For the good of others

This seems to be a mantra that is sinking deep within me, though I don't know that I do enough to live up to this.

I thought it might be fun for us to begin sharing what we do for the good of others so we can learn from one another soem of the neat ways to go about this.

Anyone want to join me?

I'll begin, and I will share that this is not a way to brag about what we do. It's simply a way to make us think about what we're doing, and perhaps cause us to do more for others. It's also a way for us to see what others are doing for others.

While visiting my FIL today, I chatted with another visitor who said she was going through a lot of changes. She looked sad. I got a feeling something very sad is going on in her life that is above and beyond the person she visits who has ALzheimer's. When finished talking, I told her I'd keep her in my prayers, and she really lit up and thanked me.

Not a big deal, but it felt right.

Last night I made dinner for my committee meeting. I really like doing this because several of them are young and appreciate a good meal. The others cook all the time and appreciate a break. And two others have wives who cook for them all the time, but love to eat. They are so gracious, but they have to remember that I used to cook big meals all the time when the kids were young and had friends coming and going. Now I don't do it quite so much, and it's something I enjoy.

How about anyone else?

I smile and greet everyone I see wherever I go, and express an interest in them as people. I listen to what people have to say, really listen, not just nod and make appropriate noises. And I never give advice unless I'm asked (I often have to bite my tongue on this one, but I'm getting better!)

Bringing this back...

yonuh, thanks for sharing. I especially like the piece about giving advice. I need to listen to that. Also, listening is a dying art since everyone's so busy.

Here's the thing. We do these things because it makes US feel good...and the results is that we make others feel good as well. How can this be wrong even though we are performing these acts of kindness to get the "warm fuzzy." Now I'm not saying this is our motivation (in our minds) but isn't it?

I try to forgive. It is not always easy and especially when there are those around me who push the right buttons. Then...I realize something. They are my buttons, not theirs...so they can push all day and it is my reaction to the pushing that gets the REaction.

So first I have to forgive ME.

Listening, forgiving, and living. These are all great gifts to give ourselves as well as others.

Just my op

Hmmm, not sure that's why I do things for the good of others. Like when I told my friend I'd pray for her. I didn't do it because it makes me feel good. I did it because I felt like she needed it, and I could easily pray for her.

But you said "it felt right." Isn't that a good feeling to have?

In my own case, I do what I do because it may help someone else but my own feeling don't really come into it. I will say it feels good to help someone who might otherwise be ignored. Does that make any sense?

It feels good? Would you do it if it felt bad? Or wrong?

My niece had a baby last weekend. Hooray. Instead of sending them flowers from the florist, I'm getting pink tulips from Trader Joe's and a bunch of fresh, fun foods, and will feel like I'm getting more for my money.

Took dinner to Dad last night.

Boy, I really am about the food, aren't I? No wonder I can't lose weight. I guess I like to feed people, and myself.

Oh yes, it felt right, but I wasn't thinking of me and what it did for me. I was thinking of her.

Actually, sometimes when I set out to do something for someone else, it feels like a chore, but once it's done, and the reaching out is finished, I am changed for the better.

Some things are better left unsaid. I like doing good things and look for nothing in return & without any expectation of receiving any thanks. Although it is nice and I do like being thanked for doing kind things for others, I have been disappointed when my efforts are not recognized. Thus, should I do something (whatever that may be) without expecations and in secrecacy (which makes it all the more fun!) I feel better for my efforts.

Hi, friends. You might be interested in "She Did What She Could," by Elisa Morgan. I highly recommend it.

JawJaw, it often feels right because it IS right. If it feels wrong, then our instincts are telling us not to go there. I don't think this is about "It feels right for ME;" it's about, "It's right. Period." We know inside our hearts, if only we would listen. "Right" is not always the easy path.

We are vessels, messengers, conduits. We have free will, and choose the message/action we wish to live.

That was my point all along...it feels right/good. That's why we love doing things for others. IT FEELS GOOD to do it. Feeling good and feeling "right," are synonymous to me. No?

Well I visit the nursing home a couple times a week and buy clothes and kleenex and Ensure and pudding for a friend.
While I'm there I visit many of residents because they like to
have company, too. I feel like I'm doing something to help
others. That's my ministry right now. God bless the abused and
wrap His arms around them!

You may or may not know that chemo-therapy is not necessarily private. When you have chemo, you're in a room with a lot of others having chemo. It's the same for kidney dialysis. When I was going through chemo, I'd walk into the room, and everyone looked so miserable, the ones getting the treatment, and the ones who accompanied them (if the patient had anybody). What I did was to look at each and every patient and their support and make eye contact and smile at them. This was a for them. How did it feel? I don't know. It was just for them. It seemed to have nothing to do with me because I was in the mood to be miserable. I think to make a conscious choice to smile was not self-serving. My natural inclination is to look down and away. Anyway, I choose that experience to divulge here for some reason. I think it is great when one person goes to a place like a nursing home, and makes an effort to visit with someone other than the relative or friend.

PL,
I think what you did is wonderful. My friend is so destroyed
she cries much of the time. That brings those around her down;
so I try to lift them up. I heard another resident say today,
"I don't want to be in a nursing home." That lady isn't very
old, either. I smile and cheer them up as much as possible.
My heart is breaking for my friend, but like you say, a smile
is something you can give no matter what. I have another friend going through chemo right now; and I have a brother in the same situation. Needless to say, I do a lot of praying!

PL,
I've been thinking about U and how you've overcome a great deal.
Prayers and blessings,

that " to do without expectasions" a crucial thing to learn for me in my life, then it didn't matter if it was recognised or thanked or if anyone knew or not.

like giving to charities, i do if i see them on the street (contradicting the prupise heer) but i also have a wee direct debit or standing order, (once a mounth the take a sum of cash out my bank) not sure what you cakll it. Its done and i never rember becouse i decided to do it without needing to feel good about it.

opps iv vered of my point mustang girl lol

but the learning about expectasions and not to have to high or any expectasion changed a bit of my life for the better, the ssame stuff did din't get done its just how I feel about it that makes the diffrences. no one knew of ever needed too but i felt ok wiht it

thanks for explaning that bit more in depth jaw jaw now it makes more sence if good and rights the same for you.

i thought no we would't do it if it felt bad but its not the point but being the right thing to do intiuision wise a diffrent type of right but an important one as i sure you both know.

sometimes the right thing ise't allways the sweet thing to do at times but that may be for a diffrent thread.

your right princess L and somehow i did thin it was a private thing becouse it ment an individuel room but obviously not.

hard to do as i sure no one was enjoying it thir but it never get over how just a normale bus journey is full of people being quite blue and feeling what looks like the world on thir sholders.

i sometimes wonder if its becouse they slowed dowen, not actully going anyweeer but from a to b so have a short time to do nuthing but think.

is thinking good for us aas a nation lol

perhapps its more thinking that needed instead of being sweapt along in wave of noise.

Celtic I hope you are feeling better with much love and caring from friends and family. You are in my prayers.