The nicest thing about this site:

I'm very new here and I noticed right away that many people seemed to have been here for some time and many people knew each other.

When I left the only forum I every posted on, I did so because it had cliques and it was literally turning in on itself as people who did not belong were ignored and not honored. New members could not really get a "hook," there because of this. It became boring.

This site is not like that. People here have posted to me and tried to include me in discussions even though I do not know anyone and am new here. It is hard to trust a new member who has not proven themselves to be a good person and someone who may stay. As I looked for a forum I could relate to, I found some that I felt "outside," of and I didn't feel like waiting to get in, if that makes sense.

Many here have been good to me when I am new and I wanted to thank them and compliment this forum on how it treats it's new people. If you treat new members this way, a forum can grow.

It's very nice.

Best,
dancer

P.S. I still like color though. lol

Dancer,
One of the things we've learned here is that each person comes with unique gifts, wisdom and "color" to enrich all of us.

One of the things I most love about this forum is watching people arrive here terribly wounded and then watching them slowly but surely unfolding and healing, often to the point of becoming "wounded healers" to others, speaking wondrous wisdom and compassion precisely because of their own woundedness...and sometimes leaving in order to spread their healing wings and light elsewhere.

I liken this place to the quote by Anais Nin: "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive. And it is only by this meeting that this new world is born."

PS, I'm not sure what you mean by colour...there is a place in "My Home" where you can choose from several styles (or skins). If I recall correctly, you could choose pinks, or blues, or greens...not a whole lot of choice, but a few colours in there. I use green (very soothing for me personally). Have you had a look in there to see if there are colours that would brighten up your BWS experience?

Dancer, I noticed from your blog that being anonymous is important to you, or that is what I perceived. I think we reveal a lot about ourselves on this site. Sometimes it isn't so pretty, and we can't take it back. It is like a relationship that keeps evolving. But what you've experienced is a whole lot of truth here. I'm not one for the welcoming committee, so I'm glad you felt welcomed. I too left a site that was important to me because it did turn in on itself, as you say. I found BWS and never looked back. You are very prolific in arts, fashion, and dance.

Dancer9, I think it is also a tribute to Dotsie and her ideals and faith as to the success of this forum. You haven't been here long enough to know, but there are some who have come in here just to stir things up...and left. There are some who come just to advertise their wares..but they too leave. There are some who come in the disguise of a boomer and they are just collecting data for books, articles, and thesis...they eventually leave as well.

Then there are those who are truly looking for friendships, kindness, warmth, a shoulder to cry on, a port in a troubled stormy life. They stay, they contribute, they heal...and they usually bring more people here; the cycle continues.

We're very happy that you found us, and even more happy that you've stayed.

Dancer
its been a pleasure getting to know you.I relate to many of the women here.Its as if I am at a gathering and people come up and speak to me.Your post about fashion made good reading.
You asked about my amber...often I feel I post and it goes into the ether wheras you came back as if we were speaking.
I have a dear friend now retired who was with Houston Ballet..he has lived the life of a dancer and now has returned to hi home town.I danced as a girl in Scotttish folk dancer and know the joy of movement.
Stay around Dancer.you brighten my world.
Mountain ash

dancer, thanks you for taking the time to share your feelings about BWS. It means so much. I had no idea what would evolve when I launched BWS almost five years ago. Now, I feel so blessed to have all of you in my life. God is good.

Dotsie, I thank God for you everyday - even those days when I can't be here in the forum. Even then, it's impossible to leave this community behind...I carry you and everyone here in my heart wherever I go (including Budapest and Prague!) God certainly knew what He was doing when He whispered in your heart's ear all those years ago...thank you for listening, and for giving us all this wonderful place to gather and just "be" together.

I am blown away by the friendliness and closeness on this site. I've perused forums for years and have never found anything like it! We're all different and state that at times but that's what makes it so good. And I so appreciate the seemingly very low tolerance for disrespect. Having only been here for a month, I'm already drawn in and addicted....checking it a million times a day when I should be working. Maybe this is just newness for me and I'll settle down after awhile. I feel like I actually know so many of the fine women here. The only thing is, when hearing so much, my heart tends to feel so heavy....not burdened....just heavy for so many. Then I pray for them. I have found such a gift in this site. And, as usual, it came at the exact right time. I often wish I had found this years ago like many of you did, but I have to trust that the timing was perfect. Thank you, Dotsie, for having this borne in your heart to reach out. We boomers are awesome, if I do say so myself!

Thank you for your kind words, Mountain Ash.
I can tell by your posts that you understand our lives, (those of a dancer.) It's nice to be understood, and rare!
Say hello to your friend. We have lived a rare life indeed!
You keep moving! Dance is magic, and if you've danced, you know that. Keep moving and all will be well in your soul.
dancer9

I didn't know about the skins, Eagle Heart,I will look for them. Thanks for the info!
dancer9

Wise and true, Eagle Heart. This forum can bring the best out of people who never had a voice.
dancer

Like JJ said, there have been some who have come to "stir things up", unfortunately leaving others with the feeling that their voices are no longer valid or wanted or safe here. This hurts me, and all of us, when we see these voices and wisdoms silenced for whatever reason. All we can do is to continue to strive to make this a safe place for all who come here, welcoming and embracing the wisdom and light each one brings through their unique life experience.

I for one believe it's no accident that women find us. I stumbled in here having no idea whatsoever what this place was...but within hours of posting my first post (a desperately lonely cry for help), I knew without a doubt that it was no accidental stumbling at all! This was EXACTLY where I needed to be at the time, and it's still exactly where I'm supposed to be, "paying it forward" and helping others who stumble in here.

It's not always easy or possible to meet everyone's needs here; many of us are wounded and deal with ongoing issues that aren't pleasant to cope with. All we can be is who we are...like Princess said, it ain't always pretty, but it's almost always the truth of who we are, and at the core of that is a profound caring and hope for the well-being of all who enter here.

I'm like LadyJane with respect to really taking the cares and concerns of the women here to heart...although I may not always feel able to respond publicly, I ALWAYS carry the women here in my heartprayers throughout the day and especially during insomniac nights. It's no burden, it's one of the few gifts I'm still capable of giving - to be able to pray for people.

It is painful at times. I've been very worried about someone who posted what sounded very much like a suicidal farewell here several months ago. I haven't been able to reach her, and have no idea how to...it stressed me out so much for many weeks, but eventually all I could do was offer it up to God and ask Him to take care of her because she was out of my reach. Those situations (people leaving for negative reasons) are sad and painful for those of us who care deeply for this place and the women within this community. But we can only do what we can, and then hope that others more wiser and capable - and/or God - will fill in the gaps.

“If we envision a world where women support each other and help each other find their place in an ever-changing world, then we can become the change we want to see. Jealousy, envy, criticism, and judgment are refuges for the insecure. As we help others to become self-assured, we create a world in which all people help each other, regardless of gender.

Only women can make the change in how women are seen and understood, not just by other women but by the world at large. The way we speak about each other to other women and to the men in our lives informs everyone to treat us with the respect that all women, and all people, deserve.”

I wish I wrote this, but I didn't; got it from Dailyom.

What touches me time and time again is how most of these posts come directly from our hearts; just alone this thread can really move me. At the same time we can be silly and bond in our common ways of thinking, just like we used to do at pajama parties. All this is what holds me here, and is the reason why this site has become a dear and valuable part of my life.

I’m glad we are all open to new sisters that can enrich our lives. We were all once newbies here at one time.

Sometimes, after or during a stressful situation, I come here and feel like I am home, where hearts are warm, and the love flows free. I hope to impart the same feelings in those who come here and find myself and others sitting around the cyber fire waiting to great them. Home 'is' where the heart is...

Ladies, listen and follow your heart. That's all I did when I launched this site...and God sent spirited women here to enrich it. It was all a part of his plan.

Eagle, please email me about the woman you were wondering about. Perhaps I know something. I hope I do.

I recently asked for feedback for the association and one woman wrote that she thought I should have a HELP line. So this is now one of the dreams for the NABBW and BWS. To do this I would need to hire profssionals and I can't quite do that yet, but I thought it was an interesting idea.

I am continually amazed at how we can discuss such heavy topics in one forum, then go to another and end up laughing hysterically.

Dancer, I've always found your messages very interesting and I believe I have a lot in common with you although I couldn't dance my way out of a paper bag!

This is a wonderful site and some women stay a while and then leave but they have left behind great words of wisdom in most cases. I'm just glad you found us!

thank you Dianne, you are very kind.
dancer