I am dating an old boyfriend from my youth. We reconnected three years ago and have been dating long distance for a year now. When we were younger my parents would not let him come near my house and nagged me non-stop to break up with him. They said they would dis-own me if I didn't so eventually I did break up with him and they were pleased as punch. He was the sweetest person and they never knew it. After all these years he has not changed. I was married to an abuser and dated many other guys and he is by far the best. He is supportive, generous, loving and kind and would do anything for anyone.
I did not tell my mother we reconnected as I was sure she would have the same reaction as back then, I was right.
It was my 50th birthday yesterday. My mom planned a wonderful surprise birthday party for me. It was great. When she came over last night she saw a bouquet of roses on the table and asked my daughter who they were from. I was out walking the dog. My daughter said a friend and my Mom asked what is his name. I think someone at my party let the cat out to the bag. Anyway my Mom said to my daughter, not that dark guy, eeewwwwh, I can't stand the sight of him.
My daughter did not know what to say so said nothing. She could not believe my Mom would say something so rude and nasty and told me about it when I got home. My mother has never met this guy. She is totally judging him by the colour of his skin. He is of a mixed race. I have taught my children to accept all races and they do. They have variety of friends from all nationalities and races and can't stand racism.
My problem. My Mom said nothing to me, but she knew that my daughter would tell me what she said. She knew it would upset me and it did. I know I should just forget it as it is her problem but I'm really hurt that she would say such a thing to my daughter. Can't she see that it makes her look bad. It has brought up all the old hurt feelings from my past. I was so embarrassed when I was dating him back then. His parents accepted me and I was over at his house all the time but he could never come to my house or even go on the property. I totally understand that my mother is old school and back then it wasn't as accepted as it is today. What I'm most upset about is that she doesn't keep her opinions to herself. What should I do, confront her, or forget it?
Advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
Katebc