Dianne, is it possible to have someone with you when your daughter comes by; a friend or relative? Maybe then your daughter will act differently; hopefully hold her anger back, and at the same time you get some moral support.

I know there are issues here that I don't really understand. But no matter, I think no person has the right to make another person's life miserable just because she or he is miserable. You can sympathize with the person, and feel with them, but as soon as that person, no matter who it is, lashes out at you and treats you cruelly, then the first instinct should be to protect yourself and close the door on that trouble maker. I think you're doing that. Bravo.