Thanks everyone. No one shares my mothers opinion. My kids have met him and really like him. He has been coaching his kids baseball teams since they were both five, and they are now 17 and he still does. Spends the entire season, all his evenings and weekends with his kids and the other kids on the teams. He is great with kids and mine think he is really funny and nice. I have raised them not to see colour and to embrace differences. My daughter was shocked and didn't know what to say. I did tell her all about my teen years and how my parents reacted. When we met up again by accident (and I agree there are no accidents) I told my Dad about it. We have a great relationship and talk about everything. He was not too thrilled at first but after talking about it more than once he actually apologized to me. He said he doesn't like the idea and he realizes that is wrong. He said my happiness is all that he cares about. All my friends think my Mom is really out of line. The interesting thing is my Mom doesn't like many people. She can't stand my Dad's friends, and puts them down all the time. Some of them are not allowed to come to their house even though my Dad pays the rent. She doesn't like my brothers wife because she is 11 years older so she isn't good enough for him. They have been happily married for 25 years and my Mom is still rude to her when they visit which is rare. They live in the US and haven't visited for three years and I don't blame them. She dis-owned my uncle, her brother. There are many more examples. She ironically loves Oprah, go figure. I know it's her problem but it still bugs me. I'm working on letting go of any anger I feel towards her as she will never change. Although I don't agree with her, she is entitled to her opinions even though they go against all of my values. I don't think I am going to say anything to her because it won't make a bit of difference and it will just upset me. I won't hide the fact that we are dating though. It's really sad that there are people like her that are so judgmental. She goes to church every Sunday but I don't think she listens to the message or the messenger. The real sad part is that she alienates people and doesn't really have any friends. She goes to senior centres but no one invites her to their house or out for coffee. They can see what she is like in a few minutes because she talks about people behind their backs. Always saying stuff like their fat, or how can they wear those sloppy clothes etc. When I was growing up she was always telling me certain sayings. One of them was "If you can't say anything good, don't say anything at all". That stuck in my head and I live by it. Too bad she didn't take her own advice. She had some good sayings but doesn't live by them herself. Anyway, I could go on and on.
Accepting doesn't mean agreeing. I need to learn to accept and let go. That is my lesson for this week and I shall continue to work on it.
Thanks again for all your kind words.
Katebc