Hmmmm...

Received an email regarding appearing on Oprah. Problem is, I have signed an agreement with Montel Williams to not appear on another tv show for a certain period of time before his airs. Still don't have the air date either.

As always, it will work out if it's supposed to.

GIRL! Oprah wants you to appear on her show? And you have already been taped with Montel? What the heck for?

JJ

Heck YEAH!! I want to know why you're appearing. Give us the scoop.

Kate

Dianne,
I brought this back up so you could share with everyone this fantastic news! Now spill your guts woman! We want to know...this is for???


JJ

Montel? Oprah? You're throwing those names around like I say Dotsie and JawJaw - my big celebrity friends.

Details, girl. We're dying here...

Donna

How thrilling, congrats, and all the rest...details, we want details! Please!!! When will you be on Montel? I cwn't wait to watch.

I'm so "I don't care about Oprah" that I didn't even mention it to my husband last night. I emailed them back and told them that I had a signed contract with Montel and couldn't appear within 90 days before his show airs.

I taped Montel and it should air this month or next. They will let me know about a week before. I am his domestic violence expert on this show. For those who don't know, I wrote a book on domestic violence called, Whose Face is in the Mirror? but that isn't how his producers found me. They found my website doing a search on spousal abuse.

Oprah (I believe) has never treated survivors of abuse really well on her show and I lost a lot of respect for her, especially considering some of her background. For that reason, I don't care if I'm on her show or not. I've talked to people who have appeared on her show and they weren't treated well at all. If it happens, it's because it's supposed to, which right now, goes against what I really would like to do.

So, that's it. Not THAT exciting!

Well la de dah and pardon my gasp. We have a celebrity in our midst. You go girl and for what its worth. Montel has a decent show BUT honey, Oprah is the QUEEN and so what if she isn't Mother Theresa the exposure you could get on that show for your book and expertise is mind boggling. Personally, I would reconsider and do Oprah even if its only for the exposure. May I congratulate you on your success...wow!!

I am so "not a celebrity!"

I know you'll find this strange but I didn't write the book for fame or money and I always back off from it. I've turned down Ricki Lake and Queen Lativah (sp) because of their format. Wanted to have the abuser on with the victim, for rating's sake and those people don't care if they get the poor woman killed or not!

For you Oprah Lovers, I used to love her too and she does wonderful things for people but I started noticing a change in her persona quite a while ago and it bothers me. I've been at her show as an audience member and she just wasn't friendly at all. I'm sure she's tired of people wanting a piece of her.

Montel promoted my book so much...I couldn't afford publicity like that but it was because he read on the back cover that all proceeds go to The Hay Foundation, which helps battered women and those suffering from AIDS. That excited him. I'm sure he has all sorts of people on that only want to promote for their own gain, something I don't blame people for at all. I can't begin to tell you how much he pushed my book...so much that my publisher has to re-release it! That means more money for battered women.

Dianne, I'm impressed that you wrote a good book that people want to hear about, and you're donating the proceeds to a very worthy cause. And from your description of Montel, he's "done you right", which counts for a lot in my book.

I agree wth you: integrity is so much more important than fame.

Dianne you are a very modest person but you've accomplished something most of us just dream of whether it be for fame, riches or our favorite charity etc. I still say good for you and wish you and the book all the riches of whatever kind it and you deserve. I thought I was the only person that felt Oprah was changing, noticing little things but they're there to notice. Oh well, even though she just renewed her contract until 2011 maybe she is tired of people, who knows? Anyway, good for you...not only for getting published but for writing a book that makes a difference.

Dianne, I also applaud you for wanting to make a difference. I hope you sell tons of books after you appear on Montel. Please tell us when you hear that it's airing!

I thank you for all the very kind comments. Oprah renewed until 2011? I, for one, won't be watching her for that long. I think there is a real danger is recognizing how much power you have and letting it go to your head. I don't want to judge her becaue that's not for me to do. I just speak what I've noticed and what I've heard from some insiders that worked with her on the sidelines (reviewing books, etc.) However, she's done so much for so many people that I pray God continues to bless her so she can bless others!

I think one of the differences between Oprah--Montel is he's facing a future in a wheelchair with all of his mobility gone. I believe he has to look at the world from a different standpoint. I know, I would. Who knows how much time he has left to get things done. His staff is nice...all of them. Very warm and cordial. So is his make up and hair people. No "fame" thing going and we taped for his 14th season, which sure says something in my book.

I'll share something that I was made very much aware of during the process of writing and being published: Gary Zukav said in one of his books, "Intent is the greatest force behind any endeavor we undertake." I had no desires to be published or get rich off a book. I wanted to help women. I even had long discussions with my agent who stressed when a huge book on why men batter came out while he was searching for a publisher for mine. I told him that a battered woman wouldn't be helped by knowing why men batter. They are already looking for excuses. My book was meant to be and it would happen. He even wrote about me in one of his books...ended the book with a quote from me, which is a huge compliment. So, I think examining intent and what one really wants from an endeavor is extremely valuable. If you want to make money and that is your intent, there is nothing wrong with that at all! We just need to be honest about it. I don't think we ever fool people anyway, do you?

Being on Oprah would increase your readership and thus the amount of help you can be to battered women?

Your book can't help anyone unless they read it and the people who watch Oprah are obviously readers.
Just look at the best-sellers her show has spawned.
Wishing you the best either way. My only advice is to pray about your decision.
smile

[ August 08, 2004, 05:38 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience with Oprah. I've been a viewer off and on over the years and think she continues to grow as a human being herself as well as what she hopes to achieve in her lifetime.

I've not seen the show or shows where she treated a victim badly. Of course, we all perceive things differently, too.

I think the exposure and ultimate good that could be done through Oprah's venue would far outweigh my misgivings (my opinion only).

She said something life-changing (to me), which someone else may have been insulted by.

It was something like - today is a new day, no matter what happened to you before or how your life was horrible - you are ultimately responsible for the decisions you make. I related it to my own miserable past and felt empowered to "choose" whether to remain a victim or to move on. This statement stayed with me, and I'm trying to recall what show/when this was - it's been some time. I vaguely recall someone who had been on welfare, child of alcoholic, etc., but once you are removed from the situation you can choose NOT to let the past dictacte your present path.

This came in handy when I was working at a Junior High school, dealing with kids in trouble all the time. Getting the message across that they could choose how they responded to any situation, and could in fact control only themselves. They do not have the power to control others, but do have the power to make a different choice than once that has been modeled for them.

I think I'm rambling on and on and getting off topic. Just wanted to say I hope there comes a time when your book and advice can reach as many as people as possible.

I would be interested in Oprah's response if asked why she treated someone badly.

Montel's viewers are also readers.

I think it bothers me to focus on being on Oprah to sell the book. Intent thing again. I guess it will happen if and when it's supposed to, if at all. I do understand what you mean about helping women who might see me and buy the book. I've tried so hard to pull myself away from the marketing of the book (outside of what my publisher lines up for me) and to keep my intent pure (not that making money is not pure!) but to continue in the same realm that I was in while writing it. It's really easy to fall into the ego trap...really easy!

Hey, if you find an ego trap and don't want to fall into it, let me know. I'll kindly JUMP in. I love ego traps.
smile

Smile, you're too funny!

Okay, I am now in negotiations with one of Oprah's producers about being on the show. The poor woman is going in 15 different directions so we're playing the "brief phone conversations" game. She's a very nice person.

Today, please watch Oprah. It's a rerun but the woman on one segment of the show (Polly Mitchell) is the same woman who is on the Montel Show with me. Tell me what you think. Bizarre story!