Starting Over:

I agree w/ your pastor that your husband is a "master manipulator". Totally!

Regarding the home, since the delta alpha is being so very pedantic -- can you contact the mortgage company, explain and discuss any other alternatives? Most lenders don't start foreclosure proceedings until you've missed 4 or 5 payments, depending upon the state and lender.

I found the following literature which may be helpful:


Before taking back your house, most lenders would rather rewrite the loan, suspend principal payments for a while (have you pay interest only), reduce your payments, or even let you miss a few payments and spread them out over time.

If your loan is owned by one of the giant U.S. government mortgage holders, Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac, foreclosure could come even more slowly. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have been working with homeowners to avoid foreclosure when a loan is delinquent.

If your loan is insured by a federal agency, such as the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) or the Federal Housing Administration (FHA), the lender may be required to try to assist you in preventing foreclosure.

You're better off selling the house than having it go to foreclosure. As a general rule, if you can find a buyer who will offer to pay at least what you owe your lender, take the offer. If the offer is for less than the amount you owe your lender, your lender can block the sale. But many lenders will agree to a "short sale," where the sale brings in less than you owe the lender and the lender agrees to forego the rest. Some lenders require documentation of any financial or medical hardship you are experiencing before agreeing to a short sale.