!

Girl, the fact that you say, "I'm tired of crying" says you are on the road to recovery. Good grief, I can't remember reading about anybody so screwed up as he was, and is... you are fortunate to be out of it (I hope that doesn't sound insensitive) and my guess is you have so much living to do, so many new things to try, and guess what? Life is just waiting on you... to truly live again.

When your soul is ready, celebrate. You've earned it. We will gladly celebrate with you. What a strong woman you are!

JJ

Bah Welcome back!!!!!

I am sorry you have to go through all of that. Love truely is blind, I also know that to be true. But each day things will get better and you will get stronger. Just listen to your body and soul. It will give you what you need.
When you are ready writing will become your source of hope of strength, as it has mine.

I have just finished my bio and after years of trying and failing , had to do it in the thirrd person and with a different name, but the story is finally told.

So take each day as it comes , and each day as you set your feet on the ground know you are cared about thought about. And you will get stronger and stronger.

Debi