You Can Be Happy No Matter What

Posted by: Dotsie

You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 09/24/03 03:42 PM

Okay, so I spent a -L o n g- time at the book store yesterday and here is what I came up with for our next read:

You Can Be Happy No Matter What:
Five Principles for Keeping Life in Perspective
by, Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

This is the guy who wrote Don't Sweat The Small Stuff.

I decided we would alternate between fiction and non-fiction.

Just want to get some feedback before I e-mail the book club women. Please check it out at Amazon. We will only have a month to read it because it is a simple,quick read. We will also discuss it as we go along.

I continue to work on the page for my site that will be for book club members. I hope to meet with my web queen soon. SHe is still on her honeymoon, but when she gets back I have *stuff* ready for her to do.

Also, any thoughts of what you think should go on the book club page?
Posted by: Lynn

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 09/30/03 01:21 AM

A simple quick read sounds good to me right now. Will begin looking for the book. I like the idea of positng as we go along. I am not feeling very creative latley so I have no suggestions for the weg page. Wish I did. We'll talk soon.
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 10/09/03 01:06 AM

One son's at college, one's at work, my daughter is doing homework, and my hubby is taking his little boy at the local orphanage out to Friendly's for dinner. I'm putting off making dinner because my daughter isn't hungry and I can wait too. So why not post about the book club read!

I'm in the middle of reading, let's see, 1,2,3,4 books right now. I'm reading:
-Bearing The Big H, H would be Hysterectomy, written by a friend I met a writer's conference.
-Complete Guide To Internet Publicity
-The Purpose Driven Life (my husband and I are in a book study with this one at our church on Sunday mornings...and
-You Can Be Happy No Matter What.

I think I need a good novel too, don't you? [Wink]

Anyway, the book club read is a good one. I thought I would crank it out in no time, but I've found it takes some much needed reflection.

Beginning with, Circumstances don't make a person. Instead, they reveal him or her! That's on page xiii. Wow, that made me think.

He also mentions that contentment enhances our spiritual life, and I seem to disagree. I think it's just the opposite.

I totally agree with the Introduction when he mentions that we should have a gratitude journal. I began doing this several summers ago. When I began I had a hard time listing things. Now, there's no stopping me! [Big Grin] What occurs when you begin this practice is amazing. You truly begin focusing on your blessings in life and realize EVERYTHING is God's grace!

This book isn't written with a spiritual bent, but if you are looking for it, you can find it.

Just a start!

What do you think?

[ October 08, 2003, 06:08 PM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 10/10/03 05:01 PM

Okay ladies, anyone have the book yet?
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 10/23/03 07:17 AM

Now that I have someone reading with me, how about page xxii where he says,

"New answers don't come from what you already know in the computer part of your brain. They come from a change of heart, from seeing life differently, from the unknown, quieter part of yourself."

Don't know about you gals but I know some people my age who think they have it all going on and have arrived. No need to do self reflection because they are BUSY. Life is FULL and one thing runs right into the other. [Eek!] Whatever works.

I think we can't reflect until we are able to get quiet, hunker down (in my case, it's with the Lord) and then you do get new answers. Things you may have never quite imagined. Fortunately I've had many a change of heart during those times. Still more work to go, but I agree with him on this one!

Any thoughts?
Posted by: jawjaw

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 10/22/03 09:36 PM

I will have to agree with you on the part about being quiet and listening to yourself and God.

I have found that the most rewarding changes and answers for me have come when I have stopped COMPLETELY whatever I was doing and .... well .... just listened. To what I am not sure, but I know God's hand was involved in it.

Maybe the quiet time allows your mind to not be overwhelmed by circumstances and helps you to focus (my biggest problem yet) as well as put things in perspective. Just a thought.
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 10/28/03 04:30 PM

I agree jj. I think our lives are so busy that we just go from one thing to the next, never really taking the time to even think about why we are doing what we are doing. What a frazzled state to live in.
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 11/01/03 03:18 PM

Garrie, yeah I'm having a tough time getting through this one...truth be known. I'm always reading several books at a time and this isn't the one I keep picking up. It's the one I keep putting off.

It'staught me a lesson...I need to read the books ahead of time before I make them a book for my book and learn! [Wink]

The first book we read, The Saving Graces, I had read ahead of time and when it came time to post I wished I had just read it. When it came time to pick the second book I went to the book store and spent lots of time trying to find a non-fiction read. I had also read DOn't Sweat The Small Stuff and I guess I needed to hear that at the time 'cause I liked it. Oh well!
Posted by: jawjaw

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 11/01/03 04:19 PM

Dotsie...I have always said I've never met a book I didn't like. Til now. The book is okay, but this book could open the door for some controversial discussions, which I guess in itself is not a bad thing, but I'm more into something entertaining I suppose. I work all day, write all night, and in my spare time I think I'm looking for something to relax me more or less. Am I making sense? Anyhoo...I too am having trouble picking it up and reading it.
Posted by: lionspaaw

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 11/02/03 11:35 PM

i went to the library to see if i could get this book -- and i couldn't -- without driving into the next town -- but after reading your last few posts -- i have to go with my original "gut feeling"

a book with the title "you can be happy no matter what" just didn't seem to be one that too many of the ladies here in the forum would need to read -- i mean -- heLLLLllooo -- of COURSE you can be happy no matter what [Smile] -- and most of the ladies i know in here have figured that out already [Smile] with all the brillant women in here -- we don't need to read a self-help book -- we just need each other [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin]

but i do agree with him about the computer part of our brain vs the part connected to the soul --
if we can let go our "intelligence" and allow the soul to flow -- we can find inner peace much easier
Posted by: jawjaw

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 11/03/03 01:25 AM

Ms. L,

I'll be glad to sell you my book. what? what?

and now I'm going back and read the part about us being so brilliant... [Wink]
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 11/04/03 04:13 PM

I did a little more reading in the book last night. Unfortunately I felt like I was doing homework. Decided I paid for the book, it's in the book club, so I'm going to make the most of it.

I did find a coupe thoughts worth mentioning:

Page 28 and 29 reminded me of something I often say to my kids and remind myself. Everything in life is a choice. We can choose to be happy or we can choose to be sad. Sounds very simple and this guy believes wholeheartedly in this. I say it works most of the time, but what do you do when teenagers live in the house with you? I think I could be happy more often if I didn't have to deal with disciplining them.

I did find myself thinking about managing my teens while in low moods. I KNOW it's not a good thing to do, but sometimes I just can't help myself. I react...Are you on the phone again? GET OFF THE PHONE and do your homework! All that kind of fun stuff!

I'm reflecting on holding my tongue and waiting for the mood to lift. Then addressing it when it isn't an issue... [Eek!]

I reallylike what he has to say about realizing other people don't and can't think the same way we do based on life experiences. It's impossible. All of us have lived different lives. Found it to be another way of saying, if you haven't walked a mile in my shoes, blah, blah, blah. Another good reminder for me.

Also, page 55-56(his little story on the power of a thought)spoke loudly to me.

And of course the thought that if you focus on the good thoughts you remain more positive and more happy.

None of this is new to me, but it's nice to have the reminders of issues I've pondered at different times in my life.

I'm finding I like it a little more than I thought. [Wink]

I'm working on getting it finished so we can move on to The Tuscan Sun book. I'm ready for lighter reading!
Posted by: Evie

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 11/04/03 05:06 PM

Re: choice

Read an interesting quote the other day while working through my writing course:

"The only real power we have is the power of choice" - L. Stobbe

I have that one taped on the computer right now.
Posted by: jawjaw

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 11/04/03 05:56 PM

I like that one Evie...I also like your pic. You and Dotsie favor, don't you think?

I still say this book is a snoozer though....
Posted by: swimbo56

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 11/08/03 02:00 AM

How do you join this book club. Not sure I want to read the 1st one, but I like to read, generally. Let me know,please.
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 11/10/03 03:23 AM

swimbo, look on the homepage of boomerwomenspeak and click on the book club icon on the left side of the page. You'll be able to read about it and register from the same page if you wish. Hope you will join us. [Wink]
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 11/14/03 05:21 PM

Ladies, I'll be emailing the club members soon because I think we should be starting our new book next week...Under The Tuscan Sun. A little lighter and a quicker read. Then I'm going to try to squeeze in a little Christmas non-fiction read. Any suggestions? We shall see.

A few more thoughts on our current read, You Can Be Happy No Matter What...

I loved his section on relationships.
He talks about it not being what we say, but how we say it. Gotta remember I'm raising three teens here and I couldn't agree with this more. I know from experience that when I talk with them about it issue, it's best to do it when the issue isn't smack in our faces. That way we can TALK about it and actually listen to one another. Choosing when to talk about issues is key.

He talks about moods. I thankfully read something long ago about NOT talking with the kids when there's an issue. We aren't in the right mood to TALK...Cool off and wait until the anger has resided and then talk with them. This works in any relationship. Wish I had the presence of mind to do this with all conflicts, but I don't! [Eek!]

I also like how he talks about no two people seeing things the same way. Everyone has lived separate lives and brings differing experiences with them to every situation. You know, the old walk a mile in my shoes thing. Helps to consider when in relationships.

In seven he reminded me that I cause my own stress. I should be capable of ruling my thoughts better. Something else to work on. Thinking more happy thoughts makes for a happier person...makes simple sense! When we are happier we see clearer answers to conflict.

Lots of valuable lessons in this book. Anyone else want to share?
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: You Can Be Happy No Matter What - 11/18/03 05:38 PM

Well. I finished. I learned I need to think about my mood more often. If I can keep tabs on that I will be smarter about how I respond and interact with others which makes for a happier life.

I also learned that I can control my thoughts because I'm the one who creates them. DUH!

I must say these aren't new lessons, just ones that needed to be brought to my attention AGAIN!