Dotsie,
At 25 months of age, I was too old not to be traumatized by abandonment. I knew I belonged somewhere other than where I was but I didn't know where that was. My adoptive mom tried to see how much damage my birth mom had done and she took me to Children's Hospital for physical tests, then to a shrink for emotional evaluation. I remembered my birth name from a hospital loudspeaker summons. Over the years, every woman who gave me the least bit of attention, was my imaginary real mom. NO; I didn't know for sure birth family were nearby. I felt it in my spirit. My adoptive mom never talked about it. I didn't want to hurt her, so I waited until dad and she graduated into the spirit, before I seriously searched for biological kinfolk. After I did, I wished I hadn't. The trauma was compounded. I was rejected a second time. My birth mom had abandoned all eleven of her kids, at different stages in their lives. Most of my siblings were jealous that I was adopted...and on and on it goes. Today, I have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) but it isn't totally from that. Other issues contributed, as well. The reason I searched is because, identity is a huge thing when you're not sure who you are. I wanted to know why I was left; what had happened that my mother didn't want me. The answer was: I came from a family where four generations of women had been abused. Need I say more?
Your kids, Dotsie, are probably victims of economic instability. That's different.
Whatever you do, good luck!!!!
Luv,
BRose