Dianne, I hope U R still reading this thread. I was thinking today about this topic while I was stuck in traffic, doing a 45 minute detour in a 3 mile radius. What a mess! Colorado Springs is like Boston with "the big dig" in freeway reconstruction. The best city of its size in America is also the most congested city in America (Co springs.) Anyway, my thought was wondering how one can love someone else through their anger. Anger is fear, and can one love another through their fears. "It saddens me beyond my tears that love is lost within the fears." Your daughter is losing her ability to love because she is in fear, and the fear is manifested at anger. That anger is abusive to her own self and others. My mother did not love me through my anger. Her love was conditional on her behavior. I should say that she loved me, but her interaction with me was contigent upon whether or not I would exhibit the actions of the model child she wanted, but couldn't have. To this day, I feel like she loves me not because of what I achieved, but because of what I achieved to make her look and feel good. I wished she had loved me through the anger. I understand that every interaction between parents and children is different, and I never had any. But I can be objective enough to have empathy for both you and her. I wish and hope your daughter will see how she is responsible for changing her attitude from anger to love.