Hi Eagle,
I can so relate to what you are saying about your hair. I didn't do anything to take care of myself while caring for my Dad until one day while out picking up some groceries I went into a nail salon and got my eyebrows waxed. I didn't bring a tweezer when I left home and instead of buying one, I had them done. I really felt good after that, (even though it actually hurt. I'd always done my own up until that day) Take some time for yourself. I know it's really hard to do that, but you won't regret it. In fact, you really need to spend a few minutes on yourself sometimes. It will recharge you and help relieve some of the stress.

It's great about VON helping too. I know while I was caring for my Dad, even though we were doing all that we could, I always felt like maybe there was something else that I should be doing, or more. My Dad ended up on Hospice and when they came in to help, I felt so much better knowing that he was getting everything he could possibly need. We still did what we were doing but just having someone else check, and help, made me feel so much better. It was like someone saying, yes, you are doing everything right, Keep it up.

The crying is natural too. We need to release the tension sometimes. Towards the end, I got a phone call from a distant family member. That day had been a rough one and I didn't think I could go on but this person had just been through what I was in the middle of and talking to him really, really helped me. I am so grateful to him. I cried and he comforted me. Eagle, let it out when you need to, where ever you are. Believe it or not, crying it out will also help to recharge you and in return help you to be a better caretaker for your brother.

I'm sorry that you have the holidays to deal with right now. That makes everything harder. I missed my 29th wedding anniversary with my husband and that was hard but I think the holidays would be worse.

Hugs to you and yours!