Maybe this should be under "Re-defining Life...."

OK, drama continues in my life.

BF is selling his business. Since that is also his home he has to make some decisions.

We've been up again/down again for a long time but always seem to stick together (mostly I think because it's familiar and safe). We have a good time together, but I've long felt something was missing. We're great friends, but the passion has long been gone. And there has never been any romance.

Anyway, today we went on a local outing and had a great time. Another couple happened to ask if we were boyfriend/girlfriend, or colleagues, or ??? He answered
"a little of both, we're colleagues and we're dating."

Now, we've been "dating" for about 7 years now. He has always said he'll never get married again (and I believe him). Not sure I ever want to go down that road again myself. Maybe I do, and maybe I don't. But when, after all this time, those kinds of questions are still answered like that, well, it bothers me.

I've been very careful to NOT mention living together, considering the pending sale of his business.

My dilemma is this. I'm happy the way things are. I like living alone. He wants to "wait on me" to retire and always talks about the future with the word "we." But if I don't want to live together now, after all this time, I really can't see why I'd want to do it in a few more years.

Truthfully I'd like to see other people. But I have NO experience with tactfully "breaking up" or "backing off" with someone.

Any advice?

Thanks.

Whirlwnd

I answered this post and it vanished!

I think the real question is: Wait on what? For more of the same?

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If you like living alone it would probably be very difficult to live with someone that doesn't seem really committed to a long term relationship that remains the same or else, he's happy with everything the way it is too.

Whirlwind, as women, we sugar-coat our words sometimes to the point that we've broken up with a man and he doesn't even know it! I say, deal in honesty and tell him the truth rather than just backing away.

and the truth shall set you free....literally.

JJ

I agree as well, be honest as you would want the same honesty from him. If you've "dated" this man for seven years with no commitment on either side, it sounds to me like a dead end. JJ said a mouthful above...

I think he may already have redefined you out of his life. Just dump the guy and find somebody better. After that comment about being colleageus he deserves it.