The question I would ask is...how old is your mom?

From my experience, as they age, they do tend to become less able to filter their feelings. I used to think it was just older folks taking advantage of being older, and therefore able to say anything.

One of my nursing friends, a woman who has worked with seniors for some years, told me that there is actually a reason behind this behavior. There is a stage where one reverts back to a time before the "social filters" came into play. Is it possible that your mother has reached this stage?

One piece of advice my wonderful sister-in-law gave me recently. She cares for her mother -- same age as mine.

"Honey, the sooner you realize that your version of reality and your mom's version of reality are never going to meet in the middle, and you stop trying to convince her you are right -- you will be a lot happier."

It still doesn't make it easier when they say or do things we don't agree with. And, certainly, I would never condone racism myself. But, you could be just setting yourself up for banging your head up against a wall by trying to change her. As long as you and your children are in agreement, isn't that all that matters, anyway?

Just my thoughts...

and...a story for you...just so you know you're not alone.

The last time one of my siblings traveled via airplane with mom, she really said something out of line. She is, by nature, a kind person who would usually not say anything to hurt another.

She watched people boarding the plane, then said in a really loud voice, "I don't recall when I have seen so many fat people in one place! I don't know how this plane is even going to get of the ground with all these fat people on it!"

Good thing she is a little, sweet-faced elderly woman, or my sibs and I would be constantly defending her.

The other thing...just so you don't think she is dissing others who aren't like her...Mom is not thin. She isn't heavy, but no way is she petite, either. So, this wasn't like she was remarking from the point of view of someone who doesn't take up a lot of space.

We just try to keep smiling, knowing that she is not at heart mean-spirited. This old-age trip, as she calls it, has been one of many surprises.